BearPower Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 The truth about rebounds. So here is the score. I would appreciate as many answers as possible from everyones perspective. I dont have false hope anymore, in fact, I have no hope!!ahahaha So please dont think im looking for it. Just want some answers to behaviour. The story- Ex and I, together 5 years. Engaged 4.5 years. She leaves me and starts to have 'feelings' for someone else 2 weeks after breakup. She gets rejected as they have a partner. 1 month after breakup she meets another guy, 3 weeks after that she is 'very seriously In love' with ANOTHER guy and emails me to tell me how in love she is and how serious it is. Now folks, this is the DUMPER who does this, after leaving me to 'be on her own and enjoy single life' How can someone fall in love so fast and rub it in the dumpees face, when the dumpee has been nothing but kind? This to me, seems like she has a screw lose So let the analytic views roll in, Im looking for some answers to this kind of behaviour please. Link to post Share on other sites
Thornton Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 When people dump you they always say they want to be single, so as not to hurt your feelings. But usually they don't want to be single, they just don't want to be with you. If she emailed you to tell you she is in love with someone else, she is so over your relationship that it didn't even occur to her that you might not be. Link to post Share on other sites
wow123 Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 You have got to be kidding me. She should not be telling you anything about her romantic life after breaking your heart. She is being completely insensitive. I would say she is all messed up from the breakup. She either has no heart or is insane. Link to post Share on other sites
Exit Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 She's not worth caring about if "love" comes to her that easily. I'm sitting here suffering from a breakup with a girl who left a 4 year relationship to be with me, I should have seen it coming. They don't know what love is. Sounds like you guys went pretty quickly getting engaged 4.5yrs out of 5. Now she is moving quick with someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 Sound like you agreed to be "friends" after the break-up. She's just telling you what she would tell her friends: "met a new guy...OMG, he's awesome, I'm so in love!" After 5 years of being in a relationship, any new guy she's into is going to feel exciting, thrilling, and the initial infatuation or crush or interest can certainly feel like she's falling in love. Whatever it is, it feels that intense to her. And, as I said, she's sharing that with you because she's excited and that's what she does with friends - shares exciting news. Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 She sounds lame. I mean, totally lame. Yeah, she obviously checked out of the relationship before you two officially "broke up". I don't know, but this is definately childish and laaaaaaame behavior. That said, I don't think she's as happy as she claims either, I think she's BS ing. I don't think she's heartbroken over you, but probably one of her other lover boys, and she's looking to strike out at you for someone to hurt because she knows she can. Misery loves company, be glad you dodged the bullet with cruelle de vil here. Link to post Share on other sites
wow123 Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 It's absolutely rediculous. I would never talk about a new girl with my ex and she dumped me. I know she doesn't want to hear about it...who would? She's dumb! She can talk to you about everything else as a friend accept that. She isn't really in love with him, she just wants to be. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BearPower Posted June 16, 2009 Author Share Posted June 16, 2009 we never agreed to be friends, Doesnt matter if you dont know my story. You can find all the posts by SoulBear and BearPower An for the one who sadi she wants to share exciting news--read these first and then tell me she is trying to be kind...sheesh http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t191984/ Im so ****ing angry with her, but guess what, i didnt reply, and i never will. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 Hi Well yes, that's how it was. I felt like I couldn't tell you anything cos whenever I tried you'd just go "don't turn this around onto me". You just refused to see the part you had to play in our problems. Anyway. What's done is done. You deserve to know that I'm with someone else now. Not the guy from ninjutsu, and noone you know. Friends of ours in Edinburgh do know him though. We met at Knock, it's only recently blossomed but I'm very serious and very happy about it. I'm in Love. I wish you all the best and do hope that we can come to be friends. The ex Reading that, it sounds like you were carrying on a discussion regarding why the relationship ended. And then she goes on to tell you about the new guy...I dunno, it sounds like she wanted to tell you before you heard it from someone else. Or like she felt she needed to be honest with you about the new guy for some reason...such as, were you asking her about possible reconciliation and she wanted to make sure you understood that wasn't going to happen? Link to post Share on other sites
Author BearPower Posted June 16, 2009 Author Share Posted June 16, 2009 your right. you 'dunno'.. Forget it NJ Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 your right. you 'dunno'.. Forget it NJ You asked for: So let the analytic views roll in, Im looking for some answers to this kind of behaviour please. I gave you my interpretations. Clearly, my view is different from yours. You are dismissing it as not valid, but isn't a different viewpoint the kind that will help you understand your ex's behavior that you can't understand? If she thought the way you do, you wouldn't have this problem. She doesn't think the way you do. And, I'm starting to see what she meant in her first sentence of that email...she stopped talking to you because you really didn't want to hear her viewpoint. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BearPower Posted June 16, 2009 Author Share Posted June 16, 2009 I asked for a view of why dumpers do this, not your own personal view on my situation, which you quite obviously have not a clue about, or you would not try to be such a **** Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 :rolleyes: Link to post Share on other sites
wow123 Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 There is ABSOLUTELy no reason why she should be telling you this. She could have simply said " I am moving on and I think you should too". That would be far less hurtful but still letting you know where she stands. YOU DO NOT NEED TO KNOW THE DETAILS OF HER MOVING ON Link to post Share on other sites
Author BearPower Posted June 16, 2009 Author Share Posted June 16, 2009 NJ- you're very immature. But you cant get to me Please remove yourself from this thread wow123...you know my story Link to post Share on other sites
t0ri Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 Maybe she is intentionally trying to hurt you more. My ex deliberately did things to cause further pain after dumping me. He would send me text messages telling me how incredibly happy he is without me, and how glad he is that we're over, and he put things on his myspace status, knowing that I look at it, that he knew would hurt me more. (I stopped looking at that, though.) And guess what? I, too, have been nothing but kind to him throughout all of this. I have no idea why they would inflict more pain than necessary, but it seems to happen. My ex showed ZERO compassion, remorse, or kindness. NONE whatsoever...Which baffles me, as your situation does you. But that's just completely uncalled for, for her to send an email to you about her dating life. Maybe you should delete your email and create a new account? Or block her address, if possible. That's incredibly low of her to do that. Maybe she gets some sick validation from knowing that you know that she's actively dating, or maybe she's just trying to kill all hope that you have, in case you haven't done it yourself. But I can promise you she's not in love with this new guy, if he even exists. It's not the real thing after a few weeks of dating. She seems to be the type of girl who HAS to have a guy, rather than being content alone or not. Insecure. Good riddance of this inconsiderate chick. You deserve better. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author BearPower Posted June 16, 2009 Author Share Posted June 16, 2009 Tori, I agree with you 100% This email has really helped me to get over her, in fact, i lost every last ounce of respect for her. I wont reply either. I emailed our friends and told them i want nothing more to do with her ever again and told them why, and that I would appreciate it if they would let me know if she was going to be at any events we were both invited to so I could avoid her. She is just pathetic. Link to post Share on other sites
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