McGrupp Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 just saw the ex on gmail chat. wrote "hey" in the box. then i ex'd out. 25 days nc. i dont even know what i wouldve said. theni had a day dream of someone telling me she was seeing someone else. and i was just like, shrug, cool. still hurting but getting there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author McGrupp Posted October 26, 2009 Author Share Posted October 26, 2009 god dammit this hurts so bad. i want to break but i know it will just be like a drug. ill be up for an hour and then back to where i was 25 days ago Link to post Share on other sites
Author McGrupp Posted October 26, 2009 Author Share Posted October 26, 2009 just called her. i know. she didnt pick up. now i move on. Link to post Share on other sites
symbol Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 Why do you still have her on gmail chat? When my ex broke up with me, I deleted his number off my cell, deleted all email addresses, and chat accounts to avoid temptations like you had. It's hard to stay on NC and if you have all these ways to contact her, you're just making it harder for yourself to stay on NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Author McGrupp Posted October 27, 2009 Author Share Posted October 27, 2009 she called me back. just had an hour long talk with the ex. i kept it real light. we talked like old times. had a lot of laughs. i told her i had moved to my own place and how im traveling and the spring and might be leaving for the west coast soon after that. these things all surpirsed her. i said this should probably be the last time we talk as i dont want to call one day as she has a bf. she said dont worry about that she wasnt looking. whatever. she said i still havent given her time. i understand that. she said she still needs to find herself. thats fine. i apoligized for things i said again. we talked about our families. it was very sad and weird and nice. im on the contact high right now. i might be pinning in some days. we still get along great. she was definately still upset about the horrible things i said to her on the last convo. i apologized again, and said you know thats not me. she said she knows im not like that. and i understand i have no chance. i understand i f'd myself. i understand i probably just pushed her away more. but im glad she doesnt thing im sitting here angry and bitter and that i am moving on. say what you want (you shouldnt care what she thinks) but we all do. thats all fine. im going to leave LS for awhile. time to get over her. im getting on and learning. its good to have some closure and to show them you doing alright Link to post Share on other sites
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