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(ex)boyfriend keeps telling me he loves me and misses me..

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Old 7th February 2011, 10:57 AM   #1
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(ex)boyfriend keeps telling me he loves me and misses me..

Iīm confused. Iīve posted here a while ago about an issue related to this topic so I wonīt do the whole story again, but for those of you who havenīt seen me here before Iīll do the short version.

My BF and I live in total opposites of the world. Weīve been together for 2,5 years (1,5 year of that was long distance). I just got back home to my country from living together with him in his country for a year. We had an awesome time, we never fight, weīre so comfortable with each other. Iīve never been this happy with anyone and we both love each other increadibly.

A couple of weeks before I had to go back home I started noticing him being very distant and didnīt wanna be intimate or cuddly with me. Asked him if anything was wrong and he just said "no, nothingīs wrong". A few days before I had to go back home he dropped the bomb and said that he canīt go through this LDR thing again cause itīs so hard, and heīs got a new job coming up. He wanted me to go on with my life and heīll do the same, "but maybe we can get back together when my job finishes" he said (itīs a somewhat temporary job). And he also said that he doesnīt want me to sit around and wait for him cause he didnīt have any plans on coming to my country now.


Soo... Iīve been home for 3 weeks now and Iīve had the hardest time ever. Iīm trying to change my mindset and only think of him as a friend, even though I donīt want to. Heīs the love of my life, I would do anything for him and I have, but it seems like he didnīt appreciate that. The thing is, I donīt wanna keep my hopes up, as he said I shouldnīt sit around and wait for him to maybe come to my country..

Weīve had quite a lot of contact, almost every day, since I left. During my 40 hr journey home he sent me so many texts, telling me how much he misses me and how weird it felt to go to bed without me by his side.
He texts me now saying how much he loves me and how he wishes I was there with him, cuddling up in bed etc. He always calls me "babe", "baby girl" and "darling" in his texts, and why does he send this stuff when he was the one who didnīt wanna go on with the relationship? Besides all the cute stuff he writes we also do random conversations, about what we been up to lately and so on.

For some reason I feel like he wants his cake but to eat it too, if you know what i mean. The stupid thing is that I get so happy and excited every time my phone beeps, and when I see itīs from him I get even more happy and I get filled with hope again. I try not to text him too much (even though i would like to send him texts all day long..), I donīt wanna be up in his face cause I know he needs to miss me.

What does he want??
Yeahsussu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th February 2011, 3:22 PM   #2
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what does he want? exactly what u said - to have his cake and eat it too.

look, i've been in an extremely similar situation to you. he moved to his home country to join the army, said we could get back together when he got back, even though i would have done the ldr with him.

then when he left, i cut my losses, having been hurt by his refusal to be in a rel with me. he started sending me soppy texts then, calling me babe etc.

it's a bunch of crap, he obviously doesn't feel ur worth a LDR, and yet he wants ur emotional support. that's not fair. either insist on an LDR or no contact. my story didn't end prettily.
Love of my life, you've hurt me. You've broken my heart and now you leave me.
- Freddie Mercury
CailinPig is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th February 2011, 3:52 PM   #3
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I think you need to ask him exactly what he wants? It's not fair to just keep you hanging on. I guess then, you need to make the decision that's best for you. It sounds like he still really likes you, but you need to decide between you if this is to go further or not.
Good luck
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Old 8th February 2011, 1:02 PM   #4
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Thanks heaps for reading and for giving me your your thoughts about this.

We both love each other deeply, thatīs why I got so chocked when he said he couldnīt go through with the LDR again. When we had the talk I asked him if weīre going to be together when I got back home and he said "probably not". I took that as a no. Thatīs why Iīm so confused, why does he send me texts like this then if he didnīt wanna be together...

I do wanna talk to him and ask him why he is sending me texts like this considering what he said when we had the talk. But Iīm scared Iīm gonna make things worse. I do wanna be together with him, and Iīm afraid that if I ask him about all this Iīm gonna scare him away. At the same time Iīm trying to keep my distance to all of this.. Am I doing the right thing? :/
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