Justmike101 Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 She had certain expectations. Wealth, status, emotional support, and adventure. I had my expectations: Security, commitment, communication, and spiritual support. She saw that I did not live up to her expectations in all of her ways. She could not accept that it would take risk for me to rise up out of my circumstance. She didn’t think she could profit. She was looking out for herself. So she moved on and is happy with someone else, for now. I needed her to be patient and understanding. I know I am a capable guy and she ditched me and left me in the dirt when I failed in some area. I needed her to support me because I know I can do it. I was hung up over her because it ended in her terms at her pace. In the end, she summed me up with the part of my failure as a whole person. I don’t need that. I am not a failure and she is wrong to have treated me the way she did. Bottom line is there was no commmunication and there was no compromise. She tried to force her dreams and tried to coerce me to change to meet her expectations. I wanted to create a dream together. This is why I hurt so much more than her. This is why I learned so much about myself and her. She said many things, saying that she regrets giving her heart to me in the first place. She said she regrets giving me her virginity. She said she will get a restraining order if I ever messaged her again on AIM. Yet she could have simply put me on block or removed her mobile number from her AIM. She said a lot of things intentionally to hurt me so that she can get away from me and feel free. This is not an acceptable treatment. I know that she said this because she didn’t want to regret her decision to dump me. She didn’t want to be held back. But as many experienced people say, when I am completely healed and moved on, it’s always during these times they come back to check up on you. She will realize that she no longer has power over me and I am no longer slave to the pain and rejection. She will see that I have gained full power and respect for myself again and do not need her to check up on me anymore. Then she will want me more and I’m probably going to have to tell her that there’s just no way things could be salvaged. Bridges have been burned and a lot of other people, including family and friends, were hurt as a result of the breakup. Maybe this will happen. Maybe not. What helps me now is that what she does is no longer any of my business and what I do is none of hers. I don’t owe her anything. It takes two to hold up the roof, and if one of the pillar falls and breaks, it is no longer your responsibility to still hold up the roof. You can drop it now and walk away. You are not obligated any longer. Take your power back. Pursue your dream again. The old dream with her/him is dead. You are in control of your destiny and emotions. Do not be slave to them. Refuse depression. Understand thoroughly what went wrong. Form a conclusion and stick to it. You will remember them but your ex will not have the power over you anymore. Love is empowering. Love is encouraging and it builds. But right now, the Source of your pain is your ex. Frankly, at this point she/he is your enemy. What you are feeling right now is not love. It is wicked pain. Work on yourself and realize your ex is not the only unique person in the world. There are many. If you really were meant to be, you would be with that person right now. Link to post Share on other sites
DSM-IV Tom Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 Keeping an online diary for the public to read, are we? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Justmike101 Posted February 11, 2009 Author Share Posted February 11, 2009 Keeping an online diary for the public to read, are we? yes so people who care can come in and make smartass comments and pretend they don't really care. Do me a favor and piss off I am only here to share my story in hopes that it could help others. If you have nothing else to say I'd ask you to not join me anymore in the threads that I make. In other words, you are not welcome in my threads. Of course, i can't force you if u still wanna stick around and give ur 2 cents. All I'm saying is it is not welcome and it won't be respected. Link to post Share on other sites
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