Odetta Dean Posted October 20, 2009 Share Posted October 20, 2009 This morning before my appointment, I told him that i found his email address because he kept asking me why i was so mad. Then I told him that i wanted him out. During my appointment i found out that i'm not eligible for legal aid to get custody. I don't know how i'm going to make ends meet without his income, apparently he isn't eligible either judging by the ridiculous income ceiling that they have. I called him from my moms and asked him if he was packed. He said no like i was nuts and then begged for my forgivness. I told him that i wanted him out by a certian time and that was it. When i got home he was still here. he stayed in the basement until an hour before his ride to leave got here. When he came up, he asked if he still had to leave. When i said yes he turned on me. He wrote a 4 page letter telling me how sorry he was for "looking to cheat" that me never acted on it on suday and never meant to. Also how he realized on saturday that it was a mistake with what he was doing. blah blah blah alllll lies. When i didn't accept that he went from sad and sorry to angry and mean. Calling me names and yelling stomping around. He still actually tried to use the guilt trip on me, which use to work but ceases to now. "You are breaking up this family because of your selfishness" He's gone now. The locks are changed and my mind is now free for the time being. Thanks Angel, for being so caring and helping me through the hardest part. What worries me, is that my whole family, the ones i've told act like this is nothing. I guess its just because we've broken up and got back together so many times? But still I've told them something that is out of this world to them, i'm the most open minded of all of them and i expected something, not just an "oh my" and a little support. I love them to no end, but i didn't get any support. Maybe i was just expecting the worst from him and my family having my back to no end. I don't know, i'm happy it didn't work out that way though. The less drama there is, the better. ~ I'm just worried that they think less of me. He left without much of a fight, and that's good. Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted October 20, 2009 Share Posted October 20, 2009 Good for you. If you need us we're here to listen. Be strong. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Odetta Dean Posted October 20, 2009 Author Share Posted October 20, 2009 Good for you. If you need us we're here to listen. Be strong. Thank you. Just that small sentiment helps alot, more than you know. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 20, 2009 Share Posted October 20, 2009 First off.. I'm sorry you are going thru this.. Honestly you need to seek legal advice at this point.. I'm sure what state you are in but you cannot change the locks of a marital residence as it is his home too. By doing this you may very well be shocked at how it can escalate the drama in a breakup. It sounds like you have been thru a wringer and I just wanted to say (hugs) If you really are going to file then please seek legal advice as quickly as you can in order to protect yourself. Stay Strong... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Odetta Dean Posted October 20, 2009 Author Share Posted October 20, 2009 First off.. I'm sorry you are going thru this.. Honestly you need to seek legal advice at this point.. I'm sure what state you are in but you cannot change the locks of a marital residence as it is his home too. By doing this you may very well be shocked at how it can escalate the drama in a breakup. It sounds like you have been thru a wringer and I just wanted to say (hugs) If you really are going to file then please seek legal advice as quickly as you can in order to protect yourself. Stay Strong... Thanks Artie, You've always been a sweetie Does it help if we were only commonlaw, and his name was never on any of the bills/utilities and most importantly the lease? Because i have took care of all the bills etc ever since hes moved in with me. It's how it was back then when he moved in and hasn't changed since. Do you think that still could get me in trouble? Link to post Share on other sites
Angel1111 Posted October 20, 2009 Share Posted October 20, 2009 (edited) Hey, good for you! I am SO impressed at your bravery! You may not know how you're going to make it but you will. Just believe in yourself. So, who's telling you that he doesn't have to pay child support? I've never heard of that. Nor have I ever heard that you can't change the locks. Who cares? Let him make a fuss about it then. This stuff with common law is very complicated - I hope you're talking to a lawyer. Your family will come around. They're probably sick of all the drama attached to this guy and they probably fully expect you to take him back - so they're not going to jump up and down right away. From their perspective, they probably feel like they've helped you many times and it just turned out the same way. Once they see that you aren't going to let him back in your life, they'll start to respect you more. And, unless they ask, don't even talk to them about him. As far as the guilt trip he tried to put you on, that's just funny. What a stupid thing to say - that YOU'RE selfish. He truly did not like getting caught at his game, did he? Too bad. Please, Odetta, don't EVER let yourself be with another man like this again. Not ever. And don't ever live with a man again unless the two of you are married. And don't ever 'take care' of a man in the sense of paying bills, etc. - let him take care of you. Change your whole mind-set about relationships because right now the things you've done in the past just don't work. You will also be setting a great example for your kids by changing your expectations and behavior. Please just give yourself time with yourself and think about your life before you allow another person in it. Anyway, I'm very proud of you. What you did was very brave because you had no idea how he was going to react. I'm sure he's not done begging and pleading so just be prepared for that. Edited October 20, 2009 by Angel1111 Link to post Share on other sites
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