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Dumpees move on over time and Dumpers regret over time?


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Does anyone ever feel that as the dumpee, over time we begin to move on and as the dumper, over time they begin to reflect back and somewhat regret?... Just wondering... it came up in conversationo with my girlfriends over lunch today and I found it interesting...

 

Sometimes I think it's so difficult for dumpees to move on because they are scared that MAYBE THEY REALLY ARE moving on and starting to feel better and seeing they really DO deserve better... and if they are moving on that must also mean the dumper is moving on too and we of course don't want that so we feel that as long as we are miserable... they are to...

 

Just some food for thought...

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In my case 100% yes - She moved on within a few weeks

 

A year on i'm still full of regret especially when i see who she is with

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loverboy1984

I am the dumpee and everytime I start feeling good like I am finaly begining to move on I start to think how much better she feels since shes the dumper, and I feel bad again. I hope she regrets it since our break up was just due to distance and arguments, but I dont know. I think time heals both sides.

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I think this is sometimes the case, but far from always. I can't see my ex ever looking back with regret about dumping me. I think she's moved on with someone she considers a better fit for her, so leaving me isn't even in question.

 

And from my own experience, by the time I've come to the decision to break up with someone, it's clear in my mind that it's the right thing to do. I've regretted that someone else was hurt as a result of the breakup, but I've never regretted initiating a breakup that had to happen.

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Just because your ex is with someone else Ajax, doesn't mean she doesn't think of you and regret what happened... that I guess is my point I'm trying to make that we condition ourselves to think the dumper has no regrets and no feelings and their world is just sunshine and flowers...

 

I do agree with you that whenever I dumped someone (or even was the dumpee) I always said I would never go back to a person because I gave it my all while I was IN the relationship and I tried my hardest while I was IN the relationship...

 

I'm also from Western NY... beautiful day today, hu!?... Atleast no SNOW :)

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whoknowswhattodo
Does anyone ever feel that as the dumpee, over time we begin to move on and as the dumper, over time they begin to reflect back and somewhat regret?... Just wondering... it came up in conversationo with my girlfriends over lunch today and I found it interesting...

 

Sometimes I think it's so difficult for dumpees to move on because they are scared that MAYBE THEY REALLY ARE moving on and starting to feel better and seeing they really DO deserve better... and if they are moving on that must also mean the dumper is moving on too and we of course don't want that so we feel that as long as we are miserable... they are to...

 

Just some food for thought...

 

I'm feeling terrible right now and I'm the dumpee, I'm asking the same question. A lot like you everything was perfect and she just left me.

I'm hopeing my friends are right. They tell me its not a matter of if she will call you its a matter of when and if you will want her back? I hope they're right.

I miss her so much and I feel like my whole world is falling appart. I'm praying and praying everything will workout and she will come back.

I wish I knew how she was feeling but idk. Is she feeling regret? Will she come back? If so when? I feel your pain.

I miss my ex more every second.

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I'm feeling terrible right now and I'm the dumpee, I'm asking the same question. A lot like you everything was perfect and she just left me.

I'm hopeing my friends are right. They tell me its not a matter of if she will call you its a matter of when and if you will want her back? I hope they're right.

I miss her so much and I feel like my whole world is falling appart. I'm praying and praying everything will workout and she will come back.

I wish I knew how she was feeling but idk. Is she feeling regret? Will she come back? If so when? I feel your pain.

I miss my ex more every second.

 

I definitely know how your feeling... Wednesday for some reason (6 days NC) was VERY VERY VERY hard for me...I was at work...just finished this 8 month project.. was getting so much praise for a job well done and in the middle of this meeting with my boss tears just came rolling down my eyes... it was sooo embarassing!.. I ended up taking half the day off and I have never cried so hard in my life... Need I mind you, up until this break up I had not cried in litterally several years...

 

I must say after Wednesday... Thursday I felt "at peace"... I was kind of numb.. I sounded awful after all the crying that took place Wednesday but I was "okay"... yesterday I was really busy with work and was fine.. but Fridays were "our nights" and at the end of the night I was begining to feel crappy again...

 

I feel like it's a rollercoaster... I feel like I have ALWAYS been this independent girl.. always telling my girlfriends "I don't need a man.. I'm happy on my own!"... it's definitely caught up with me!.. I guess that's what love does to you ;)

 

I have always agreed to never get involved with an ex because I don't believe in "second chances" and I ask myself all the time "would you REALLY take this guy back?!..." and as much as I truly loved him... i know in my heart I would NEVER trust him to not pick up and walk away out of the clear blue... no body deserves that...

 

Day by day that's all you can do...

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whoknowswhattodo
Does anyone ever feel that as the dumpee, over time we begin to move on and as the dumper, over time they begin to reflect back and somewhat regret?... Just wondering... it came up in conversationo with my girlfriends over lunch today and I found it interesting...

 

Sometimes I think it's so difficult for dumpees to move on because they are scared that MAYBE THEY REALLY ARE moving on and starting to feel better and seeing they really DO deserve better... and if they are moving on that must also mean the dumper is moving on too and we of course don't want that so we feel that as long as we are miserable... they are to...

 

Just some food for thought...

 

I'm the dumpee and I hope she is missing me more every second of every day. I miss her so much and know I can't say anything or do anything or I will push her away.

Idk its killing me!!! I just want her to call me and say I'm sorry I want you back.

What's going through her head? Any advise???

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I'm the dumpee and I hope she is missing me more every second of every day. I miss her so much and know I can't say anything or do anything or I will push her away.

Idk its killing me!!! I just want her to call me and say I'm sorry I want you back.

What's going through her head? Any advise???

 

Do you have a link to your story?

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dragonfly22

Just as PinkChic said, I'm afraid second chances are not the same. I think my ex is currently very confused. He is also very proud so I don't know if he would ever openly say "i want you back" but deep inside i KNOW he will realize some day what he let go. I helped him deal with so many things and we were such an amazing team. He is one of those brilliant people who don't really know they are brilliant, so when we started dating he had this crappy job, most girls wouldn't even date a guy like him, and I helped him discover his potential. He now has an amazing job and a bright future ahead and of course...girls want him now so he decided its time to enjoy life. But I know he won't find again what we had. However, PinkChic is right, I would never trust him again.

 

Yesterday he told me he was sure we would be together again (after he gets bored of partying and sleeping around...yeah right!). I think he doesn't understand I'm not going to just stay here waiting for him to be ready to settle down. It really hurts, but there is no other option than moving on. So I guess in my case it could be true...dumper realizes what he let go, dumpee has moved on by the time it happens. Of course I can't predict the future, but I think that's how this will go.

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