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when do you give up?


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me again....

 

i feel like i'm at a crossroads right now, not sure what to do and i need an objective opinion.

 

anyone who's read any of my other posts knows i have an issue with insecurity, which i am working on. i feel much better about myself already, which is a huge relief.

 

as it stands with my guy, i get to see him on weekends. we talk every night, and it's usually him who calls me-he always beats me to it.

 

i love him. he canot tell me he loves me, though i feel like he does. he's very affectionate and whatnot. when we are together, there isn't a doubt in my mind that we belong together, we laugh and talk and genuinely enjoy each others company.

 

the problem i'm having right now is when we are not together, i feel pushed aside, i feel like i have little importance in his life, and i don't know if it's me, the relationship, or him thats making me feel this way.

 

i'm thinking right now maybe i need someone who'll be around more often. maybe i need someone who can show me point blank how important i am to him. but then i wonder-perhaps this is neediness brought on by insecurity.

 

i'm wondering if this is a situation where my needs aren't being met, but then i'm not sure. maybe the honeymoon period is over and i'm having a hard time adjusting?

 

also, this is a pattern for me.....i felt the same way about my ex and broke up with him at 8 months. my current boy and i have been together for 7.

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If he calls you every night, how is it that you feel pushed aside? If he can't be there with you, at least calling is the next best thing.

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i guess beacuse for the first four months we were inseperable...the past three have been some what of a transition, which i understand is normal.....

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Just because a guy does not tell you that he "loves you" does not mean that he does not care or have feelings for you. He may not be ready to go to that level yet. Telling someone you love them is a powerful statement and should only be said if you truly mean it. I just don't see where your needs are not being met. He calls, he's affectionate, you have fun together. It seems to me like you guys have a pretty good start on things. Good relationships take time. And they don't go as fast as we would like them to sometimes. Take care and enjoy your time together.

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What I would do is just to act like you can be without him...don't call him and just act like you don't care and you are out having the best time without him. I mean, don't bemean to him or anything, just act like it'd not bothering you if he doesn't call or doesn't show you affection or whatever the case may be. I mean, as long as he feels like he has you wrapped around his finger, he will continue to step on you and not think twice about it. And by giving in to him it's like you are saying, "Come on, baby, step on me...I don't care!!" I mean, just act like you don't give a damn, and he will come crawling back. And if he doesn't, screw him and find another fella.....

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