Miss TT Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 We have been broken up for four months. I wanted him back the moment it happened, he was reluctant. In the initial stages he said he wants us over, that it is the best for us both, that simply he feels we are not compatible and would only hurt one another down the track. Latter stages of the split he said he is confused and scared and never wanted us to get to this. These last few weeks, I hear nothing from him and he hears nothing from me. I miss him so damn much and keep telling myself that if i really love him i wont be selfish and I should give him what he wants (away from me) I know the reason for our fighting (hence his opinion regarding us not being compatible) was all my fault, i was in a dark place and took what i had for granted. How can i know if we stand any chance at all?? My heart deep deep down just doesnt feel it is over 100% How can I know for sure...what signs shall i look for...should I give him more space.... Link to post Share on other sites
b89 Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 You should come to terms with that its over. Always hold onto the hope, but dont let it consume you. Your right in that you should give him what he wants, and if it's meant to be, he'll contact you. It sounds like youve made your feelings clear to him, so really the balls in his court Link to post Share on other sites
b89 Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 Also, you may not believe it, but please dont tell yourself that it was all your fault, its almost never just one persons fault, you need to go easy on yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Miss TT Posted April 26, 2011 Author Share Posted April 26, 2011 Thank b89 - although it feels better to think that perhaps it wasnt 'all' my fault. Truth is, I was my worst nighmare - the typical ungrateful spoilt kid who didnt know how good she actually had it - oh well, fingers are burnt now, hopefully I know better for next time... I am generally a level headed person, so I accept that for him its over - and I was doing ok with the no contact - until i got a message from him this weekedn wishing me a happy easter...that threw me right of track... i mean, really?? Did he need to send that ?? Link to post Share on other sites
b89 Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 Miss TT, it hurts me to know exactly what you mean, this weekend when my girlfriend and i broke up, it seemed final, i sent her a text saying "i dont expect anything in return, but i love and miss you" at like 8pm, and went to sleep, at like 3am i got a message back that woke me. She used to call me 'puppy' as a pet name, (whatever, its stupid) and the message said "goodnight puppy". When i read it this overwhelming sense of joy came over me, but very suddenly this wave of terrifying saddness hit me, and i lost control. Why on earth did she do that to me? Link to post Share on other sites
b89 Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 Also Miss TT, i hope im not being rude in asking if you had the time perhaps you could read my thread at http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t275335/ its been up for a while but no-one has even read it yet, im in a really hard place and am desperate for advice, so anyone reading this thread if you have time perhaps you could take a moment to read? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Miss TT Posted April 26, 2011 Author Share Posted April 26, 2011 See mmy thoughts on this are (and please correct me if i am wrong) if you are over somebody 100% you just dont contact them. Well thats me personally, I know that if I am not interested in someone, or am over an ex I will NOT send texts of any sorts whatsoever. To me, If i want my ex to get over me I will not send them a easter text after weeks of no contact - and I would not send them a "goodnight puppy" in response to their text - this is what I meant in my first post - how am I meant to know for sure that we stand no chance....when i get 8am texts wishing me a happy easter??? Link to post Share on other sites
LayDark Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 (edited) Thank b89 - although it feels better to think that perhaps it wasnt 'all' my fault. Truth is, I was my worst nighmare - the typical ungrateful spoilt kid who didnt know how good she actually had it - oh well, fingers are burnt now, hopefully I know better for next time... I am generally a level headed person, so I accept that for him its over - and I was doing ok with the no contact - until i got a message from him this weekedn wishing me a happy easter...that threw me right of track... i mean, really?? Did he need to send that ?? Listen MissTT... I know EXACTLY how you feel okay? My ex was also a very intelligent, giving boy I'd ever met, I didn't know what I had til I lost, I was also spoilt and selfish, I never really appreciated him, although behind that I loved him with all of my heart, and I have felt sooo guilty because I thought the break-up was thoroughly my fault. But truth is, that it's not. Did he ever tell you that he felt you took him for granted, and asked you to do more? My ex certainly did, and he knew I fought a big fight with myself, and nothing changed. So to him it didnt matter how much I love him, he just wouldnt stand it anymore so he left. Thats two mistakes. He probably did not appreciate you either. Even though, I acted like a spoiled bitch, I gave him thousand tokens of gifts, and they probably still are in his room. The point is... You feel guilty RIGHT NOW... But as time comes you see the faultis 50% on his side, I promise you that. If you want him back, the best I can think you can do is ask HIM to NC so that the ball will be in your court... Try S. Williams free plan on google, I really believe it works to reveal his true feelings... It tells you to send a correct NC message that will mess with his head and **** with his emotions. So dont be scared if he says stuff like "I am completely over you" trust me he is NOT but he is trying to make you give up, give him the ball, so he decides... Again... Edited April 26, 2011 by LayDark Link to post Share on other sites
b89 Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 Wonderfully said LayDark, and misstt, i know its hard, believe me, not knowing exactly how the other feels, but the chances are that hes not sure either. Like we said before, the facts are that he knows how you feel, and youve given him his space. Now all you can do is wait, and there are few things in life that are harder, (in my opinion anyway). While i was still unsure of how my girlfriend felt, being unsure was a far worse feeling than knowing it was over for sure, i promise you, so all this "No Contact" stuff is a load of crap in many ways, because it comes to a point where you need to look after yourself aswell. When you feel youve been emotionally pushed as far as you possibly can, you may need to draw a line and get what you need from him, as much as many idealists will tell you not to. Life HAS to go on, and its not fair if one persons holding power over you. Link to post Share on other sites
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