tim-nice-but-dim Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 I'm in a rocky relationship at the moment ( 4 years ) Last December, I bumped into an old flame from 9 years ago and we instantly sparked again and we headed straight into affair territory. Between Dec and May we swapped 800 texts covering every subject including our feelings, sex and a future life together. We even spent days in bed making out.....it was that intense....Amazing sex life But one month ago she backed off completely saying this was all wrong because I'm still in a relationship. Yes thats true I suppose and accept her stance. We've met for coffee since and she annouces she's seeing someone. I was mature enough to wish her good luck etc but I'm concerned it's a rebound thing. Here's the clues.......v v quick turnaround from me, she known him 10 years but never fancied him ( she says he's really growing on her ), she made a point of telling me that all her friends like him ( validation? ), I've been in their company and wasn't at all jealous as there's little chemistry between them. We'd planned a weekend away in July but now he's going, not me! Oh, he also lives along the street....and her kids love playing football with him !! Last time we were together ( 10 days ago ) we lay out in her garden under a tree, had a cuddle and she even said that she's not expecting a great love life with him adding that our lovelife was once in a lifetime.....How odd.... ** She texted me this morning asking if I phone tonite to speak to her son as he misses me...... Now, am I getting my chain pulled or is this her heading for a rebound? She has history of rebounding, after we split 9 years ago she pitched straight into an abusive r'ship. She is adament she wants me in her life as a friend. But I'm ready to invoke the no contact rule. Had enough, plus I need to sort out my own relationship or whats left of it. Your thoughts please.... Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 Whether or not your affair partner is headed for a rebound relationship, that still doesn't sound like a healthy place for you to be. It also doesn't matter if she wants you to "be her friend" -- it matters what will be YOUR wisest/healthiest choice. If you're not going to be in her kid's life for very much longer, and even if you're unsure about that right now, it is in the child's long-term best interest for you to not put yourself in a position where he can get even more attached to you. I would encourage you to think about him. It's totally up to your own principles, values, character and self-image, as to what you're going to do about/with/for the woman you've cheated on. Link to post Share on other sites
StarrySkyBlue Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 The fact that you wouldn't end your current relationship to be with her made her feel like she's trying to steal someone else's boyfriend. It also made her feel like you were just using her for sex. She ended it because she's smart enough to see this and because she has some self-respect. Yes, you really need to sort out your relationship first. Link to post Share on other sites
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