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confused - 3yrs together & now broken up


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My exboyfriend and I were together 3years. I'm a freshman in college and he's a junior in college. We've been the happiest couple ever and everyone thought we'd get married. These past 3months have been hectic tho. He's been going through lots of decisions and has been confused about his life. He broke up with me the first time 3months ago. He said that he needed time for himself and that he didn't love me the same way anymore. Then the next month he came crawling back to me. We still considered ourselves to be on a break but we were practically a couple. During that time he told me he loved me and that he wanted to be with me forever one day and he did so much to prove his love. It was really genuine. The month was so happy! Still I would get upset about things. Then just a week ago I got upset and made him talk with me. We decided we were moving too fast and that we actually needed a break. Then he told me again that he doesn't love me the same way. i'm so confused cause just a few days before he loved me so much. and now it changed again. We are both in college now. I realize there's a lot going on in our lives. I know he's been really confused about a lot and he's told me he has been. He said now that he's not confused right now. I don't know what to think cause I'm beyond confused. One day he loves me and the next he doesn't. I realize that we really need time apart cause we're young still and have alot of personal growing to do but I want to end up with him down the road. I love him so much! We're so happy together. I don't know what changed. I don't know what to think. I know it's best for us both to move on and live for ourselves right now. I can still see us together down the road. Am I in denial? Is there hope? Can I still think that we might get back together in the future? What do you all think from what I've said? Thanks!

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It's pretty neurotic to conduct a relationship on the basis of whether somebody loves somebody today but not tomorrow but then again later in the week.

 

Why don't both of you just forget this love stuff for a while and have some fun together, enjoy each other's company and lighten up??? You've got a lot of time in the future to worry about all that love stuff. Right now, you could be enjoying each other's company, enjoying doing things together without bogging yourselves down with a lot of confusing emotions.

 

Yes, it's confusing as hell. Lighten up and bit. You'd be surprised at how great things can go if you stop taking a love reading every five minutes and just enjoy each other and your times together.

 

As for the future, there's no chance of anything happening if this crazy love level taking doesn't stop and stop now. If you're having fun and enjoying each other, that doesn't make a difference right now. So if he loved you every single day for one year without interuption, what would that do for the two of you? I don't think it would have any meaning either. The two of you are in college, have to get through that and begin careers. Let that be your focus right now.

 

And no matter how he feels at any particular minute, just know that I love you every second of the month. You can't beat that with a stick!!!

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Hey! It's me again! Thanks for the advice. Another question tho. Things are hard now tho. I am afraid that if I'm too emotional around him that it will ruin a friendship. I think it's bad for me to jump into the friends thing when I'm not over the relationship. Should I stop contact for awhile til I get myself back together and then work on being just friends? What are your suggestions?

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Yes, you should absolutely cease contact. That's common sense. In a month or two, you may not even have any motivation to be friends.

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