can i ask for from strangers..

[edwards99]

How does one ask for help..

after a 2 yr relationship we have broken up but i am so in love with this woman..i have read many many posts in different sections on this site..

this woman is ingrained in me..i love everything about her..we had an amazing start to our relationship..then about half way into it I lost my job..lost my self confidence..and became insecure..overtime..that lead to mood swings..bickering and silence.

So about a month ago..I moved out her choice..i didn't want to go but wanted to keep trying..but wanted to get help.."therapy"

about two wks into it..after me texting all the time..emailing long heart felt messages..she sent me message telling me it was over and when i get my life back in order to text or call her maybe 6 months time and we can date and try again..but at this point she is considering us separated with out the chance of getting back together..she says she still loves me but doesnt know how to get back to where we were..i kept trying to tel her that we can and should be spending time together but she is still mad at ow i changed..and overtime wrecked what we had..i asked her if there was anyone else..and she replied..that if i was changing at all i would have never asked and that she doesn't want anyone else..or want a relationship.

 

When she needed time..I texted..and sent many messages..i see know that was wrong but was afraid if i was out of site out of mind.that she could get over me faster..and i wanted to make her remember the good times..

now i am just destroyed..i dont sleep..and always think about her and wonder if she is thinking about me..or missing me as i miss her..or or or..

 

I am reallly in a bad place.if anyone has any advice..please tell me..

[polka_dot_pixie]

If she messaged you saying to get in contact when you'd sorted yourself out, then this woman does love you, it isn't a question of that. That's the type of break up message I'd send to my back and forth, handful of a "bf", I love him with all my heart but sometimes a person's problems are too damaging to the other half and they have to step back to see if the person will 'prove' they do love them and change their destructive habits.

 

Even if you don't message her, she will miss you if she loves you, I can guarantee this. My advice is to do what she has requested. Get your life on track. If she was completely done with you and the relationship she wouldn't have said to call her 6 months down the line if you sort things out. So, do it! It'll be hard, but if you love this woman, fix the issues that have parted you, don't stop messaging her but be cool with it, don't overly do it, just maybe once in a while to let her know that you're doing well.

 

She needs to see some kind of proof of change before she can reinvest her heart into the relationship, be adult and non-dramatic, and be straightforward and sort out the problems within yourself. Good luck.

[edwards99]

Thank you very very much for that advice..I want that ending so badly..

its the thought that in the mean time i will lose her to someone else and never get my chance that is killing me so..

[IronMaiden]

You have absolutely no control over whether she will find someone else. Your emails and texts serve only to push yourself further away from her. You put yourself in the front of her mind, but NOT in a good way. I have never ever seen anyone take anyone else back because the other person begged, pleaded, and was over clingy.

 

You must work on becoming again the kind of guy she would want to be with.

[edwards99]

yea i guess your right..its just so dam hard..its like she is tatooed inside my eye lids cuz i see her all the time.