Everything Lost.....6 years.....

[sooobroken]

I have been looking everywhere for answers.....there are always the ones that give you hope and the ones that tell you straight up. I am feeling miserable today. I am trying to look for and find happiness, but its not happening. I miss my girlfriend that broke up with me, more than anything in the world and want to fix it. I have read many posts on here, and felt that this was the best place to get help and answers. So here is my story.

 

Me and my girlfriend have been together for 6 years. She officially broke up with me on the 14th of December. I am 26 now and this is the first relationship that i have been in. My father has been going through a divorce going back to court for the 6 years that i was with her. English is my fathers second language so i was always needing to help out in communicating and preparing paperwork for him to the attorneys. She disliked that i had to be involved with my fathers problems and that I was sacrificing my life. She felt this way because i had to quit school my last year in college because the divorce happened and i haven't been back for the last 6 years. I finally have gotten the message she was trying to get to me. I had just ignored her indirect messages and always argued with her for saying things about my family. I really regret this. I in turn stopped talking to her to help my dad prepare for court. I ignored her calls after we got into an argument about me helping my dad again and her stating that its a cycle that won't end.

 

I went to court with my dad, and everything was now over. I called my girlfriend to tell her what happened and she said to stop calling, and that she wanted to move on. I was lost, and dumbfounded. I was at work and just dropped everything and drove to her work. I waited outside for her.....right as she saw me, she went back inside. She eventually came out and said why are you here? please leave. I told her that we needed to talk. She said that there was nothing to talk about and to leave. I said i'm really confused and we need to talk. She said that she would call me, so to please leave. So i left and started thinking thoughts of taking my life because i was so devastated. Well she eventually called and said that its over, because she was thinking about everything such as the time i had cheated on her, religious differences, and my family problems. I told her that everything was on its way to being over with family issues, and that everything else could be worked out.

 

She stated all of a sudden, that none of that mattered, and that it was none of those things but her.I did all of this out of desperation, and she told me that if i kept crying she wouldn't talk to me. I stopped crying, and i told her that i understood. I asked her to do one last thing, and that was to meet me in person, look into my eyes and tell me that it was really truly over. She said she didn't want to, but i got her to agree. The next morning i met her in front of target. I was waiting in my car, and right as she saw me she had the biggest smile on her face. I was so confused and not understanding what was going on. I got out of the car and walked over. She said that she was going to stay in the car just so i wouldn't try something. (I have never been violent or crazy, I was so confused with this.) Either way i opened her door, and told her to say it. She was smiling and happy the entire time, and she says of course i love you and care about you, how do you expect me to say something otherwise? I am so lost and frustrated because of this. I had to call her in the first place to find out we were broken up, on top of her being so happy to see me. Is the relationship really over? I don't want it to be......what can I do? I'm wasting money on E-Books, and havent been sleeping or eating right. I don't know what to do. Everyday it gets harder and i can't seem to take my mind off of her. It has been 3 weeks, my friends have tried cheering me up, such as taking me to strip clubs, and drinking. None of this is helping me......it makes me want her more.....I haven't spoken to her for 1 week......

 

The other thing is, she is great friends with my sister. How does that affect No Contact???? Is my sister filling my ex girlfriends space that i used to be a part of????

 

Again thank everyone for their support....

[D78]

sooobroken,

I'm sorry you're going through this. Your ex was not good at communicating with you, and she didn't support you as you helped your father through his divorce.

You mentioned that you cheated on her - this can be a deal breaker. I'm not sure if your relationship was good after that point...? Do you think that might be why she left?

It might help to ask your sister to not talk to you about your ex, and not talk to your ex about you. That way, if the ex wants information she can come to you for it. And, you can begin to push your ex out of your life in order to get over her. I doubt your sister is filling your place in your ex's life. She's probably just being a friend to her.

I can't help but think that a strip club is not the best way to get over a girlfriend. I can see how it would make you want her more.

As long as your ex is going to play games, all you can do is make yourself a better person, leave her alone, and make a life for yourself without her.

[All these things I've learned from reading the LS posts. I can see you have read them to and I hope they help you as much as they have helped me. Good luck.]

[nocoast]

Your not alone, brother. I think everyone here has felt the same way you have (I know I have).

 

I'm a stranger, but believe me, it does get better. First it will be a couple hours, then maybe a day, then a couple days. The bad days come back but you just got to believe that the good ones will come too.

 

Focus on yourself. Try and make yourself better. Do things you like to do. Write in a journal (My favorite).

 

For me, the hardest thing to do but the best thing for my sanity is NC. You got to stick to it. Also, as hard as it sounds and its a struggle, give up hope. I'm still struggling with it, but when you hope, you can't let go.