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I'm in anger now!!!


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Have you ever been so angry at your ex that you just wanted to choke him? I can't believe I was so sad a few days ago...and I am sure I will be sad again. My emotions are all over the place.

 

It's taking everything I have to not do some vindictive stuff. I know exactly what to say to his new instant girlfriend that would end things quickly. But I'm trying to take the high road, and I know it's not my business what they are doing. Also I really want to get to a place where I just don't care.

 

I am just soooo angry, and hurt really, that it's really hard to want to do evil stuff. I am at day 4 of reinstated NC. Ughhhhhh.....this sucks.......

 

I feel so lonely, and it kills me to know he's not lonely. I know I could go out and get with someone, but I'm still at that place where no one else even interests me. As much as I hate him right now, I look at other men, and they do nothing for me....they are not him. How crazy is that? I just feel nuts sometimes. You can only spend so much time with your friends.

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I understand how you are feeling. The anger can be overwhelming at times. But look at it this way... instead of being stuck in the "oh my God, I feel so terrible, why won't he come back to me" mode, you also feel anger, which means that you have acknowledged to yourself that he did something to you that was wrong and terribly unjust. It means that you are on the road to healing, because in feeling the anger you have knocked him off the pedestal that he doesn't deserve to be on.

 

I still vacillate between my missing him and my anger towards him. In my case, the break up was sudden. No fighting. He gave me no indication that he was anything other than happy, fulfilled and in love with me. Every step in the relationship was one that he advanced first. An hour before he dumped me he was still calling me "honey". So what I have been trying to do is every time I get stuck in the sadness and longing to be with him, I remind myself that the man I knew and the man he presented to me was pretty much a farce. The man I knew and loved would not have hurt me the way that the commitmentphobic boy who dumped me did. Then I am able to return to the anger at the deception.

 

Please try your best not to do anything vindictive. Do take the high road. It's one thing to tell him off, but anything beyond that will bring you down to his level. I have to meet my ex later today to pick up the last of my things, and I know it will be hard to not go completely off on him, but I will stay calm, cool and collected. I will feel better for doing so, because I know in my heart that I am in the right here...that I am the better person and need to act as such.

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mundane mind

Life brings about Revenge but the best part is- you don't have to be the one doing it.

 

It would be quicker for you to heal and move on if you don't do something vindictive. You always end up waiting for the outcome of what you've done which delays your healing.

 

Channel you anger towards something positive like making yourself better. Try to have fun with the other men- don't look at them as a replacement for him. You don't need to be in a relationship with them, just go out and try to have fun.

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The best revenge is to live your life...:)

 

The truth is when someone hates you or goes out of their way to sabotage you and be spiteful, although it is negative....you still get an ego boost that you bother them that much and they are spending time and energy thinking about you and your life.

 

If you leave them alone and do you....then that is what makes them feel bad.

 

I know the feeling and a couple of weeks ago I was feeling the same...and now I don't feel much anger or any strong emotion...just blah. If I sit round thinking too much about him and what he has done/is doing/has not done then I can get angry again so I don't bother....

 

I just try to live my life in abundance....

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I have gone back and forth with the anger and sadness so many times in the past couple of weeks..it's rather draining.

 

One day I'm crying my eyes out over him, the next I feel like I want something bad to occur for him. Not to him mind you, nothing to actually harm him, just something that would irritate him or piss him off a lot..I know it's stupid.

I keep having these random thoughts like wanting to fly down to FL, go directly where he's working, walk in and just slap him as hard as I can.

 

I don't know about anyone else, but I think what motivates my anger in particular is when I think of certain things he said when/after he broke up with me. I think I could have been a lot better off and not feeling so vindictive had he not been as mean as he was about it; I don't know.

 

But I definitely get you on the anger Phoenix. Though it tends to switch up quite a bit, I find I'm feeling that emotion more often than the others lately.

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@Beeotch, I know just holding my head up high and moving on is the best revenge, but sometimes....! And the truth is, I know in the long run he is the one that will suffer, for many reasons. I actually also think he is going to regret his actions, and because he is CP, will want to come back AGAIN, and hopefully by then, I will be moved on.

 

@Icyness - my emotions are all over the page too. In one day I can feel, sad, angry, depressed, kinda ok, etc. It feels nutty and it's really draining. The anger, although it literally consumes me sometimes, is good though. Read an earlier post on here that talks about the positive, healing piece of anger (can't remember who it was).

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@Phoenix1 -- As time goes on, I am becoming more grounded in my emotions and I'm SURE the same will happen for you!! It's not that I'm healed yet, but I feel much more centered and grounded. I still have my moments of yearning but its less intense now. I really think that NC has been the best medicine. You're right, his CPism will likely draw him back to you once he's sufficiently distanced himself to relieve his anxiety. Without the anxiety, he'll realize all that he's lost and he'll start to REALLY miss you because he WON'T be able to replace you. Hopefully it will take him long enough that you've had enough time to heal and become centered and grounded in yourself. Then you'll be in the driver's seat to decide whether this man has become healthy enough to give you what you really want and deserve in a relationship. I know this is easier said than done but put him off to one side for the time being and take all the energy you've invested on him and the relationship and refocus that energy on you and giving to yourself. YOU deserve it!!

 

Be strong!!

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Thanks Serena, I actually feel small glimmers of hope from time to time - hope that I'll be OK, not that we will get back together (:, just to clarify.

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@Pheonix....it's just for you..........

What i would like to tell you is that never regret for anything in your life.........getting disturbed due to circumstances is a common phenomenom at such a stage of your life....well if it's your first time of having a beau..the sufferings would be more and it would decrease as the number of relationships would increase in your life just because you would be having a feeling that maybe he could leave me any moment...just be prepared for the worst or the bad in your life to happen...you cant just quit your life so easily....maybe he dont deserves a girl like you.......you know what not exactly the same but nearabout it happened with me as a guy..it hurted me over 4 months and it was horrible....then i realised that if she doesnt bothers about me for a second why should i bang my mind and get myself disturbed.......be mentally strong...i know its hard to believe but the truth is the truth and you have to focus on what lies ahead not behind thats what i mean to say that never look back and just F*** the world

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yeah people have their own lives if you interfere or try as such they would abuse you or tryin insult....show him what you are and you dont need him anymore....yeah you are a girl baby.......getting good guys maybe not so easy but afterall you have to believe on someone at some point of your life to get yourself established....i dont know whether you believe in long term relationships or not but nevermind just heal upon it....there's nothing to cry or die for.......you would recover soon......every single thing is abundant in this world i mean the world is full of beautiful people....no matter at which instant you may meet a person who deserves you equally the way you do.......so be happy baby......and rest depends on your natural thinking and mental power to forget him and dump him out of your mind;);););););):D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D DONT WORRY BE HAPPY

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I'm going through the same river in the same boat you're in.......and it's sinking :(

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H

I feel so lonely, and it kills me to know he's not lonely.

 

amen sister

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My last two long term BF's (11 yrs and 2 yrs) left me for other women. I know that anger and feelling of betrayal.

And my BF who I'm with now, well I left him last yr, and in 3 weeks, he was already with a new girl.

People who need to hook up that quick and not mourn and heal from the last break-up are pretty empty people. They DREAD being alone physically, but trust me, they are SO alone emotionally.

 

Here's the good news, you are going through all the rollar coaster of emotions right now which will bring you to healing and he will not and spin out of control

 

By the way, men like this always come back. My ex always begged for me back when they realized they never healed from me

 

Embrace the anger because anger is what gets you over them

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I have been there and wore the T-shirt!

 

Reddevil is so right they do come back when they realise what they lost and realise they are not over it!

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I have read that so much these past two months; that out of men and women, men tend to come back more often.

 

I know there's a lot of generalizations and theories on these things, but does anyone their opinion on why that is?

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I can only speak for my situation, but both these ex's I talked about, both came back begging for me back. I hate the term begging, but this is what they did.

The ex of 11 yrs, I refused him so he ended up marrying the girl he left me for and I am SURE is cheating on her also.

 

My BF now, well his ego is as damaged as it is HUGE and I know for a fact he would never come back. Maybe if he left me, but in the past, I left him.

Though this BF is a little lacking in the soul dept so not sure

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Quote:

Originally Posted by phoenix1 viewpost.gif

H

I feel so lonely, and it kills me to know he's not lonely.

 

 

 

 

amen sister

 

sing it :lmao:

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