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My ex has blocked me


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She was 18 years, and im a bit older. She was my first love, and i was hers. I cant describe how much she loved me, as she sustained so much ****, in the form of me being nervous, and obssessed about knowing her past, and too clingy. So it ended. I stalked her for 4 months, sending like 20 emails, standing infront of her doors in the end, until finally she said she was afraid of me and i let her be. She was very tolerable the first 2 weeks though, answering my phone calls. During these 4 months of stalking i had got a new girlfriend withing a month of breaking up which she knew through facebook, but i still stalked my ex telling her we could be friends etc I had also flirted with her classmate, and accidentally logging into msn 6 months after the break upsaying i was loving my new girlfriend(second girlfried after the break up)

 

 

I sent a face book message to her after 5 months without contact since the stalking stopped telling her ive been with other girls and she was the best out of them, but i cant turn time back. No answer, and block. Now 9 months has passed since that facebook block and like 16 months since the break up, and ivnt contacted her even a single time, and im still blocked. Ive seen her once on the bar, just having eye contact, nothing more.

 

Not that i want to get her back, ive like gotten over her, but will i be blocked forever on facebook? Even in 10 years, the block will remain? I will feel a bit sorry, for her feeling so, and i regret my doings now when i think back.

 

I know im her first love relationship, and i read somewhere that you never forget your first love. In a poll 85% answered they still had feelings. But considering how bad ive treated, i assume it has eradicated everything, and she doesnt feel anything when thinking about me, but can still remember things by remembering back. Am i right?

Edited by hardlover
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EDIT:

I've just re-read your post, seems I didn't get the gist of it, first time.

 

I don't blame her for her actions.

If it had been me, I would have had you arrested.

Leave her alone!

Any good memories she may have had of you, were completely destroyed by your stalking behaviour! no wonder she doesn't want you around!

Edited by TaraMaiden
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I would take a hard look at yourself man.

 

Your obsessing over her is a bit troubling. Have you considered talking to a counselor? I still get a strong sense of your obsessive thinking in your post.

 

There are easier ways to live man. You need to learn to focus your energy and thinking on healthier things.

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She's blocked you. Standard and correct behaviour.

She may never want you back in her life; people react in different ways, and take different times to get over things.

 

Everyone has memories.

It's not the memories that are the problem. It's how people are affected by them, that is the problem.

you may look back and see it as all wonderful.

She may look back and see it as all dreadful.

 

If she's blocked you - accept it.

Move on and leave things alone.

She has....

 

Here i will help you with some more information:

When she saw me logging in into msn, with a screen name that told i was loving a new girl, she immediately blocked and deleted me, she didnt know i was still in her contact list. Had two msn. This would signal; that she doesnt want anything to do with me

 

 

And when i saw her in the bar like 2 months ago, she saw me at the bottom level sitting at a table talking with two girls. SHe walked by very fast, not looking at my direction. This should tell, that she associate me with bad feelings, maybe hatred, or that im a disgustful person.

 

But still i was her first live, she loved me like hell. Like a very happy ending with a terrible ending, where i stalked her, and she had to become afraid of me :o

 

Its true, no one knows how she interpret everything. I dunno, but would it help you if i told you that she has extremely high empathy in general..? My analysis is that she perceives me as:

 

an idiot, for sending 20 emails, flirting with her friend, not saying hello to her friends anymore, so that all her friends are cold against me, and it all ended up with her mother sending me to the psych. She had turned off the phone for like 2 months, and used a temporary cell phone number which i didnt know of.

 

So im sure she think im an emotional tornado, weird, and not the person the thought i was, since i showed so many new sides after the break up

 

If that is her perception, will the faceblock blockage remain forever? Or will she always, even in 10 years, see back, and see that she was in love with an idiot, it was nice, but he was such an idiot.

Edited by hardlover
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EDIT:

I've just re-read your post, seems I didn't get the gist of it, first time.

 

I don't blame her for her actions.

If it had been me, I would have had you arrested.

Leave her alone!

Any good memories she may have had of you, were completely destroyed by your stalking behaviour! no wonder she doesn't want you around!

 

nice. Ive aspergers so i really have a hard time trying to figure out how other people feel. Thats why im asking out here.

 

Ive to use logical reasoning to understand. So if ive understood this correctly:

 

 

stalking behaviour= she perceives me in a new manner.

 

 

she perceives me as someone not caring for her, only doing what he wants, is scary, weird etc.

 

 

But then people tell me that time will heal all wounds. But i think this is not wounds, this is about her new perception of me, which will last, unless she shart to hang out with me again(which is impossible, she wont give me a chance)

 

 

dont misjudge me guys. Im just trying to understand how she feels and think about me, and it will be easier for me to feel understanding for her behaviour and not be bitter, melancoholy etc..

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leave her alone....

 

 

OMG Ive leaved her alone for 9 months. And have absolutely no wishes to make contact. Rather, i dont go out anymore, if i do, i go to other clubs i know she wont go to, dont like to hang out in the city... pls read the text.

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OMG Ive leaved her alone for 9 months. And have absolutely no wishes to make contact. Rather, i dont go out anymore, if i do, i go to other clubs i know she wont go to, dont like to hang out in the city... pls read the text.

 

hardlover,

 

I will make this simple.

 

Yes she will keep you blocked forever.

 

Accept it and move on. Why are you even thinking (obsessing) about her 9 months later?

 

I knew a guy with Asperger's, so I understand and sympathize with you that it is hard to read people. Even from the way you write about her here, I can see how she perceives you as frightening and her mother was so concerned that she sent you to a psychologist.

 

Your thinking right now is not healthy and I would consider getting help. Especially if you were stalking her.

 

Instead of dwelling in the past you need to focus on how you can make yourself better - with a healthier mindset for your next relationship.

 

Turn the energy around and start doing positive things for yourself man.

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I think that how bad u act after breakup determines how long you need to go back to normal with that person.

If you spend 2 weeks begging it will most likely take over 3 months.

 

The amount of time you spent being wierd i woul honestly say it will take 3-5 years until she can re connet with you on a friendship level.

 

You need to just back off this or every time u dont you will go back to the start of a 5 year period of waiting

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My first love left me a little over a month ago. I was her first love and we were together for a little over a year. I'm 20 and she is 16. Met in high school. I didn't beg her to take me back once. I rarely talked about the relationship in the very few conversations we had. I've been NC for 15 days now since she's dating someone else. I didn't say anything about the other guy to her. I want her to look back and see me as a man who gave her nothing but great memories, respected her decision to leave me and who didn't stalk her.

 

If you don't want to make contact with her why does it matter if she blocked you or not? Move on and learn from the mistakes you made after the break up.

 

She might have feelings for you still, but not the good ones. She might look back and see you as the biggest mistake of her life.

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hardlover,

 

I will make this simple.

 

Yes she will keep you blocked forever.

 

Accept it and move on. Why are you even thinking (obsessing) about her 9 months later?

 

I knew a guy with Asperger's, so I understand and sympathize with you that it is hard to read people. Even from the way you write about her here, I can see how she perceives you as frightening and her mother was so concerned that she sent you to a psychologist.

 

Your thinking right now is not healthy and I would consider getting help. Especially if you were stalking her.

 

Instead of dwelling in the past you need to focus on how you can make yourself better - with a healthier mindset for your next relationship.

 

Turn the energy around and start doing positive things for yourself man.

 

I understand that you guys feel the pain of her being stalked, and you guys feel a bit angry at me for still not getting over her.

 

 

Me not getting over her, is because ive aspergers, i dont get good chemistry with that many women. The chemistry with her was amazing, and ive met like 8 other girls after her, where it didnt click a single time.

 

 

Im just trying to understand how she feels, and if there is anything i can do to reach out to her and noot be perceived as the disgusting stalker, yet again not giving up.

 

I think its like hopeless, but looking at my past messages, they have been drawn out, like 500 + words each.

 

 

But how can i reach out to her heart? Maybe sending a short email:

 

 

"Im an idiot. i just want to tell you that i think im an idiot, and i really think so."

 

(this email is very different to my earlier emails, where i showed emotional dissaray,requesting things from her, being controlling etc, and ye, ive increased my social awareness so much of all this thinking, so i now know how to formulate myself, not showing these bad qualities, as i learnt how she read into things very well if i show anger,controlling,requeisting things,telling her ive changed,trying to argument with her, none of them will do it, however i deem this email be reckless nonetheless as well, taking it into the context that ive been stalking her, so im not 100% sure how she will perceive it, and im not taking the risk of her getting scared again,so im not sending it, but like to play with the thought)

 

 

 

 

i mean, sending this in email form. I shouldnt make her angry, right? She may start to think who sent it, ye maybe me, ye he is an idiot. good he acknowledges it.

 

 

since we think the same, she think we are on the same level, im not going on my own with my own plan,thinking. This message, is pureley telling her i know im an idiot,genuinely think so. In the past ive never respected her, not in my previous stalking either, this email, let her decide. I dont crave for anything, it may show ive changed.

 

Then, its important to not send anything more, and let her decide.

 

 

 

She may still be angry, and not forgive me, but it will increase the chances of her maybe sending an email in the future, saying hi, just to let me know, its ok now.

 

 

Ahh well. Still i dont have the nerve to send it. But im just playing with the thought....as im currently studying, and working, no time for girlfriend, so totally meaningless., but im a thinker, think all the time about anything, and think this question is intriguing. Even if i had a bowl telling me, this would make her more friendly towards me, i dont have the nerves. I think ive contacted her enough. 9 monhts have passed and she maybe has started to think im over her. I dont want to scare her again.

 

 

So its a hypothical question. And yes,i got adhd, aspergers, and a high iq, its a recipe for a brain that think about things all the time, i cant help it.

Edited by hardlover
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