Lunatique X Posted May 26, 2003 Share Posted May 26, 2003 My g/f broke up with me and went out with someone else... She just told me about 4 days ago. So I have been really depressed, and on the verge of suicide. She meant the world to me, and I gave up my life, and my friends to be with her. I sacrificed so much..to make her happy, ya know? We made plans for the future, we had everything planned out. I thought are love would last forever like she always told me.. So now I am an empty shell, with no hopes, or a future. I have been sitting around my house all day, and all night, either crying, or beating on my walls and bed. I have held a knife to my wrist..I am just to scared to do it, but I want to so bad, I want to end it all. if anyone can help me, now would be a good time..I have talked to my counceler, and to many friends..but nothing seems to help. I am doing a bit better I suppose..but, it won't go away.. Thanks for any input. Mike Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted May 26, 2003 Share Posted May 26, 2003 i know it's a terribly nasty time, but you WILL feel better as time goes by. you WIILL get over her. for now, just try to keep busy - you know, even simple things - clean, cook, redecorate, go jogging, go work out, ... if you have any hobbies, now is a good time to turn to them... you can also read books, listen to music, write, whatever! if she's always on your mind - that's OK, just ignore the thoughts, let them pass by, and they'll reduce as time goes by... most people go through a devastating break-up at some point, and we all survive... just hang in there! if you feel suicidal again, call a doctor, OK? good luck, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lunatique X Posted May 26, 2003 Author Share Posted May 26, 2003 Yea..I know..I have been playing Legend of Dragoon for PS, kinda helps, I mean, while I am playin and all. I forget for awhile, then afterwards, it all floods back. She still calls me..and wants to be friends and all, so I have been goin along..i think this may hurt me more..But I don't want to lose her completely.. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted May 26, 2003 Share Posted May 26, 2003 why the hell is she calling you?? to confirm that you're hurt as can be? thats plain cruel of her. if i were you, i'd tell her that a break up is a break up, and it's inappropriate for her to contact you in any way. Until you cease all contact with her, you won't feel better good luck, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lunatique X Posted May 26, 2003 Author Share Posted May 26, 2003 I love her voice though..it reminds me, of how it use to be..I cant live without it, and i still wait for my chance..ya know, maybe in the future..to win her again.. Link to post Share on other sites
Arcane Posted May 26, 2003 Share Posted May 26, 2003 I know exactly how you feel. Me and my ex of 3 years broke up in February, but we stayed in constant contact. We still talk every day and I see her all the time. It hasn't gotten any easier in the last 4 months. If anything it's worse. I can't break off contact though because she does mean so much to me even as a friend. It's quite a dilemma, but you deal with it however you can. Link to post Share on other sites
cindy0039 Posted May 26, 2003 Share Posted May 26, 2003 I think intense relationships are like addictions and that once it is broken off, it has to be a clean break. Otherwise, it's like you start getting over it and then when you have contact with the person again it's another "fix" and then you have to start breaking the addiction all over again. Believe me, I know it's very hard to just stop seeing someone that you care for deeply, but if they've said it's over and they're seeing someone else, the best thing for you to do is do the same. Spend time with your friends or do anything that gets you out and away from the phone. Do not -- I repeat -- DO NOT sit and wait for your ex to call you. She may be just worried about you or trying to let you down easy. The best thing you can do is not be there when she calls and prove that you can live without her. And if you do get extremely depressed, PLEASE call a hotline or your doctor or someone else you can talk to about it. You're not alone in the world and many people have gone through what you're going through and you will make it through it too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lunatique X Posted May 27, 2003 Author Share Posted May 27, 2003 Thanks a lot for the help everyone, really, this means a lot. I will try my best, but I know I can't stop calling her. I still love her, and more then ever... I know it's not good for me, but over time, maybe I will stop... It's just so much pain..and it get's worse..all the time. I am currently putting on an image for my family. I hate to see them worry so much..So I think it will help them to see I am better.. Link to post Share on other sites
superaccord Posted May 27, 2003 Share Posted May 27, 2003 I'm going through almost exactly the same thing. My ex and i just split up also from a very serious relationship she is in college and so am i. we split up for like 3 months then got back together. she said over the 3 mths she missed me so bad. We still stayed in contact with eachother, and got through it together. then 3 wks after we got back together i was getting mixed emotions from her and called it off. it was the hardest thing ever, i still love her so much and right now and everyday that passes i feel just like you minus the suicidal thoughts.She says that she needs this time appart to figure out if she thinks im the right one for her and she needs to date other people. she has been seeing this guy from her work, and really likes him now. i dont know what to do, and we still talk everynight. she still comes to see me like nothing is different other than the title and and her new crush. i really think that i need to move on, but then i dont know, she said she still wants me to be there. am i being used for something? what do you think i should do?she actually really treats me really well, the best ever. she would be my perfect choice if she could make up her mind. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted May 27, 2003 Share Posted May 27, 2003 I can't imagine investing my feelings so deeply in someone that I would kill myself if they were gone, but having been "in love" with Mr. Right and having lost him, I guarantee, you will get through the grief of losing your girlfriend. Sometimes life works out just the way we hope, but more often it doesn't. And when it doesn't you've got to decide what you are meant to learn from your experience -- I can't tell you what it is exactly that you're supposed to learn from this relationship, but I can tell you that as you go through the grieving process (and each subsequent relationship), you'll redefine your concept of love. And when you least expect it, the person you are meant to be with will walk into your life and you'll realize that all the others before her were just rehearsals for the real thing. my heart goes out to you, and I hope that you see that your life is much, much more meaningful than a relationship that didn't work out the way you wanted it to. as much as you want privacy as you grieve, don't try to hide it from your family. It'll hurt them knowing that they could have done something to help you, but never were given a chance to. If you're especially close to someone -- a parent, a sibling, a cousin or aunt or uncle -- share with them. It doesn't exactly take away the grief, but sometimes knowing that someone loves you enough to want to take on your hurt makes all the difference. jo anne Link to post Share on other sites
Gray Posted May 27, 2003 Share Posted May 27, 2003 Hey buddy. I'm gonna try to just talk here, no sugar coating... First off, I'm sorry about what happened. That really sucks. I'm sure it hurts, I've been there, and lemme tell ya, its probably gonna suck for awhile. But you will get through it. My first love broke up with me. We'd dated for 2 years, and I descended into the worst hell of my life to date. I cried constantly. I thought about killing myself. I would stay up until 3 or 4, fall asleep and wake up at 8 with all the pain again. I called her, I begged, I insulted. I felt totally alone, and the friends and family I talked to, it felt like all I did was complain and cry to them about how much everything sucked. ... and then slowly it got better. Each morning I woke up with less hurt. Then I started checking out other girls I had the freedom to get now, and that seemed cool. But I knew I wouldn't find another match for me, like her. Ya know what? A few years later now. I have found the girl of my dreams. I actually laugh at how much i cried and the late night phone calls. There are other people out there, you will find someone else. What you're going through is completely normal, and like you've heard a thousand times, it just takes time. Thats not gonna make you feel better now, but you will. Hey, even the suicide thoughts, totally normal... just don't act on 'em ok? Who wants to go out like a punk... hey, pm me if ya need to ok? I'm round a computer most of the day, and i know what its like when ya need to talk. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted May 27, 2003 Share Posted May 27, 2003 [color=darkred]Ya know what? A few years later now. I have found the girl of my dreams. I actually laugh at how much i cried and the late night phone calls. [/color] almost like the heartache belonged to someone else, especially in light of finding the person you were meant to be with, right? I think the hardest part of having been through something similar is convincing people that yes, it's rough, and yes, you're going to hurt, but you eventually go to where you are meant to be. I think back to when I was in college and madly in love with Mr. Right. Now I just smile, because I know that the pain of losing him then is VERY much worth the happiness I have now with the guy I ended up marrying, a relationship that really just came out of the blue ... LX, like Gray says, feel free to contact me if you need a shoulder to lean on. You can send a message via LoveShack. jo anne Link to post Share on other sites
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