Jump to content

in it for the happyness


Recommended Posts

ok, here's a thought, i'm supose to be in it for the happyness. If i'm not happy get out right? What about him, after telling him twice yesterday that i think we should break up, i'm sure he's not happy. Or is he? Could it be he's just wipeing his brow going phew. or in actuality, and i know jon, he went home, went to bed, and didn't give it another thought. Jon doesn't worry about anything. Seriosly. I wish he would, becouse if he atleast would he might open up his eyes and go back to being affectionate.

 

I'm just so confused, and i'm tierd of crying. and no one can help me. i'm completely alone. T_T, why does this hurt so. why can't i just be like there's nothing wrong but this one thing, over look the stupid thing, and be happy. :( why? I hate emotions sometimes. I hate fear and doubt and uncertainty. I hate loveing him but thinking it's best if i leave him. I hate wanting to get my way. Am i being selfish? I just don't know. Sorry to cry in here.

 

vixen

Link to post
Share on other sites

sweetie, i feel your pain also. you're not alone. my boyfriend, Jon, doesn't seem to be much affectionate either. and yes, i've been contemplating "if i'm not happy...what's the point?".

*sigh*

i hate emotions sometimes too. i hate anxiousness the most. especially when i feel something bad coming upon me.

it hurts, i know. but hey, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger in the long run.

keep your chin up. things will get better sooner or later. time can work wonders :)

Link to post
Share on other sites

hey yall, seriously, you dont deserve to be this sad. if you get this sad over and over, you have spoken to him about it and nothing changes, get out. do it for yourself. you will find someone who wont make you this sad all the time. have faith in finding the one

Link to post
Share on other sites
I'm just so confused, and i'm tierd of crying. and no one can help me. i'm completely alone.

 

If his lack of affection is making you this upset, I really think you should move on. You are wasting a lot of time crying and being upset when you could be happy with another person. Relationships aren't supposed to make you cry! What's that saying? "The only man worth crying over is the one who won't make you cry." (Or something like that!)

 

If you are crying this much about it, it doesn't seem to be the kind of thing you can accept in your life. So why stay with it? Why not find someone who can give you what you want? It's not selfish to want certain characteristics out of a boyfriend. Jon may be better off with a woman who is cold and unemotional and unaffectionate, and you will surely be better off with a man who is affectionate.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

why am i so unspecial that jon wont be the way he was befor. why is it i cry all the time. why why. im so tierd of it. I can't belive i've lost his intrest so soon. he was affectionate, he was cuddly, he used to blow me kisses. T_T

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm sorry to be repetitive, but it really cuts me to the core when I see good women beat themselves up over guys who cannot be available for them.

 

You ladies should not be taking the problems you are having with the guys you care for, as judgements on your personal self-worths.

 

I've read both vixen's and sarah12385's cases, and I just can't see how these gals can put up with this self-inflicted emotional battering without completely losing their own self respect in the process.

 

It's so heartwarming (beautiful even, to a point) to see females so dedicated to a relationship. BUT...when it comes to the point that they cannot listen to their own voices that are telling them to get out...I think it's very troubling.

 

Is this not the same thing that happens to some girls when they get dumped ... it's taken personally ?

 

Girls, be loosened from those guys' emotional bondage chains around your ankles!!!

 

Curt

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

ok, so i called jon and had him come over after work. he came over striat away and i gathered up his stuff. He seemed realy sad, he said he'd be depressed. I told him i love him, he said he loved me too, and that he'd miss me to, but he wants me to be happy and i must do what's best for me. He didnt' cry or get upset, though i could tell he wanted to sometimes.

 

I told him if he ever woke up and relized he'd been a retard, to call me. Maybe we nead another 5 year hiatus like we had since high school. Perhaps we both nead more growing. I'll move on, he'll move one, I told him i was sorry and he said don't be. He loves me very much, and we wont loose each others emails.

 

This hurts so much, i've never dumped somebody i love befor. But i'm just so dang tierd of crying. To tierd.

 

vixen :bunny:

Link to post
Share on other sites

Vixen,

 

Know that I, for one, am so proud of you right now.

 

I also know that there are a lot of people here that feel the same way I do. They are a good bunch....warm, caring people.

 

I think I can speak for all of them when I say that we want you to be loved, happy, and appreciated by someone who truly deserves your heart.

 

It's going to hurt like hell for a while hunn, but, please know you HAVE done the right thing.

 

Unreturned love is the worst thing in the world, sweetie.

 

Stick to your guns, and chin up babe. We're here for ya anytime.

 

(Curt giving you a virtual hug for strength)

 

Curt

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

thank you curt, you have been a great deal of help, you and everyone in my life. I just can't help buy cry still. Jon wasn't a monster, far from it, he was just set in his ways. Odd for a 22 year old, but still, my mother says he's young, and has to much on his plate to have a proper girlfriend. I told him this and he seemed to agree. It hurts so friggin bad. Food taste like ****. my cat is so upset and affected by this. she sees me crying senses my distress and can't seem to cheer me no matter how hard she tried. Look at me, worring about the friggin cat! it's my own skin i nead to tend to. I'm so stupidly self sacrifiseing it's discusting. But i dumped him, for me, even though it hurts like hell. even though i feel so bad, becouse i love him so much. I can't save the world, im not wonderwomen. I'm not. Does wonderwomen cry?

Link to post
Share on other sites

I am far from knowing what a woman needs in a relationship so I am alot like Jon. I don't know why some men are the way we were. We hear the signals and the cry's for affection but we do nothing. I am in a similar relationship as you except I am the retard in my case. The relationship had been going bad for some time and my selfishness over the first 2.5 years caused a build up of sadness inside my girlfriend. Early on there were the warnings but she finally gave up and the resentment grew. I swear I never saw it coming. We are speaking but she is doing soul searching to determine if she can continue our relationship. It's been 2 of the worst days of my life since this happened. I now realize that all those little things meant alot to my girlfriend. I love her very much and have vowed to change and become the man she was in love with. I never hurt her intentionally but I did little by little. It hurts me deeply to know I did this to the person I loved so much and it hurts me to see others go through it also. I told my girlfriend to do what makes her happy and I mean that but to be honest I want her to do what makes me happy and get back together but that would be my selfishness showing through again. I hope other men learn from my mistakes and learn that love is very wonderful but fragile and you should treat it that way, I know I've learned. Surround yourself with loved one's and friends keep busy and don't dwell on it, it will only make you feel worse. Stay strong because it's always darkest before the dawn and if your feelings start to overcome you see a counselor or talk to someone close to you that will comfort and listen to you.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

So after the talking, the kisses good byes, the exchanging of items, it's over. For now. We talked about maybe trying again later on in life, a few years down the road, after he's out of collage perhaps. I want to, and he want's to. Perhaps that is all we nead, time. We have love, and passion, so time is all we nead, and alot of what we have. I do still love him, he does still love me. This story is far from over, and that comforts me.

 

vixen :bunny:

Link to post
Share on other sites

Time heals all wounds, and soon the sharp pain you feel will turn into a dull ache and eventually disapear. Are you in school again yourself? Perhaps you should do taht, you would meet lots of people, and it will help you get over Jon. You want to know what I suggest at the moment though? Get yourself your favorite book, get some bubble bath, light some candles, and take a nice long hot bath. Believe it or not, taht will help you. And remember, everyone here will be there for you. You know that song on the Anni soundtrack, "the sun will come out tomorow"? It is true.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...