butterfly2011 Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 Ok I need all on board here.... What do I do... He just text me. It says Hello Heather? Keep nc? He is starting to think about why I haven't text him or called him in two days...... What now? Link to post Share on other sites
Mov Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 Its not very specific so don't answer yet. make him think that you are not contactable at the moment - if he wants to make up then he will text again! Link to post Share on other sites
Author butterfly2011 Posted April 5, 2011 Author Share Posted April 5, 2011 Or he will call or show up to see me... something.... ok. no answering the hello text. He did that to me last week too and we all know the outcome of that..... he wanted to work things out but of course no actions came with those words. Thanks ... now I have anxiety...... yuck. So glad though that he is thinking of me. Definetely want him to wonder what im doing, etc..... Link to post Share on other sites
kingofhearts Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 It looks like a breadcrumb, butterfly...... I just tried this last week. They don't want anything. It just boosts their esteem to hear from you. PLEASE DON"T GO FOR IT. I wish I could turn back time. DONT DO IT. Link to post Share on other sites
kingofhearts Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 I'm not an expert at this AT ALL, but I think these people are really confused at this point and they're looking for a safety net just in case. Effin LOSERS. Link to post Share on other sites
geegirl Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 NC. "Hello Heather" = Let me see if puppet is still there. If he has anything of worth, he would tell you. NC. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Irishlove Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 I'd probably post back with "who is this?" Then if he said who it was I'd say "I'm great, can't talk..gotta run" Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 Don't respond. My ex does this occasionally (before I went full NC) and it would be something random, then a few days later after no response, some obvious questions. Ask again what to do if he says "I really miss you..." Link to post Share on other sites
Mov Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 I'm not an expert at this AT ALL, but I think these people are really confused at this point and they're looking for a safety net just in case. Effin LOSERS. Spot on king. usually a safety net, so they think they have someone to fall back on. Should lose both imo. Link to post Share on other sites
Author butterfly2011 Posted April 5, 2011 Author Share Posted April 5, 2011 so after that text from him, i ignored of course, I tooka lunch break, filled my gas tank up, and went clothes shopping. Bought new stuff for ME. During my lunch he text again: "So you dont want to talk to me any longer?" Does he remember how I apologized for what happened which wasnt that huge of a deal, no cheating or nothing like that, and tried my hardest to get him to come home for the past week and a half? Does he remember how bad he treated me? So I deserve just a text or two. WOW IRISH LOVE - Yeah when I called on Sunday he answered and said "who is this" to me.... OUCH... but I am not responding to his little texts. I will defintely ask again if he says he really misses me... or I may just have something to say like, then come home and leave it at that. Link to post Share on other sites
xbexy87x Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 It looks like a breadcrumb, butterfly...... I just tried this last week. They don't want anything. It just boosts their esteem to hear from you. PLEASE DON"T GO FOR IT. I wish I could turn back time. DONT DO IT. What does breadcrumbs mean? I see it alot around the threads! Butterfly, keep at it with the NC unless he starts to annoy you then maybe tell him why you arn't responding i.e want to move on etc. So what actually happened? Did you just start NC when you hadnt heard from him and not tell him? :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Author butterfly2011 Posted April 5, 2011 Author Share Posted April 5, 2011 No - we has an argument and I told him to leave. The next day I ignored him, but I thought he wuold just come back home as he said he was. Well after that I tried to talk to him, apologized , etc...showed up at the shop he has his car at to talk. He said he wanted to work things out....but then he put me last on his list and never did anything about it.. So i kept bugging of course , us women with our mouths... then he said look I want to work things out but we really need to sit and talk things through. I was all for that of course, but he said tomorrow. WOW , I want to be first and instead he has been putting everyone and everything before me, so of course I got upset. well I told him that I was not playing his game any longer and that if this is what he wanted, he wouldnt hear from me anymore. That was Sunday night and I haven't text, called, nothing... he is now trying to contact me. But really I am hurt over the way he has been treating me this way. We had an argument, lets talk it through already. Link to post Share on other sites
xbexy87x Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 Aha ok maybe he will come round. Give it time but try and stay with NC.. course its going to hurt its still fresh but like people said it will get easier over time. I say this and im trying to do this myself! Link to post Share on other sites
Movingthrough Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 If you honestly think something can happen between you two then go ahead. If your asking someone who has been on these boards and been through it, then no. Hes wondering why (like you said) he hasnt heard from you. Well, thats because it didnt work out, so you may be setting yourself up for failure again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author butterfly2011 Posted April 5, 2011 Author Share Posted April 5, 2011 Ok I failed NC because I thought he was ready but nope...breadcrumbs....but hey...Im ok cause I got to say what I wanted and leave it at that..... Now NC and this time I feel better about it and I think it is time to move on without the thought that he will come back. I can envision myself with someone who makes me feel alot better than this fool is doing. Loser! Thank you all for your support.... I wasnt strong enough to not text him back.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sheppy99 Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 After going through it for months and 110 percent over my ex thanks to NC, so much so that I"m actually friends with her now and hang out with her, I've realized a few things. When the break up happens and you go to NC. The only message you should consider is ones that clearly indicate reconciliation. Any other message of "Hey" or "guess you don't want to talk to me anymore " is just as others have said, completely for their own self needs. These messages have no benefit for you, they are simply to make themselves feel better that you're still upset over them and waiting for them. When you convey those feelings to them that you are still upset over them, that gives them security and a self esteem boost and they'll go right back to ignoring you completely. Don't keep eating the breadcrumbs, you deserve the full meal. Complete NC forces them to make up their mind and not keep toying with you for their own personal gain. If they come back to you, great, if they don't, they weren't for you anyways. I hope that somewhat helps the next time you receive a text and you wonder what the purpose is behind it. Link to post Share on other sites
kingofhearts Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 Ok I failed NC because I thought he was ready but nope...breadcrumbs....but hey...Im ok cause I got to say what I wanted and leave it at that..... Now NC and this time I feel better about it and I think it is time to move on without the thought that he will come back. I can envision myself with someone who makes me feel alot better than this fool is doing. Loser! Thank you all for your support.... I wasnt strong enough to not text him back.... Damn. Sorry to hear that. I'm still in limbo too and I keep breaking NC as well. It just breaks your effin heart aaaaaaaaaaaalllllll over again. I want to just sit down with her and ask her "why?" She avoids all talks about us though.....sigh...... Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 If you want to communicate with your ex, say what you want from them. Be precise, clear and honest. For instance: "I'm open to trying for reconciliation and seeing if we can resolve the problems that led to us splitting up. If you are too, let's meet somewhere public at the weekend to discuss. Otherwise, no more small talk, please." Link to post Share on other sites
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