Ilovehim Posted April 2, 2009 Share Posted April 2, 2009 :sick: These are some of the things I did post break-up and lately I feel so humiliated at how I acted. 1. I cried to him so many times 2. I told him everything You can think of to show him he was the center of my world ( might have told him that too) 3. I told him I was willing to do ANYTHING just to have him in my life even if he wasnt in love with me anymore. 4. I slept with him knowing it was just sex and he didnt love me. 5. I begged him to get back with me 6. I begged him to be my friend And the list goes on and on...And the sad part is that I STILL LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY HEART after all this but I wish I wouldnt have been so damn pathetic. I feel so humiliated. I couldnt have brought myself any lower. Not only did I lose the man I loved, I downgraded myself to such a level that Im sure even he thought I was psychotic and pathetic. I remember the times I would see him and how he would look at me with such pity...How do I forget about this and stop feeling so humiliated????? I wish i could just hide under a rock...And the worst even after so long I still miss him and care about him. I failed in my classes last semester and lost my job, honestly it all went downhill and his life seems to be going perfect. Even if he missed me he did a great job at hiding it....what do I do now to regain my dignity and sanity back??? I kind of wish I could show him Im better now and that I know my actions were crazy ( the ones about sex at least) but I cant... HOW DO I REGAIN MY DIGNITY??? PLEASE SOMEONE TELL ME Link to post Share on other sites
Thomas X Forever Posted April 2, 2009 Share Posted April 2, 2009 You will regain your dignity by cutting him off 100% NC. Time will restore it all. You cannot break NC. Ever Link to post Share on other sites
era Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 With my last breakup I displayed the dignity of a 5 yr old. Go NC, don't allow him to have all this control over you. Link to post Share on other sites
sfsassy Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 With my last breakup I displayed the dignity of a 5 yr old. Go NC, don't allow him to have all this control over you. I can so relate to this. The only thing I didn't do was sleep with him after thee breakup. He hinted he wanted to since our chemistry was off the charts, lol, but as much as I was tempted just couldn't. Total NC is what FINALLY worked for me. Aso when I finally started to refuse to talk about the breakup, it gradually faded from my mind. When my best friend would bring it up, I would immediately ask about her life or talk about another aspect of my life. At first I was faking being over him, the relationship, but gradually as I willed myself not to think and especially talk about him, I actually got over him. Finally something stuck that my mother said. She said that I may have had my issues, but in the end the brekup was his fault, because instead of asking to work on both of our issues together he choose to walk away, when it got just a little difficult. (And I was insecure with him but his personality brought that out in me.) He actually told me that relationships should require no work, lol. I do agree that if it becomes ALL work that isn't good, but that some work is fine. Anyway, I rambled, but hope this helps. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 The best way for you to move on is to go NC. It may feel like you're the only suffering in all this, and it actually is, but for your sake and your sanity you have to move on. Because clinging on to the past would only hinder your ability to find peace and direction in your life. Link to post Share on other sites
sedgwick Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 I understand how you feel. Eight years ago, I totally debased myself in front of a guy who dumped me. Just complete craziness. And what I learned from that experience was that I would never let another breakup make me behave that way, because I hated myself afterwards. So when my most recent ex dumped me, I did my very best not to let him see how I was feeling. I cried and told him how much I loved him on the day he dumped me, but since then I have not called him even one single time. I feel bad that I even responded to his text messages. He's called me a couple of times and I've told him that I have no interest in being his friend; it's all or nothing. He said, "I can't give all," and I said, "Then this is where I give nothing." And I completely stopped talking to him for any reason whatsoever. The other day I saw him for the first time since the breakup (almost two years ago.) He was standing on the street and I walked past him like I didn't see him. My heart broke all over again, but HE DIDN'T SEE THAT. So I agree with what the others are saying: NC. From here on out, cut him completely out of your life. It's hard as hell but it's totally worth it. And try not to beat yourself up so much -- we've all been there. Link to post Share on other sites
messed-mind Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 Oh my, I've done exactly the same . I cringe when I look back at the things I said and did, and the BS I sucked up from her when she broke up with me. I feel like an absolute fool, but it's human to make mistakes, we act irrationally when emotions are involved. Don't worry, don't be angry; we've all done it to an extent. Go NC, cut him out, feel good about yourself and enjoy life. Link to post Share on other sites
EmperorR Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 You will regain your dignity by cutting him off 100% NC. Time will restore it all. You cannot break NC. Ever Agree, but the good point is, now you know what you did wrong, so next time if your in this situation you won't. I begged pleaded, wrote poems, sang songs, sent flowers, gifts, emails, cards, wrote long journals, did my ex homework, was disrespected etc., had no ounce of dignity no self respect when my ex fiance left me. called her cried on the phone, while she had the emotion of keanu reeves. This time around , "I think its better we should just remain friends, but I sitll love you". Left work early packed up the cards, gifts she sent me, mailed them fed ex:), deleted her from my phone, blocked her from facebook, msn, my email address, deleted her pictures emails etc., all of this half hour after she dumped me. Didn't ask her why, is there anything I could do to change it, etc. Nope, I guess the fuinny thing after being dragged through the mud by my ex fiance, I learnt there is nothing you can do to change the way someone feels about you. I thought after my Ex fiance, i'll never find anyone ever again, I'll never love bla bla and yet I did. And I know I will again one day. Oh I did and do care about her alot, but I left with my dignity and I learnt my lesson from before. Link to post Share on other sites
messed-mind Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 wrote poems You as well? Link to post Share on other sites
flash582 Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 You as well? Didn't we all? And cry to every single song on the radio? Link to post Share on other sites
elizabeth26 Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 I agree, you should take time for yourself and have no contact with your ex. I know what it's like to feel like you can't be seen as sane by the person you are crazy about but I'm slowly getting over it and understanding alot about myself I wouldn't have otherwise. Talk to someone about your feelings, I kept a journal and it made the process so much easier to handle. It makes a difference to go back and see how you felt at another sadder time, like you can be objective to the emotions that controlled your actions, I believe we are our own best therapists but we need to find others maybe in similar situations and heal ourselves together. I used to try to keep an open door for him, make it easy for him to come back. It's hard to do alone, don't keep yourself locked up thinking about him explore the things you once enjoyed, find something that fascinates you. You will learn to love the person you are and forgive moments of weakness, you acted in that way out of love, you sacrificed your pride for the one you loved, it is hard to separate the actions you made from the intentions you had, believe I know how you feel... My ex thought he was doing me a favor by letting me run back to him. I hope you get everything you deserve, and find yourself in your healing. Link to post Share on other sites
sparklemama Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 I have done every single thing on that list so dont feel bad its your raw emotions and its natural as long as you know now that your not going to go back to that.Its time to now move forward NC and focusing on yourself.I know its hard but you can do it and in the end you will never regret it.Go out with friends and make the most out of the time you have.The more time your sitting at home thinking of him the greater chance that you will call him.Do not give him that power of watching you deteriorate in front of his eyes all because of him.If he really loved you he could not watch you go through all the pain and continue to hurt you.He sticks around for the power control that he feels around you and because your a sure thing.I am currently in the same situation but i am struggling with NC right now.I cried on the phone to him literally sounding like i was having a nervous breakdown only for him to pretty much give me an an attidude .I have begged him lets just try for one more month and if it doesnt work then we can break ties completely only for him to tell me no and leave him alone.I have called him over and over again practically 10-15 times in one day in hopes that he can talk to me only for him not to answer his phone.He feels important and has the comfort of knowing that i will be there if he chooses to want me back but i have decided that i will not give him that choice and its my choice this time.I think you should do the same.Wish you the best.Take care! Link to post Share on other sites
alwayssme Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 I agree, you should take time for yourself and have no contact with your ex. I know what it's like to feel like you can't be seen as sane by the person you are crazy about but I'm slowly getting over it and understanding alot about myself I wouldn't have otherwise. Talk to someone about your feelings, I kept a journal and it made the process so much easier to handle. It makes a difference to go back and see how you felt at another sadder time, like you can be objective to the emotions that controlled your actions, I believe we are our own best therapists but we need to find others maybe in similar situations and heal ourselves together. I used to try to keep an open door for him, make it easy for him to come back. It's hard to do alone, don't keep yourself locked up thinking about him explore the things you once enjoyed, find something that fascinates you. You will learn to love the person you are and forgive moments of weakness, you acted in that way out of love, you sacrificed your pride for the one you loved, it is hard to separate the actions you made from the intentions you had, believe I know how you feel... My ex thought he was doing me a favor by letting me run back to him. I hope you get everything you deserve, and find yourself in your healing. i love this post. Link to post Share on other sites
alwayssme Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 I have done every single thing on that list so dont feel bad its your raw emotions and its natural as long as you know now that your not going to go back to that.Its time to now move forward NC and focusing on yourself.I know its hard but you can do it and in the end you will never regret it.Go out with friends and make the most out of the time you have.The more time your sitting at home thinking of him the greater chance that you will call him.Do not give him that power of watching you deteriorate in front of his eyes all because of him.If he really loved you he could not watch you go through all the pain and continue to hurt you.He sticks around for the power control that he feels around you and because your a sure thing.I am currently in the same situation but i am struggling with NC right now.I cried on the phone to him literally sounding like i was having a nervous breakdown only for him to pretty much give me an an attidude .I have begged him lets just try for one more month and if it doesnt work then we can break ties completely only for him to tell me no and leave him alone.I have called him over and over again practically 10-15 times in one day in hopes that he can talk to me only for him not to answer his phone.He feels important and has the comfort of knowing that i will be there if he chooses to want me back but i have decided that i will not give him that choice and its my choice this time.I think you should do the same.Wish you the best.Take care! I can relate to this as well...i acted like that in the begining...except i didnt call him alot..well only one day i kept on calling him...and he turned off his phone...lol..i dont want to remember because it annoys me Link to post Share on other sites
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