Jump to content

Confuse


Recommended Posts

I broke up with my g/f of 2 years. My questions is this: Why does every single girl that breaks up with you wants to be your friend at the end of the relationship? I'm not going into detail on my break up. But just in general, why just stay friends? Does she want to let you go easy? Does she feel sorry? I told my ex that I would agree to be her friend unless she sees some other guy. Do you guys think that was right of me? Well, what's you opinion?

 

thanks

Link to post
Share on other sites

i never stay friends. if it's over, it's over. all i do after that is be polite.

staying "friends" only prolonges the deatchment and healing period... and u cant rlly be friends with an ex-lover, especially not right after a break up (perhaps years down the road...)

 

thats my way,

-yes

Link to post
Share on other sites

it's a way to let someone down easy - to say that she doesn't reject you as a person - but that you are not the right fit for a lover. the problem is that someone gets hurt more in the end thinking that there might be a chance of reconciliation.

Link to post
Share on other sites

My last 2 boyfriends wanted that. But I'm back with one of them...the other one wants to get back together. I think it's a way of saying bye without letting go...just in CASE.

Link to post
Share on other sites

But do you guys think I should stay friends with her? I've been hanging out with her as if nothing happened. But we flirted a little bit. She told me the reason was that in the last couple of months, she didn't feel connected to me like before. What did she mean?? maybe i'm dumb about the whole break-up. But I was just wondering what is up. I think I could handle being her friend until either two things happen: one, she finds someone, or two, i find someone. Regardless, unless we get back together, I don't know about a future with her. Am I doing something dumb?

Link to post
Share on other sites

hey lou, I've been where you are, unless you are looking for a free piece of cake...(u know what I mean), I think you should leave her, or at least let you n her cool things off for a while.

 

People tend to miss you if you go m.i.a. that is so sad of human behavior...

 

Last of all, you can't actually be just 'friends' with someone that you used to love and whom you still have feelings for...

 

Think logic and follow your heart...

 

Spike.

Link to post
Share on other sites

ally:

maybe that could be the case...hmm..i cant really judge because I don't your situation. I personally don't think exs. cant be just friends, espcially right after break-ups, unless both of you all meet up again after say...2-3 years? By then, I suppose all the feelings would have subside.

 

My point is...most guys(not all) are all after the same thing, that includes me, I'm not gonna hide that fact. But at least I'm responsible, and I always try not to go into the 'dark' side...know what I mean?

 

Well, I'm a VERY logical person, what I have just said is only my opinions..hope it doesn't pisses anyone off...

 

Cheers, Spike

Link to post
Share on other sites

there's just "leaning on each other" until someone else comes along - break it off clean! this way you'll be emotionally ready when ms. right comes along.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I believe that after you decide to break up, being friends immediately brings nothing buy emotional problems for you. Whenever the dumper breaks off a relationship they always insist on trying to be friends. This is where the problem lies. Being friends will have to come down the road after you have moved on to something better.

 

FYI I was seperated from my spouse several years ago. And we cut the relationship off like Marie Antoinette and the Guillotine. This believe it or not helped me rebound after about 2 months. I still at some times get upset but not too much. I could still talk to her at this point and be fine!

Link to post
Share on other sites
Originally posted by Ally Boo

My last 2 boyfriends wanted that. But I'm back with one of them...the other one wants to get back together. I think it's a way of saying bye without letting go...just in CASE.

 

I too have stayed friends with the last two guys i dated. One i am still very good friends with, however we will never get back together, or atleast not in my mind. We are just great friends now and hang out easily. The other guy i broke up with quite harshly and we were initially friends, then i got upset and angry so were stopped being friends, but now its all ok again and we are friends again. But this friendship is more like 'if i see you i will say hi, otherwise, have a nice life'. He is the type of guy that doesn't like having enemies and prefers to be friends with everyone.

 

Unfortunately the second relationship gives me false hope because i think by still being friends there is a chance the relationship may flair up again. :-S ... however he's with another girl now.

 

Ally, you are lucky if your dating a nice guy a second time around. :-)

 

 

 

Originally posted by Spike

ally:

maybe that could be the case...hmm..i cant really judge because I don't your situation. I personally don't think exs. cant be just friends, espcially right after break-ups, unless both of you all meet up again after say...2-3 years? By then, I suppose all the feelings would have subside.

 

My point is...most guys(not all) are all after the same thing, that includes me, I'm not gonna hide that fact. But at least I'm responsible, and I always try not to go into the 'dark' side...know what I mean?

 

Well, I'm a VERY logical person, what I have just said is only my opinions..hope it doesn't pisses anyone off...

 

Cheers, Spike

 

i disagree Spike, read my post above.

 

 

Oh well, thats my feedback.

 

Goodluck all. :-)

Link to post
Share on other sites

It's just been my experience that you can't be friends. I mean maybe if I wasn't with the other guy it would be different, but I don't think so. Espeically if one person is in love with the other one...and the other has no feelings left. It's just too complicated.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Originally posted by Ally Boo

Espeically if one person is in love with the other one...and the other has no feelings left. It's just too complicated.

 

yes i do agree with that. But i guess it also depends on how both parties deal with the situation too.

 

:-)

Link to post
Share on other sites

Everyone is different. But it has been my experience with both ex bf's that have tried to be friends, that it's impossible. Now, my ex husband, I haven't tried to be friends with, and we still have problems...so maybe its just me! LOL

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...