Owz600 Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 I had to, do I regret it? I'm not sure, I am worrying. What will she think? But I couldn't handle it anymore after seeing her facebook profile which I was stalking, I was seeing comments I didn't want, it was driving my mind insane. I love this girl and want her back so bad, but when you look on facebook and see them doing better than you are it makes you hurt. I feel sick in the stomach. Maybe now I can begin to seriously heal. Link to post Share on other sites
Leandro Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 You've taken a big step today. Removing her will help you a lot. Make sure you blocked her too. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 PegNosePete likes this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Owz600 Posted January 11, 2011 Author Share Posted January 11, 2011 Should I send her a email saying 'I unfriended you due to having to make steps to healing' or something along those lines, or should I not say anything? Link to post Share on other sites
Leandro Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 you don't need to say a thing. She doesn't need to know anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Owz600 Posted January 11, 2011 Author Share Posted January 11, 2011 Im sorry but I had to sent her a email, it was short and polite and just said 'I need to cut ties with you to heal and move on, maybe in the future we will be friends'. I feel better now and have no guilt, at least now I know she will understand why I did it. I can now finally move on. exciting times. Link to post Share on other sites
Leandro Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 well nothing you can do now. Just stick to NC and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 You didnt send the email for her, you sent it for yourself because you want to get some sort of response from her. Maybe you thought it would hurt her, maybe you thought she see you unfriended her and go geez why would he do that, I need some sort of explanation. You took a big step in removing her from your friends list, I suggest even if she replies not to answer back. You've broken up and maybe she has moved on, you must too, it's understandable a part of you wants her back like crazy but you must be strong, playing the pathetic hanger on is not going to endear you to her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Owz600 Posted January 11, 2011 Author Share Posted January 11, 2011 You are all right that that the email was not needed, but it was my final goodbye, I can now move on with no regrets. If she responds I will not reply, I will not be used as a door mat. Thank you guys. This forum has given me so much strength. Link to post Share on other sites
Good Arms Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Well done on defriending, that's a big step. I know it's a hard one to take, it took me a while to get there, and I saw things I didn't want to see first. Best to block her too just to make sure you don't see anything by mistake. Maybe the email wasn't needed, but I don't think you sent it for yourself. It was short and to the point and was an act of kindness/consideration, as you were the reluctant dumper after all, and shows her you've accepted you want to move on and you're not bitter. I don't see it as trying to provoke a response from her. I thought about doing the same, having been dumped, but after weeks of NC I was worried it would be seen as me reaching out. It shouldn't matter, I owe her NOTHING now, but I don't want my ex to think I removed/blocked her out of hatred. But I'm sure she understands I did it to move on without the need to be told. I think your message showed some class, and reflects that you're a decent person. As long as it's seen as a final goodbye then I don't see the problem. There are far worse ways that you could have prolonged contact. Just make sure you stick to NC from this moment on. Link to post Share on other sites
Karma20 Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Good for you. I do agree you should block her too. As far as the email goes, I think I might of done that too if I was you. As long as you feel better about the situation then that's all that matters, who cares about the steps you had to take to get to this point. Hopefully now you can stick to NC and begin to heal. Good luck and stay strong. Link to post Share on other sites
deadhead88 Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Nice work. I have done the same. You must block her as well. Especially if you have mutual friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Ajax Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 I defriended my ex a little over a week ago after 4 months of NC. The only reason I had kept her on for so long is that I was hoping she would reach out to me, but she wasn't. Time to cut the cord. When I defriended her I didn't send a message, but I've had second thoughts about the whole thing. Will she think I'm bitter... will it stop her from ever trying to contact me... etc... At the end of the day we do what we need to do. They did what they needed to do by dumping us. We did what we needed to do by blocking them. Link to post Share on other sites
DellPickle Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Ive done it and it felt great...it was I guess as being the dumpee the only way I could get any sort of last word and closure....it was mostly because we had so many mutual friends and even with her hidden from news feeds and such it was hard to not see her come up...part of it was because of how I felt, the other part was how she took our "friendship" for granted...she rarely responded when I made contact, and I usually responded when she made contact...so I stopped making contact...eventually after an important message I sent and got no response I decided to defriend her...she sent me a message asking why and I just politely explained the situation that her and I can stop pretending because we arent friends because she showed no traits of what a friend has to me, I decided to cut the ultimate symbolic tie of friendship...and that was facebook...it felt good, she never responded after that Link to post Share on other sites
Gironbachs Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 I defriended my ex a little over a week ago after 4 months of NC. The only reason I had kept her on for so long is that I was hoping she would reach out to me, but she wasn't. Time to cut the cord. When I defriended her I didn't send a message, but I've had second thoughts about the whole thing. Will she think I'm bitter... will it stop her from ever trying to contact me... etc... At the end of the day we do what we need to do. They did what they needed to do by dumping us. We did what we needed to do by blocking them. This is exactly me. I did as a New Year's Resolution after 4 months NC. I too, have a tad of regret, as I'm also worried she'll think I'm bitter and that perhaps this will keep her from calling. Although I'm thinking rationally, some days are still really, really hard and it takes a lot not to reach out and break NC. I know that wouldn't change anything, and neither would an email clarifying how not bitter Iam. But it still hurts really bad - which is why I can't break NC - I would look pathetic. I guess if they really wanted to contact, some facebook issue wouldn't stop them Link to post Share on other sites
lee123 Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 You didnt send the email for her, you sent it for yourself because you want to get some sort of response from her. Maybe you thought it would hurt her, maybe you thought she see you unfriended her and go geez why would he do that, I need some sort of explanation. You took a big step in removing her from your friends list, I suggest even if she replies not to answer back. You've broken up and maybe she has moved on, you must too, it's understandable a part of you wants her back like crazy but you must be strong, playing the pathetic hanger on is not going to endear you to her. Yeah i'v done this myself. You send email in hope of contact. The best way is NC. It hurts like hell, but it does get better. I'm healed after 3 months, and i only went out with her not for long :/. Although i'v got other love problems now. Link to post Share on other sites
kayla748 Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 I just did the same thing to the girl I've liked for 6 years (and she's known for 4 yrs). She seemed to like me, but unsure of herself. She said last year we weren't friends anymore, and only wanted to be co-workers. Lately, she kept telling me a bunch of BS about guys she liked...when I didnt respond to the comment on the first one, she tried it about another one. This time it made my blood boil, and I told her to just ask him out. I respected her, she didn't respect me. It hurt, and a few tears were shed, but I sent her a message as well, explaining. Unfortunately, we do work together, so I still see her...but we don't see each others stuff on FB anymore. Since I creeped on her frequently, its a good step forward. I congratulate you for doing it, OP. Link to post Share on other sites
richbad08 Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 Its not fun or easy but you just sometimes have to delete them for your own good. Unfortunately my ex deleted me and I didn't notice because I hardly went to her profile because i didn't want to see what was on there. Ironically she added me. She'll see your being the bigger person and thats really the mature thing to do. Be strong and meet new people. Link to post Share on other sites
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