Breaking up and breaking plans

[NeNinja]

My breakup is fairly recent. So here is a question for those of you with a little more time between today and D-day?

 

What is the status of a plan made before the breakup? I know there isn't any logical reason for her to be upset with me for not honoring the plans but a lot of what happens during/after a breakup isn't logical.

 

One specific example: When I was little my family and I would pick up a pizza and drive around and look at Christmas lights. I told her about this one night before last Christmas and we made plans to do it ourselves a few nights later. We didn't (my fault) and I didn't think it was a big deal we had a big fight a month or so later and she brought it up.

 

The first week of December we made plans to do it this year. We picked out the pizza place, the neighborhoods we wanted to drive through, I'm pretty sure she had even went out and bought new pajamas to drive around in. Then we broke up.

 

I know the holidays are hard for her. Her dad passed away two years ago on New Years Eve. I don't want to add an stress to her life but I also want to be there for her if thats what she wants/needs.

 

Should I try to honor the plan? Should I hint at it? Or continue NC and pretend like it didn't/wasn't going to happen.

[poorguy]

Nooooo...don't even think about honoring those plans. Continue with NC

[Capital P]

thats not what she needs, its what YOU need.

But it ain gonna happen, go NC and wait til she contacts

[WTRanger]

If she wanted you there, she wouldn't have broken up with you. When you cancel your cable TV, do you still want the cable company to transmit the signal and bill you for it? Same deal here. Those plans were broken when your relationship stopped. You cannot, for any reason, be there for her unless you two are actually together again. Do NOT fall into the trap of being "friends" this soon.