How to get the lines of communication open?

[BTLC23]

My ex initially would respond to my texts, now she is dating someone else and ignores me. I would like to know if I can get her to talk to me. I no if i could I could get her back.

 

 

My ex gf broke up with me last July. For about a month before we broke up she stopped talking me on the phone. We had previously been in a long distance relationship, but we see each other on the weekends. We would take turns visiting each other, about two hours away. She began to stay less and less and at the end I only went up a day at a time opposed to two or three days. She tried to break up with me and I flipped out and would not let her leave, we went to the movies then to the beach, I went to kiss her goodbye and she turned her cheek with an angry face on. Two days later she saw me chillin with other girl friends with my friend. I was not involved with them but I guess I was neglecting her needs and she was an extremely jealous person. She said the thinks it is not a good idea that we talk anymore. It did not bother me because I figured I would eventually. We lived together in my house for a year and a half. We spent everyday together, we worked together, went to school together. Although, we had some crazy fights, it was so much fun having a best friend/lover with me at all times. We she left the previous summer I could not handle the distance and I broke up with her then got back together with her two months later. During our first separation she hung out with the guy she is dating now. Everything was great, but then the reasons why I broke up with her came back. She was jealous, and controlling. At this time I became the victim of my own life, I became insecure about myself, insecure about the relationship, and become a drug addict. I told her all the stuff I did when she was away. Nothing really bad, I never cheated on her, but the drugs I was doing. I went from calling her twice a week to three times a day. I stopped talking to her when she broke up with me after I threatned my life and begged and pleaded. I texted her about a dozen times then stopped for two months, she wished me a happy bday. Then late october I went to text her and she didnt respond. I tried a week later no response. I then sent a very powerful letter telling her what the deal was. Two weeks later I see pics of her on fb and she is talking about the guy. I did not respond, then two weeks later they are in a relationship. I bugged out went into her email, saw she had been see him as early as late august. I went up there to her job, she saw me and called the cops on me. This girl is very selfish, I just want to talk to her. I guess the only way would be to not talk to her for a year or more. Let her cool down.

[EthanH]

what makes you so sure she would take you back?

[BTLC23]

Well I doubt she would take me back with how she sees me now, but if we could hang out..

 

I know this because I am ninety percent back to myself. The person who she feel in love with, and with the addition of a broken heart. That is the only difference I am much more fearful of be rejected now then I was back then. If a girl said eww or something to me back then I did not care, now it would bother me. We went through so much together, there is so many feelings and emotions there, good and bad. The things that I honestly I felt needed to change with myself I have, the break up was a huge wake up call for me, that I needed to give more in a relationship, and control my emotions better. Thing is she thinks of me as the psycho she broke up with and all that damage I did to her feelings for me cant be erased. How do I do this, and make her feel like she once did.

[EthanH]

if she has moved on, there isn't much chance, is there? Just because she came back before, doesn't mean she will again, in fact, it is more unlikely. What would it take for you to accept it is over. You might have changed, but that doesn't mean she has. I know this is really hard, and I know you are hurting, I just think you need to look at things logically.

 

that is the thing i'm learning, you can't make anyone feel a certain way... and apart from anything, think it through, why would you want to? Would you want that as the basis for a relationship?

[BTLC23]

I agree with you Ethan. If were talking logically, one side of me KNOWS that she is a psycho and I would be way better off without her. But, she still was my first girlfriend, first person I slept with, I lived with her for about two years, we were good friends before we became a couple. We did have a lot of fun together. I don't want her to remember me that way I was when she left, I was not at my best and that hurts my ego. It doesn't help that when she was convincing herself she was right she helped me break down myself too. I went from being God to the Devil, in a nutshell. She told me that she was sorry that I was so nice to her, but she doesnt have the same feelings for me anymore when she broke up with me. Two weeks later I asked why we split and she said it was because I put her through hell, and did this and that. I feel like she is thinking about all the bad things to stick with her decision and protect herself. She did the same thing with her dad. She had problems with him then one day she just never talked to him again. It was very hard for me. I went from 24/7 to zero contact.