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Whats your take on this?


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Just curious what everyone thinks is a good period of time in beteen relationships that were serious? Long term b/f,g//f or fiance close to marriage? Was just wanting opinions on what peoples thoughts are on this.

Thanks.:)

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Whatever feels right to you. If you truly loved the other person it may be a year or two before you feel ready to date again. However if you checked out of the relationship emotionally a long time before it ended and you dumped the other person, you might be ready to move on immediately, and might walk out of one person's arms and straight into another's.

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Whatever feels right to you. If you truly loved the other person it may be a year or two before you feel ready to date again. However if you checked out of the relationship emotionally a long time before it ended and you dumped the other person, you might be ready to move on immediately, and might walk out of one person's arms and straight into another's.

Hello Thornton and thanks for your thoughts on this. So according to your thoughts if you were the dumper, and checked out before the relationship was actually over the dumper can go directly into arms of another and never have that alone/healing time we often hear about?

Have a great day!!:):bunny:

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When I was the dumper the first two rounds of a year and half relationships, I had someone else's arm to jump into within hours. It was easy. I never looked back at my ex (in that way).

 

When I was the dumpee in the most recent two rounds of a year plus a year and a half relationships. I was in so much pain. I lost weight. I always think about them. The latter was my rebound relationship for the former. Ironic huh.

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For dumpers, especially female ones, they can litterally have another relationship instantly, and in some cases, already do. For men and women alike, once you make the decision that leaving a relationship is the right thing to do, you tend to seek validation by interacting with the opposite sex and gauging your reaction. The better if feels, the worse off the RL is. Women tend to dump guys over a long period of time, thus when the hammer drops, theyre totally ready to move on or already have. Guys are at least confident they can get laid elsewhere for the time being lol

 

When youre on the recieving end its a different story. Chances are, you didnt see it coming, partly because your partner wasnt honest with you, and partly because you didnt want to. I can say that for me personally getting dumped completely wrecked my ego and self esteem. You go from feeling just fine to feeling like the biggest loser in the entire world. You feel embarrased to tell everyone, but you do just so they wont ask 'How's XXXXX doing?', and everyone tells you how much better you deserve, and how youll meet someone else, but will you? And the whole time, its just killing you knowing your ex is out there on the market right now, and rest assured, they are acting like it! So, most of the first year+ after the breakup is really just spent getting over them and the relationship, being ok with what happened, and being ready for some one else. Some people are ok within 6 months, most take at least half as long as the relationship was.

 

For me personally, if I was with someone for a year or longer, I would probably try and relax off dating for at least a year if I could. You could meet someone, and things could change, but Im a big fan of dating sabaticals. But to each their own...

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I agree. It depends on how emotionally committed to the relationship you were, as well as how resilient of a person you are.

 

If one was very emotionally committed, and if there was any dependancy then it's potentially going to take MUCH longer post break up to feel positive and happy again, and be interested in dating. Add any sort of environmental factors (relocation due to the break up, financial struggles etc) and this may exacerbate the challenge of feeling better post-break up.

 

This isn't to say that an individual won't seek another relationship posthaste, it's just to say that a person's core may still be hurting and they may carry that hurt into the next relationship.

 

I think a year is a good measure at minimum to heal thyself ;). One may just date very casually just to get out, but I think it's best to find some supportive friends and be outside as much as possible. Don't know if it's the fresh air, or the stimulation, or the sun, but whoa, there is something about being outside that rejuvenates the spirit.

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