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Being used


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Being used.

I really wish I knew why I am so insecure.

I am a 50 year old lady dating a 59 year old man. You would think we are teenagers or something. When I first met my boyfriend I thought he was lonely, we dated on a causal bases at first, I wasn't really that interested but grew to really like him, he treated me very nice. Then came the sex which was great and I grew to love him.

 

Everything was going fine till he changed jobs and a lady at work started to flirt with him. He is a big flirt but it never really bothered me that much but when this lady started to flirt back he began to eat it up. Matter of fact 2 ladies started to flirt back and tell him they love him. I found their e-mails at is his place. Sorry I couldn't resist reading them to find out the truth.

 

Before I found this out he had started treating me not as nice as before and I knew something was a miss. When I did find out I freaked out started to get to clingy because I didn't want to lose him. But I have since cooled that. But now he treats me so bad.. Does not tell me he loves me, doesn't do anything for me, didn't buy be a birthday present etc.. I know he doesn't care about me anymore he is in love with the other lady but she just wants him as a friend. He tells me and still insists there is no one else but I did read the e-mails were he is just drooling over her, practically begging for her attention and buying her lunch and gas. When we go to dinner we split the bill most of the time, he almost never treats me. My e-mails are no where near any of that, that he writes her but they use to be and it hurts that they are not now but he writes it to someone else.

 

Ok here is the problem I can't seem to let go. I know he doesn't what me but for sex, which I like too. I am being used and disrespected. I try not to call and can't make it past 2 days. I just hate rejections, I guess everyone does. How can I get over this.. Letting myself be treated so badly. I hate that he thinks that I am such a fool. But after 3 years of being with him, where he was so very nice to me till recently, this mean treatment hurts so much. I just can't turn off and not love him all the sudden like he did to me. So pretty much he dumped me but keeps me around for the sex and I am letting it happen. I don't know what to do. I am trying really hard but it is almost like I am addicted to him and the sex too. I don't even know what to do. Please any advice from anyone.

Linda.

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jessicakicksbut

Linda,

 

I can tell from your post that you are well aware of the fact that you are being used, mistreated, and basically getting the "cold" treatment from your boyfriend. It will be hard to walk away, but it will be the best thing for you. You need to work on building up your self-esteem because you are a worth-while person with a lot of great traits. Also, you deserve a lot better than what you are putting up with right now. Like I said, it will be very hard to walk away, but you need to focus on helping yourself right now and building up your self-esteem. If you don't do this for yourself, I can forsee him being the one that breaks up with you, and wouldn't that be a lot harder on you then if you made the first move and broke up with him??? Take control and stand up for yourself, before it is too late and he is the one who has the last say.

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Rent several seasons of HBO's Sex and the City, and know that women can have just plain old sexual relationships as well as men, if that's what you want. Enjoy yourself, have fun, and then go home and don't expect a call until the next time, maybe you'll be available, maybe you won't.

 

If that's what you want, there's nothing wrong with that.

 

Or you can always pick up your self-esteem, walk out confident. And know that like attracts like, and find yourself someone that wants to settle down.

 

Either way, you will do okay. The choice and control are yours, even though it doesn't feel like it right now.

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