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Break up or just give her space?


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Hi

 

My g/f of 8 years left me 3 months ago out of the blue, stating she was not in love with me anymore. She moved to her Mums, but her Mum was completely on my side and was giving her grief everyday about her leaving me. Being a gentleman or doormat, I said to her she could stay in our flat and I would move in with my Mum for a few months whilst she thought things over.

 

Anyways we are scheduled to meet in September to discuss things, she is adamant that she will not change her mind so I presumed we would be sorting out things like what happens to joint bank accounts, insurance policies we shared etc etc. However I texted her recently and said "Look it appears you have mind up your mind about me, so it maybe for the best if we start sorting things out now?" (there seems no point in waiting until September to do the nitty gritty stuff if she already knows she won't be giving us another chance already?)

 

I fully expected her to text back saying that this was a good idea and she agreed seeing as it made things easier for her and made it clear we both knew it was over so we may as well start preparing for the fact. Her reply was " I appreciate everything you have done for me, I don't think you're a monster at all. But please just give me space and we'll sort things in September"

 

Also she recently moved offices, so I texted her asking for her new office number. I again expected either no reply or a reply to say she doesn't think I need it. I mean after all it seemed a perfect way for her to distance herself further by not giving me the option to call her at work....but she texted gave me her new work number.

 

I should add that there is no third party involved.

 

What do you guys think of all of this.....am I being stupid in thinking she may just want some space?

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I say just back off until September. Zero or very minimal contact with her, sort things out with yourself then sort things out with her when the time comes in September. Don't push for things either way for a full break-up or reconciliation, it'll only make things worse. So just lay low for the month or so.

 

I wouldn't hold my breath for this to work out though, which is why you should start phasing her out now in your head.

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utterer of lies

I should add that there is no third party involved.

 

As far as you know.

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Well she knows that if she wants to end things quickly all she has to do is tell me someone else is involved, and thats it, its over.

 

I have asked her directly and she says there is no-one else, and there are no signs that she is not telling the truth either.

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Well she knows that if she wants to end things quickly all she has to do is tell me someone else is involved, and thats it, its over.

 

I have asked her directly and she says there is no-one else, and there are no signs that she is not telling the truth either.

 

They NEVER tell the truth about this, because they dont want to feel the guilt of hurting you. So assume she is seeing someone else. Its been 8 years, you never know how long ago she checked out of your relationship.

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utterer of lies
Well she knows that if she wants to end things quickly all she has to do is tell me someone else is involved, and thats it, its over.

 

I have asked her directly and she says there is no-one else, and there are no signs that she is not telling the truth either.

 

Well, obviously she doesn't want to end things quickly. This doesn't mean there's not someone else involved.

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They NEVER tell the truth about this, because they dont want to feel the guilt of hurting you. So assume she is seeing someone else. Its been 8 years, you never know how long ago she checked out of your relationship.

 

Whilst I understand your point, I just can't see it.

 

I personally am sure she is not seeing anyone else, however perhaps its best I assume she is.

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Whilst I understand your point, I just can't see it.

 

I personally am sure she is not seeing anyone else, however perhaps its best I assume she is.

 

Assume she is, and stick to what WTRanger posted. Lay low, it hurts, but its better than keeping in contact with her and never getting the answers you might want. Let her miss you, she really could just want time to be able to miss you.

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