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Please Help Me


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sarahjane1515

I am completely destroyed, some one please give me advice or kind words.

 

My boyfriend and I met and started dating a year ago this august.

frankly, we had a great relationship. I mean we had our ups and downs,

but what relationship doesnt?

 

Throughout the relationship, both feeled the other didnt appreciate them as

much as they shouldve. Although we both tryed, it always seemed that the other "owed" you something.

 

Two weeks ago he told me that he was having problems... and that I needed to start appreciating him more. I tryed my best... and he seemed fine.

However... he went off with his friends... and when he came back he was cold uncaring and tryed his best to make me hate him.

 

He dumped me on the phone. Were still in contact... and Im trying to patch things up. We've had close calls before... and in some ways this time is no different. When hes mad, and hes hurt, he tells me to get over him, and is extremely mean to me... he apologizes late at night when hes not thinking as straight...

 

Franly Im a complete wrec. I love this man more than anything. he has seen me through everytime. We have done everythign together... we have so much in common... I cant stop crying and all he can say to me is "Why dont You just Get Over Me?" Its been a week and hes asking that! He promised to love me forever... Why is he Screwing my life up/

 

I dont know what Ill do. i Need advice on anything... how to get him back...

how to cope... what I should do.. etc...... please... i cant go on thinking like this....

 

-Destroyed

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If you were constantly having trouble appreciating each other, the relationship didn't go that well, I guess.

 

So the plan I'd suggest is:

- tell him you're going to get over him, and ask him to not contact you in ANY way, until YOU contact him

- stay busy for now, and once you're past the crying, look around & date some other people. if a year from now, you still want to contact this guy, go ahead. but until then, stay away from him.

 

But frankly, "you need to appreciate me more" is such a ridiculous thing to say, don't you think?? Appreciation is either there or it's not. Asking to be appreciated is like asking to be loved - it's humiliating, and meaningless as well.

 

good luck,

-yes

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familiarityrules

What is there to patch up? You sound like you two are not compatible and are headed for an extremely unhappy relationship.

Life is short my friend. Don't waste precious time in a relationship where the two of you cannot understand one another enough to appreciate each other.

All relationships require work but it shouldn't be a pissing contest everyday to prove that you really appreciate each other.

 

Some relationships work, others don't. Plain and simple. It is tough to leave someone who you care about but, the reward of meeting someone even BETTER for you is well worth the pain.

 

Take care

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