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I been in no contact for a little over a month now and have finally took her off my friends list on FB. It feels good to know that I can't see her profile only to set me back but she can still se mine.

 

My question is, do any of you use FB to your advantage by showing him/her indirectly like your improving as a person and all around bettering yourself even though its an indirect form of contact. Or just act like you never go on and become a mystery to him/her? Im not on all the time but I'll update it once a week.

 

This is an interesting topic for people in NC. Thoughts?

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Facebook is just another hurdle when your trying to heal yourself. Personally, I made my profile private so that they have no idea what your up to...If they can see your updates and everything that your up to, wheres the mystery in that?

 

Bettering yourself and personal improvement shouldnt be on facebook for them to see, you've got nothing to prove to them now, its for your personal benefit!

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I think I'll keep mine public for a little while longer since I got girls interested and hittin up my wall. I know she looks at my stuff cause I got a Myspace profile tracker and basically these 2 sites go hand in hand, you look at them both everytime you go on. I think in a couple weeks I'll make it private. I just want her to know that she doesn't have power over me anymore and I think by her lookin at my **** while she knows I can't look at hers since it is private swings the power to my side.

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NO. If you use Facebook to show her that you are moving on, she'll probably just think you're using it to get back at her. You did the right think by blocking her, so she can't see the profile. She'll wonder even more what's going on with you to the point she'll probably start stalking you.

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If she was nasty to you... show her up and show her what she is missing.

 

BEYOND NASTY! Strung me along for 4 months after the break-up sayin she wanted to get back together. Got a new boyfriend 3 months into stringing me along and she didnt tell me and I found out a month later and she STILL had the nerve to tell me she wanted to be with me later on just not NOW.

 

And YUP since these girls started hittin my wall up, she has looked at my profile 4 times since yesterday. Hope it ruins her Valentines day :cool:

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NO. If you use Facebook to show her that you are moving on, she'll probably just think you're using it to get back at her. You did the right think by blocking her, so she can't see the profile. She'll wonder even more what's going on with you to the point she'll probably start stalking you.

 

I did it in a subtle fashion. Didnt really start updating it until a week ago and the pictures of me that were recently added were added by other people and they just tagged me so its not like Im putting all this stuff up myself.

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Clarenceturbo

You are just hoping she notices your stuff. and since you know she is i guess, that it satisfies your need for the moment. it wont last long though and she will become sick of seeing what is happening with you. Really though, dont worry about myspace or facebook or even talking to this person. just dont have anything to do with them. it will work out better in the end. either you will move on (hopefully) or they will come back.....you will give yourself some options....but heal yourself too. good luck

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She doesn't need to know what you are doing. You don't need to make it so that she gets to see anything -- that's manipulative on your part. It's a silly game. That time could have been wisely taken for you to heal and move on -- not tracking her views on MySpace and Facebook.

 

So now you find out that she was with someone else for a while... it's her right to choose as long as she doesn't 'cheat' on you within the relationship. All that time spent with your settings on Facebook, does it make you feel better now that you know? Will it make you take her back? Probably not. What did it do FOR YOU?

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She doesn't need to know what you are doing. You don't need to make it so that she gets to see anything -- that's manipulative on your part. It's a silly game. That time could have been wisely taken for you to heal and move on -- not tracking her views on MySpace and Facebook.

 

So now you find out that she was with someone else for a while... it's her right to choose as long as she doesn't 'cheat' on you within the relationship. All that time spent with your settings on Facebook, does it make you feel better now that you know? Will it make you take her back? Probably not. What did it do FOR YOU?

 

 

True that, I have been making a lot of progress with moving on and yes it does satisfy me for the moment. Im not gonna stress it anymore. What's done is done. Success is the ultimate revenge.

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I find this interesting as I posted a topic just a while back, as my ex just tried to add me to her friends list. (of course I just ignored it).

 

From my personal point of view (and it's just mine), that if she was already on your facebook, and you on hers, I'd say just leave it. Of course this depends on the nature of the relationship, and all factors considered related to the breakup. If deleting helps you heal, fine. If it doesn't, fine. Just don't play games or over analyze the "what if" scenario. It just proves at that point that you still care, and that you are letting him/her still have an unhealthy influence in your life. If he/she wants to know what you're doing, that's their problem. Doesn't mean that you have to go on their page. Then again, like I said, it's just my opinion.

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This is always in interesting and touchy topic.

 

I think it's pretty important that you not see her FB page for awhile until you're healed. I deactivated my account for about 2 months after we broke up. Just a few weeks ago I reactivated, and the first thing I did was have someone log into my account and remove my ex as a friend. Stayed like this for about a week, but I kept getting updates regarding her since we have many mutual friends, so I added her back (which she accepted right away).

 

I added her back because I figured I'm at the point that no matter what it will always hurt a little bit to see stuff about her, so I might as well get used to it. I'm healed enough that I'm borderline indifferent as to what she's up to. The reason I know this is because I've looked at her profile MAYBE twice in the past 3 weeks. This would have driven me crazy had I not deactivated awhile back.

 

Heal first, ask questions later.

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I kept my profile private. I don't want to post stuff with a nagging thought at the back of my head that I'm doing it for my ex. At least now that my profile is private, I can post anything I want without hoping that he'll see my cool pics, or read my profound thoughts, etc. I don't want him to have power over me anymore.

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I deleted him off on the first day and then (thanks to some advice I've got here) I blocked him too.

I don't think I will want to add him back, he's not my friend or someone I want to be friends with. Also, if I am not interested on knowing about someone, what's the point of having them as friends?

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i especially made it a point not to check my ex's facebook. i deactivated my account for a long time so that i wouldn't be tempted. it made me feel awful and terrible every time i looked at his profile. i honestly don't know if he ever looks at mine. it doesn't matter to me either way. i am now back on fb and still only very, very rarely check his profile. it no longer hurts to see his wall or photos, but i don't make a habit of it because, well, i don't care what he's doing. i didn't de-friend him or anything like that because i felt it would come off as petty rather than something i was doing for my own good. i did, however, block him on ichat because he continued to try to contact me.

 

i think facebook is one of the worst inventions of the past 10 years.

 

eta: we're also both in nc.

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I think that all social networking sites can cause more damage than good when trying to heal.

It is so hard everytime you log on and she/he has updated their status or has new pictures of them having fun or anything like that.

Personally, I'm thinking of blocking my ex. But at the same time, I cannot see what is wrong with having updates showing that you're having a good time. I'm part of a large group of friends, both guys and girls and the girls always take their cameras with them on nights out. They always upload the pics on FB. I don't think that it's showing off if you're being tagged in photos on nights out. If your ex does check your page-they may think you are trying to make them jealous or whatever, but at the same time I think it's a strong indication to her/him that you can live without them and are moving on with better people who want to be with you. But it's personal opinion really. The will power needed to stay off their page is immense, but in all honesty my ex can think what they like of me-because I know the truth about myself-and I am a stronger person than to worry over what my ex thinks about me-they don't want to be in my life so I don't care about their opinion-it sounds harsh but the pain that my ex has put me through has made me realise they aren't worth worrying about, someone who truely loves you would never put you through that much pain.

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