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Dumped after 4.5 years relationship. needed.


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Hello Everyone,

 

Well here goes, my girlfriend of 4.5 years has dumped on 2/1/11. We had a fight (small) that i guess triggered some feelings and questioned our future together. Apparently, she feels that she doesn't see me taking this relationship in the direction she wants - meaning, marriage, kids etc. So, she decided that it would be "best for the both" of us to move on. She said she still loves me and all that but even after I tried to tell we should make thing right, she kept firm on her stance.

 

We never really had a major fight in our 4+ years together and we spent so much time together. I mean, we did everything together. This whole break up caught me by surprise. She seriously flipped like a light switch. I thought after this last fight we would work through it but apparently that's not the case.

 

After the bomb dropped on me I initiated no contact at all for 2 weeks. We didn't text, call or anything. Then, after the 2 week NC, I sent her flowers for VDAY (this was arranged prior to break up and I decided against cancelling). She receives the flowers and texted me:

 

Her - "Thanks for the roses! They are beautiful".

Me - "You are welcome. I'm glad you liked them"

 

Me - "Would you like to grab some coffee or something later today?"

Her - "Sorry, but I have class tonight. Thanks for the invite though."

Me - "Okay, I guess whenever you're available then."

 

These were the last words we communicated which was on VDAY.

 

I'm still in no contact since I'm hoping she'll start to miss me or something and make contact but I'm not sure if this is the way handle this. I want her back!! After 4.5 years this fight/issue can be worked out and I feel that the relationship is still repairable.

 

Am I doing the right thing by doing NC for a while?

 

What steps should I take to try to work things out?

 

Your advice is greatly needed and appreciated. Thanks!

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Balls in her court by the looks of it. You sent her the flowers and by what she said in reply it doesn't look good my friend. She didn't and hasn't followed up with an alternative time to meet. It's been nearly 2 months now I'm assuming. Hey you have put the olive branch in her lap, I would go NC definitely and hope that maybe she will contact you, but try to live your life and build from now, it doesn't look like she is thinking of coming back at the moment.

 

Good luck.

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Actually it's only been a little more than 3 1/2 weeks since the break up. This Monday will be another 2 weeks of NC since the flowers pretty much broke NC on VDAY.

 

Your right though, the olive branch was placed on her lap. Any suggestions on how to take over control?

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Okay, Ollie76, how long have you known she's been frustrated with the situation and wanting to get married/have kids?

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Maybe the last 6 months or so. She's in school right now (she 26 and I'm 33) and wanted to talk more serious about this until after she graduates. I always told her that I was in this relationship to the fullest. I'm 33, I'm over the dating scene and the relationship I was in I was in it to win it. Maybe not right now, but after she finishes school and all that which would be a couple years from now (she's in grad school). I want to contact her so bad to either work things out or put closure to this. but thinking that NC would work I have stopped myself.

 

What should I do??

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