Yeahsussu Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 I´m confused. I´ve posted here a while ago about an issue related to this topic so I won´t do the whole story again, but for those of you who haven´t seen me here before I´ll do the short version. My BF and I live in total opposites of the world. We´ve been together for 2,5 years (1,5 year of that was long distance). I just got back home to my country from living together with him in his country for a year. We had an awesome time, we never fight, we´re so comfortable with each other. I´ve never been this happy with anyone and we both love each other increadibly. A couple of weeks before I had to go back home I started noticing him being very distant and didn´t wanna be intimate or cuddly with me. Asked him if anything was wrong and he just said "no, nothing´s wrong". A few days before I had to go back home he dropped the bomb and said that he can´t go through this LDR thing again cause it´s so hard, and he´s got a new job coming up. He wanted me to go on with my life and he´ll do the same, "but maybe we can get back together when my job finishes" he said (it´s a somewhat temporary job). And he also said that he doesn´t want me to sit around and wait for him cause he didn´t have any plans on coming to my country now. ** Soo... I´ve been home for 3 weeks now and I´ve had the hardest time ever. I´m trying to change my mindset and only think of him as a friend, even though I don´t want to. He´s the love of my life, I would do anything for him and I have, but it seems like he didn´t appreciate that. The thing is, I don´t wanna keep my hopes up, as he said I shouldn´t sit around and wait for him to maybe come to my country.. We´ve had quite a lot of contact, almost every day, since I left. During my 40 hr journey home he sent me so many texts, telling me how much he misses me and how weird it felt to go to bed without me by his side. He texts me now saying how much he loves me and how he wishes I was there with him, cuddling up in bed etc. He always calls me "babe", "baby girl" and "darling" in his texts, and why does he send this stuff when he was the one who didn´t wanna go on with the relationship? Besides all the cute stuff he writes we also do random conversations, about what we been up to lately and so on. For some reason I feel like he wants his cake but to eat it too, if you know what i mean. The stupid thing is that I get so happy and excited every time my phone beeps, and when I see it´s from him I get even more happy and I get filled with hope again. I try not to text him too much (even though i would like to send him texts all day long..), I don´t wanna be up in his face cause I know he needs to miss me. What does he want?? Link to post Share on other sites
CailinPig Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 what does he want? exactly what u said - to have his cake and eat it too. look, i've been in an extremely similar situation to you. he moved to his home country to join the army, said we could get back together when he got back, even though i would have done the ldr with him. then when he left, i cut my losses, having been hurt by his refusal to be in a rel with me. he started sending me soppy texts then, calling me babe etc. it's a bunch of crap, he obviously doesn't feel ur worth a LDR, and yet he wants ur emotional support. that's not fair. either insist on an LDR or no contact. my story didn't end prettily. Link to post Share on other sites
sammyd Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 I think you need to ask him exactly what he wants? It's not fair to just keep you hanging on. I guess then, you need to make the decision that's best for you. It sounds like he still really likes you, but you need to decide between you if this is to go further or not. Good luck:) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Yeahsussu Posted February 8, 2011 Author Share Posted February 8, 2011 Thanks heaps for reading and for giving me your your thoughts about this. We both love each other deeply, that´s why I got so chocked when he said he couldn´t go through with the LDR again. When we had the talk I asked him if we´re going to be together when I got back home and he said "probably not". I took that as a no. That´s why I´m so confused, why does he send me texts like this then if he didn´t wanna be together... I do wanna talk to him and ask him why he is sending me texts like this considering what he said when we had the talk. But I´m scared I´m gonna make things worse. I do wanna be together with him, and I´m afraid that if I ask him about all this I´m gonna scare him away. At the same time I´m trying to keep my distance to all of this.. Am I doing the right thing? :/ Link to post Share on other sites
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