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Now what do I do?


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Hello all. I posted earlier this week about a guy I was seeing who constantly commented on other women when I was around him. The title of the post was "Guys & Gals, is this normal behavior?"

 

So, I will admit that I am a bit insecure by nature. I had a really bad relationship in the past that involved cheating and abuse (emotional and physical). I have mostly gotten over that and realize that I didn't indeed deserve it. However, when this new guy started commenting on other women, it brought all my insecurities back and turned me into a clingy, doubtful, suspicious person. I believe this is probably a normal reaction. But, I wish that I would have handled it differently. Not very mature on my end by getting jealous and angry.

 

Here's the latest...he has broken up with me because he feels I am too insecure and he is no longer attracted to me. He says he is just not into it the way I am. This really is killing me because I really liked this guy and we had so much in common. We really clicked at the beginning and he said he was head over heels for me.

 

So, this Monday, he calls me at work and tells me how he wants me out of his life, never wants to speak to me again, yada yada yada. So, I am upset, but I say screw it. He called after that to apologize for being so rude but he still didn't want to be with me.

 

I am dying inside. Here's the kicker...yesterday, he sends me a joke via email. I didn't respond and I haven't heard from him since. Here's my question, if he knows I am upset, why is he emailing. Does he want to be friends? He's friends with other exes, but there are other exes that he NEVER talks to and doesn't care.

 

I would like to be with him...what is he doing? Can anybody give me insight how I can get him back? I feel like I am going crazy!!!

 

Editor's Note: The thread refered to in the original post may be found here.

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It doesn't seem like he wants you back. Besides, it doesn't seem that the relationship was all that great for you anyways.

 

The joke email could be because you are in his list of people who get the jokes, a sign that he doesn't think badly of you as a person or just wanted to cheer you up a bit.

 

Stop obsessing over getting him back. Focus on healing.

 

Good luck.

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YOU ASK: "I would like to be with him...what is he doing? Can anybody give me insight how I can get him back?"

 

OK, this guy calls you at work on Monday "and tells me how he wants me out of his life, never wants to speak to me again, yada yada yada."

And you REALLY are wanting him back??? No, the question is NOT what is HE doing...the question is what are YOU doing???

 

If you have no self respect or self worth, you will be condemned to be on the receiving end of this kind of total rudeness all your days on this planet. I'm really sorry but those words are not something that somebody could call be and apologize for, not less than I could apologize to you for shooting you in the head and killing you.

 

I don't think most people on the board would want to tell you how go get this back even if you had excellent reasons why. People here have a heart and would not allow you to be cruel to yourself. There are too many other people out there who could do that for you. If you aren't nice to YOURSELF, how could you expect others to be. Forget this low class jerk. He's not worthy of breathing air on this planet.

 

YOU ALSO WRITE: "I feel like I am going crazy!!!"

 

I feel you may already be there. You might want to seek professional help in getting to the root of your insecurities and low self esteem. Confidence and self worth are two of the most important things you must possess in order to have quality relationships.

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