My ex wished me a happy xmas & happy birthday.. Xmas makes me feel worse

[Charmaine_Champagne]

my ex ended things with me very cruelly earlier this year and really treated me like crap. we were first loves, together 6 years since aged 17 but he really changed completely as a person, started hanging out with new macho friends and just suddenly wanted rid of me to be single and mess around, his behavior towards me was vile, esp as i'd always been loyal and loving to him. (my 1st ever threads here tell the whole horrible story)

 

i really hit rock bottom before i started feeling better but for the past few months i was doing well.. then christmas arrived, and not only is it christmas but my birthday aswell and i started feeling down as this is the first xmas in 6 years that we have been apart. plus the fact it is also my birthday hit home to me.

 

i posted a question here the other day wondering if xmas/my birthday would make my ex more reflective and would he think of me. Well i guess he did. he sent me an email wishing me a happy birthday and merry xmas and wrote 'have a good one' .. i have been NC so i'm not really sure why he did this. plus any messages i received from him recently have been rude, insulting or sexually explicit and attention seeking (the last txt he sent me said he wanted to 'cum in my face' !!!!)

 

then he sends me this friendly, nice happy xmas, happy bday email. i don't want to read too much into it. but i am glad he atleast thought of me, we've been broken up for months and we aren't friends so i guess he didn't have to do it

 

here's the thing, everyone told me not to reply to the email but i did! i guess i just wanted to be civil to him being xmas and all. plus its the end of the year, i felt i should end on a civil note with him and acknowledge his polite email by sending a short but polite one back

 

all i wrote back to him two days later was "thanks, hope you had a good christmas!"

 

-do you think this was an ok response? or do you guys think i should have ignored it?

 

i also wonder why he sent the email, esp after months of being hostile and nasty to me, then he sends me this quite friendly msg

 

it is abit of an ego boost to know he was thinking of me.

 

did any of you guys hear from your exes this christmas?

 

any thoughts on my response to him also? was i right to respond???

 

i'd been coping ok but when i read his email- even tho it didn't say much- i burst into tears. i miss him, well i miss the old him before he changed on me. but we has so many good times and xmas brought it all back. i wonder if it affected him that way

 

?????

 

 

thanks.

Edited December 27, 2009 by Charmaine_Champagne

[Charmaine_Champagne]

i guess another point is we've been broken up now 9 months, i've been doing NC, we didn't part on good terms and anytime NC was broken it was just arguing and pain. prior to his xmas wishes i hadn't heard from him in 3 weeks when he insulted me. we aren't friends, we can't be.. basically what i'm trying to say is it's been so long, therefore he didn't have to send that message, he could have ignored my birthday.. so why did he bother?

 

i don't think it was an overly bad thing of me to reply, after all i did just say ''thanks, hope u had a good xmas" short and sweet

 

it'd b interesting to see what others make of it tho, but yeh we aren't in contact so he didn't have to acknowledge my birthday at all, yet he still did

[sugarmomma]

He's just checking to see if you're open for more pain that he has to give you. You showed him that you may be open for a little more punishment. He didn't send it because he has turned into this loving and caring person. That's not who he is. You would be better to move on and change your email address and phone number. Move on to someone that will treat you right.

[gaudi]

I got a happy xmas text from the Ex on christmas day too.

 

I have a feeling it had more to do with the fact that I hadn't been in touch with her for a while, she came back from a 2 week break on christmas eve (this really helped with the NC), and I'm pretty sure she sent it because I hadn't been getting in touch asking how her holiday had been.

 

We had ended things pretty amicably though, I texted back wishing merry xmas to you too. Gonna leave it at that.

[adamt]

I didnt get anything from my ex. broke up 7 months ago. Dont know what is worst getting something from the ex and playing with your mind or getting nothing and feeling sad that someone can just wipe you out of their life so easily.

 

i'm off work for 10 days, its the first time since the before the break up that i have a bit of spare time and she is on my mind this week. I just want to get the holidays out of the way. its hard to not reflect on this time last year and not knowing that things were going to end.

 

i have a couple of dates lined up in january so cant wait to get this time off out of the way and look ahead to 2010. 2009 has been a terrible year, not just me but for many people. the ex even lost her mom just before she dumped me.

[gaudi]

Well I suppose in my case if I hadn't heard anything from her, it might have made me wonder if she even got back from her holiday OK. I was expecting a text on christmas day and I got it. I haven't been back in touch with her since though, nor she with me. I suppose it is good that she got in touch, because it happened the way I expected it to.

 

Good luck with your dates though adamt, I've got one tomorrow......fingers crossed !!!

[skydiveaddict]

hey i feel for ya. got the same bs text from my ex. i just deleted it. my advice to you is if he calls, dont answer, if he texts delete it, (dont even read it). same w/ email. move on & give yourself time to heal good luck to ya

Edited December 29, 2009 by skydiveaddict

[Back2dabasics]

im glad i didn't get no text or email or nothing from my ex saying merry xmas... im moving on and theres no need to look back... but based on what you said. i think you shouldn't have responded but you did. anyway you responded in a well civilized manner. you kept it basic and simple. that's it. so don't feel so bad that you responded. you responded maturely. but just leave at that. no more textes or responses.

[adamt]

well i had a dream with her in it last night. we were laid in bed and she was saying how she made a mistake and had wanted to be back together for a while. I've got to keep myself busy to take my mind off her. i hate wasting holidays but i just want to get back to work and keep myself occupied. its a tough time at the moment and i'm sure there are plenty of people out there going through the same stuff. I just never thought it would be this hard. Sometimes it feels like some kind of mental illness. I am dreading New year's eve, just get me into 2010!

 

Ever seen the film, Sunshine of a spotless mind. How great would that be if we could wipe them from our memories. If the dumper and dumpee did it, i wonder what would happen if we both met again in the street as if it was the first time.

Edited December 29, 2009 by adamt

[gaudi]

Ever seen the film, Sunshine of a spotless mind. How great would that be if we could wipe them from our memories. If the dumper and dumpee did it, i wonder what would happen if we both met again in the street as if it was the first time.

 

Try not thinking about that mate, because the first time you met has been and gone. But the next person you meet, it will be the first time, and that's gotta be something to look forward to.....