Truly Lost Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 Well the ex's birthday is coming up and he sent me a text saying "Happy Birthday" back on my birthday in January. We had spoken since then and it wasn't good and we are still not talking, so now should I do this for him? I'm considering this little stresser because he owes me money. Since he sent a meaningless "Happy birthday" text to me does it obiligate me to send one to him? I want to get what is owed to me, but I'm worried that if I ignor his birthday, he might take it as I don't care and therefore he isn't going to pay me back. I don't know what to do. I thought I would just ignor the date and not send anything. What do you guys think I should do? Link to post Share on other sites
BCCA Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 Ignore the date. It's the absolute right thing to do. If that has any impact on whether or not he pays you back, trust me, he wasn't going to pay you anyway, and was just looking for a reason. Why does he owe you money, and how much are we talking here? Also, who broke up with who? Link to post Share on other sites
IcemanJB Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 Ask for the money now. It's yours. Then make the decision of whether to wish him happy birthday or not. Those two things should have nothing to do with each other. My ex's birthday is coming up in a little over a week too, so I'm right there with you. Haven't spoken to her in 3 months, but still haven't even put much thought into wishing her happy birthday. Guess I don't really care as much anymore! Only wish him happy birthday if you really REALLY mean it. Ask yourself why you would want to do this for him. Link to post Share on other sites
sad_panda Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 My ex greeted me on my birthday two weeks ago. His birthday is coming up next way but I decided I'm not going to greet him. Maybe Christmas, but definitely not anytime soon. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Truly Lost Posted February 19, 2009 Author Share Posted February 19, 2009 Ask for the money now. It's yours. Then make the decision of whether to wish him happy birthday or not. Those two things should have nothing to do with each other. My ex's birthday is coming up in a little over a week too, so I'm right there with you. Haven't spoken to her in 3 months, but still haven't even put much thought into wishing her happy birthday. Guess I don't really care as much anymore! Only wish him happy birthday if you really REALLY mean it. Ask yourself why you would want to do this for him. I don't really want to send any greeting to him because, well I just have no desire to. I just thought about the fact that he owes me a couple thousand and he said he wants to pay me back, but wanted to deliver it to me in person in $200.00 increments at the end of every month till he paid me off. Well, last month he came by and it really messed me up and hurt (to see him again and not be like we were), so I told him that I would prefer that he leave payments in my mailbox instead. He agreed, but was seemingly disappointed at my decision to not see him. He didn't explain why. So now, I wonder, if I do ignore his birthday and not send at least a text, like he did for me, will he say to himself, screw her I don't need to make any effort to pay her back. I just don't want to make any mistakes. I want to be able to recoupe my losses. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Truly Lost Posted February 19, 2009 Author Share Posted February 19, 2009 Ask for the money now. It's yours. Then make the decision of whether to wish him happy birthday or not. Those two things should have nothing to do with each other. My ex's birthday is coming up in a little over a week too, so I'm right there with you. Haven't spoken to her in 3 months, but still haven't even put much thought into wishing her happy birthday. Guess I don't really care as much anymore! Only wish him happy birthday if you really REALLY mean it. Ask yourself why you would want to do this for him. I don't really want to send any greeting to him because, well I just have no desire to. I just thought about the fact that he owes me a couple thousand and he said he wants to pay me back, but wanted to deliver it to me in person in $200.00 increments at the end of every month till he paid me off. Well, last month he came by and it really messed me up and hurt (to see him again and not be like we were), so I told him that I would prefer that he leave payments in my mailbox instead. He agreed, but was seemingly disappointed at my decision to not see him. He didn't explain why. So now, I wonder, if I do ignore his birthday and not send at least a text, like he did for me, will he say to himself, screw her I don't need to make any effort to pay her back. I just don't want to make any mistakes. I want to be able to recoupe my losses. Link to post Share on other sites
Ricky01 Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 I say, if you dont wish to be connected to him, then just ignore it all. Don't worry about the money; it is evil in many ways, and this is serving nothign more than an anchor. I wont sound liek i know the answers, I dont, I am lost also. I am 70% hoping my ex dont send me any type of communication for my bday, even though I did to her. But in my case I KNOW, I still love her and not in the simple puppy dog way. I dont want the message from her, because it will just confuse my simple life. I have since forgot the amount of $ owed and could care less. I would rather beg and die before I ever contacted her for anything to help me out. I hope you can identify your true intentions, and the enact accordingly. Link to post Share on other sites
pr-girl Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 I say, "no." Do not call or text him. Forget about the money. We all lose something at the end of a relationship. I've lost money as well. Let it go. Link to post Share on other sites
MeMyself&I Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 Truly Lost, I'm not saying this is the answer, but I wanted to share this with you. When my ex broke up with me a couple years ago, the same one I just broke up with last month, I got onto Microsoft Word, made out a professional invoice, itemized all he owed, sent it too him by mail and told him he had a certain date to pay it off or I would send it to collection. He was pissed! He called me that night like WTF. I said just pay what you owe me and we'll be done with it. When he didn't pay I sent him one last, final notice for him to pay. I never mentioned the relationship or anything personal. It was a totally professional transaction. He paid!! Of course your guy may not react the same way but it did work for me. He even approached me a year later and we dated again. (probably not typical so I don't want to get your hopes up). I don't know to me 2,000 dollars is a lot of money---mine was even less. I guess you have to decide if it is more harmful or beneficial.....at that time I was so pissed at my ex.......I did not care and loved to see him squirm. Link to post Share on other sites
lynne1973 Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 truly Lost, I'm in the same boat. my ex owes me money from a 5000 loan i made to him(which he signed a contract to pay me back) plus money He agreed to go half with me on the laptop i purchased for him. well, after a yr and a half i ended the relationship cuz i found out he was sleeping around on me. but thru it all, I never did get a dime from him(he was suppose to start paying me back on the loan in Nov 08) and never got paid his half of the laptop. well, when i knew I was going to break it off with him, i simply could not walk away empty handed. i knew that the $ part was probably have to be a loss for me, called it a wash. but still i had to recoup something from my losses. so i hatched a plan to make one last visit to him, like any of my other regular visits to him (im in Fla he's in Jamaica)pretended everything was all honky-dory a-ok, and un-beknownst to him, on my second day there, when he left to do an errand, i quickly packed up the laptop and my stuff and took off! and haven't looked back since. and sure enough, the laptop confirmed all my suspicions. it was loaded with female pics from a whole bunch of women emailing him on his personal pages and such. some were even naked photos. bottom line is, as far as the $ is concerned, like i said, I will probably have to call that a wash and cut my losses. and just take it as a very expensive lesson learned. if you think you can pursue this for the sake of the $ alone and still keep ur peace of mind, then i say go for it. if not, then money is not as important as ur peace of mind and saving ur heart from more heartache by keeping in contact w/him. u will probably just have to cut ur losses and take is as a very expensive lesson learned. for your own sake, cuz many times, its just not worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
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