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Will I ever reach indifference?


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If you've read my story, you know that my ex dumped me cruelly. Even though I was a good girlfriend. Yet everyone still took his side and now I have to start from scatch again. He poisoned everyone and everyone shunned me. So to make it hardrer I've lost friends aswell. I feel stuck and still think about revenge alot.

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*hugs* I have nothing to say except, be strong. Better things will come. things are going to be ok. Wish I had something insightful to say.

 

Well actually, lemme try a bit. Yes, you will reach a point of indifference if you try to do the right things, which is force yourself not to dwell. Do not replay the dumping conversation again and again, do not try to dissect what went wrong, do not try to analyze. Accept that he is gone. Acceptance is the first step. Accept that you cannot change the past but you can choose to live in the present. Accept that you now are a single woman. And try to enjoy that. Try to have a good day, one day at a time. :-)

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I found I got to that point when I had my own life as the center focus. It took time... I had to forget the future dreams I had with 'us'. Now when I look forward instead of seeing 'us' I see me.

 

It's going to take time either way. As time goes on, life goes on and takes you in new directions. Well, it will so long as you're open to it. Moping around the house for the next 3 months isn't going to help.

 

I was torn up for a good month after the breakup. But I tried my hardest to not let that stop me doing things. Even if I wasn't totally in the mood, I'd just say 'yes' to every opportunity that came up.

 

If he was able to turn those people so easily then they weren't worth keeping around anyway. That's easier for me to say than it is for you to hear I know. I lost friends as well but that just goes with the whole BS mess that is a breakup.

 

Try not to think of revenge. Think of yourself as the bigger person. The chick that's going to have a great life and sucks to be them that they don't get to be a part of it. You absolutly will get to a point where you couldn't care less about them. In time, but you will. Just keep that in mind.

 

If you want to lash out, that's what LS is for. :)

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If you've read my story, you know that my ex dumped me cruelly. Even though I was a good girlfriend. Yet everyone still took his side and now I have to start from scatch again. He poisoned everyone and everyone shunned me. So to make it hardrer I've lost friends aswell. I feel stuck and still think about revenge alot.

 

I wouldn't be indifferent to somebody treating me like that....and if I had the opportunity to confront other people about their shoddy behaviour in shunning me as a result of things somebody else had said to them, I would take it. I would confront them with their behaviour and, to a certain extent, berate them for it.

 

I don't believe in revenge being a dish best served cold. When you seize an opportunity to take revenge on somebody you're giving out a message to other people not to mess with you - but you're also giving them a message that they shouldn't trust or get close to you.

 

I do, however, believe that confronting people about behaviour that hurt you is a dish best served cold....ie when you feel in control of yourself and your emotions. Concentrate not on attaining indifference (which is a passionless, pointless state of existence for anybody to be in) but on attaining emotional control. That way, when the opportunity to finally give some of these ****ers a piece of your mind comes along, you'll use it well and express yourself in a measured way without turning into an emotional wreck in the process. Good luck!

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I went through that whole i want revenge for making me suffer like this thing. It'll pass.. remember you just have to be the bigger person. Revenge just brings you down to their level, and ultimately hurts you more than it hurts them.

Edited by marqueemoon4
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