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Do they feel anything at all after dumping you?


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I have recently been dumped by my boyfriend of 9 months, i have little girl who is 2. He would always talk about me and my little girl being in his future..we spoke of marriage, he even asked me to move in last week.. he always told me he loved me. My little girl called him daddy and adored him and he adored her. He got along with my family as they were his own. He told me he'd always be there and we'd work through every issue that came up. I don't understand.. we had a disagreement on friday night after a few drinks and then on sunday he dropped everything that belonged to me around to my place and left, it is now wednesday and i havn't heard from him.. i've texted, i've emailed, i've phoned and yet nothing.. like he's dropped off the face of the earth. We purchased 6 tickets to a football game that is this friday and he asked for the tickets when he dropped my stuff around at first i said no and then gave in and sent them to him yesterday telling him to have a good night and that my sister and her partner were looking forward to going so that if he ever cared he can organise the tickets with them. My sister called later that day stating he had called her approx an hour after i sent him the tickets and asked her if she wanted to go, she wants to go because she loves football. I feel so uncared for that this guy that supposedly loves/loved me walked out on me and my daughter and is going to the footy with my sister her partner and his mates while i sit at home and suffer even though both him and i made those plans together i'm the only one left out. I'm a little upset with my sister for accepting as well. Do they feel anything after they dump you? do they regret it? how can they stop loving you in a matter of days? are they just emotionally retarded. I'm in so much pain and don't know what to do.

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That sounds like a very suspect ending, I could be wrong

 

Your sister is well out of order going to that game, family should stick together not make things worse!

 

I cant say how he feels as there is no real reason for your break up (that he has told you)

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I think he must of had it in the back of his mind for awhile to end the relationship, speak to your sister after the game, I am sure he will tell her what is going on. It seems like a very cowardly thing to do on his part

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LucreziaBorgia
how can they stop loving you in a matter of days?

 

They don't. They generally take a couple of months or more to let you go emotionally before they actually break up with you. By the time they do, they are ready to move on and often do without a backward glance.

 

It isn't terribly obvious when they are letting go - they generally hide it until they get to the point where they are sure they want to let go.

 

Don't be surprised if he ends up with your sister. It sounds like they both might have had that in mind.

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I'm a little upset with my sister for accepting as well.

 

You should have told her you would prefer it if she didnt go. Trust me, some people are completely oblivious. I've had GOOD freinds show up at a party with an ex of mine and than say 'I didnt think you would care' lol Like, why in the world would I want to hang out with this person, or have them around me picking up other dudes?

 

Like I said, though, some people take keeping your distance as a sign of weakness, or they think you just need to get over it, so why not start now? I would be annoyed, too, but I would be calling my sister and saying 'dont go' unless she was fishing for info, which I doubt he would give her (honestly) anyway.

 

Do they feel anything after they dump you?

 

Im sure they do, but if you spent a few months coming to the conclusion that you should dump somebody, you would probably feel a little guilt/sadness, and some relief. Think about it, if you wanted out of a relationship, what would you feel after you got out?

 

Im sure they miss us and all, but honestly, its not the same. They decided you werent the one long before telling you, and then BS'd you for as long as it took to grow the balls to end it. You were no doubt the last one to know.

 

do they regret it?

 

The only decisions we regret are the ones we decide were the wrong ones to make. If he decided that ending things was good for him, whats to regret? I know that sounds harsher than I mean it to, but I tell a buddy of mine all the time the same thing. He wants his ex to just admit she made a mistake and ask for him back, but the first part - BELIEVING she made a mistake, may very well never happen. Dont underestimate the power of an ego, too. A lot of people would die before admitting they messed up.

 

how can they stop loving you in a matter of days?

 

Believe it or not, he could very well still love you. He just loves you like you love your aunt, best friend, cousin, etc...not in the way you want him to.

 

And believe me, he spent at least 2 months detaching himself before ending it. By that time, HE had healed, so it just seems like he doesnt care. Im sure thats not true, he was just mentally ready, but didnt tell you until then.

 

This guy is also a coward. Come on, at least have the decency to end things. People that do the dissapearing act and then refuse to be a man piss me off. Grow a pair buddy, you make all guys look bad.

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I don't know what was said or happened during your nasty argument, but it was enough for him to turn his back on you. Honestly, if he is going to stay in touch with your sister by calling her to make arrangements for the game, he is probably just trying to get back at you. He's angry with you right now. People do use breaking up as a way to get back at one another. Its childish, but it happens. He may have planned to break up with you, but he might not have.

 

Right now, I'm sure he is hurt. What you two need is time apart. In this time he will have thought of your relationship and if breaking up was a good idea. Thats the trouble with breaking up with someone. You'd better be sure its what you want, because if it isn't, then you are the one burdened with trying to get that person back.

 

I hope you don't contact him again. Doing so will only push him away. I wish you the best of luck and hope you can work things out. If not, then I guess it wasn't meant to be. Sorry you are hurting.

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