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My NC journal...day 4


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Aiming for 30 days and then see.

 

I dumped him a month ago in heat of moment, bitterly regretted it, and have been a text terrorist...need to stop!

 

Day 4, feeling pleased with myself, not drinking and trying to keep busy.

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Day 5.....breaking the habit I hope.

 

7 days is a celebration as never been out of contact that long before, two days to go to milestone.

 

Went out last night with a friend, didn't drink much so my resolve doesn't weaken, easier to be strong when busy.

 

2 days to go...woo hoo.

 

In 30 days I hope I just don't care any more, who knows.

 

Haven't blocked his email or mobile number or facebook though defriended, but might do in another week.

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Day 6...woo hoo, another day and its my first week

 

Definitely the way to go, still a bit down but less on my mind and starting to think about other things now.

 

Have a date this week, don't want to go but will force myself.

 

Getting out the habit of clutching phone and constantly checking it.

 

Apparantly it takes 30 days to break a habit, I really hope so:)

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Good job tulip!

 

I'm on day 18, and like you I have given myself a 30 day deadline. I'm allowed to contact him after 30 days...if I want to. And to be honest, I don't think I do!

 

It does get easier, but believe me, it's not easy! Day 15 I was on top of the world, today I was in tears. Keeping busy helps, and it feels good not to be a slave to your phone!

 

You mentioned you were the dumper. Why did you breakup with them? What did he say when you wanted them back?

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Hello!

 

Wish I were at day 18, a bit like you I am not sure I will want to contact in 30 days!.

 

I broke up because had before him just broken up with a 6 year relationship, he had put

pressure on to do this, he was an ex from years ago!. He was talking about kids

and I was all over the place really, did/do love him but I was a bit of a mess, emotional and

clingy etc and he behaved badly on a couple of occasions so in heat of moment I said

bye and then we had terrible rows for 2 weeks!.

 

He didn’t say anything when I said I wanted in time to try again, but agreed to meet

for a coffee in a month or so, trouble was when he ignored me I became a text demon

and probably drove him crazy.

 

Sigh!! x

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I understand completely, I also became a text terrorist. I am sooo ashamed of that now! It's good that you aren't letting him pressure you and you are taking time for you. My situation was similar - but reversed. I wanted to get marry/settle down and he was a bit all over the place. Then we fought like crazy! Then he dumped me! He hasn't shown any signs of remorse though, just this burning desire to get away from me and everything we had. So it's like he's doing NC to me! I've chosen to follow suit cos it's the only way I'll heal, and the only way I'll stop hassling him. And it's working!

 

You will get to day 18 too, and I remember being on day 5 and admiring everyone who was further ahead. Now I'm admiring those who are hitting the 2, 3 month mark! The boards are are great support :)

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The text terrorism is so awful when you look back, and the more they ignore the more you do it!!!

 

Its insane:eek:

 

You are right NC is the way to go, and 30 days is a good start point x

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So want to text but can't, wine is my downfall, 2 large glasses and my fingers are hoovering over my phone, know number by heart, instead I am going to write my text here, terrorism never won any heart.

 

I am so sorry I screwed up, I am sorry I hounded you after dumping you, but even now I am not ready to have a relationship and children with you. You

put pressure on me to decide between my long term ex and you.

 

I chose you, but had mega baggage, and couldn't cope with it, and I acted

badly at times, need to find a new job and that didn't help.

 

I told you I loved you back and I meant it, but I need time, and I'm not playing games. I want to be with you but my head is everywhere and I know

contacting you know is just going back to old relationship, I want a new positive one with you.

 

Have never loved anyone like I love you, you chased for 7 years, do you hate me now?.

 

Me

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