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The Apology


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So I get an email from my ex... who may or may have not left me for someone else after 6 years (although the evidence is leaning towards he did).

 

And basically he says - "I am sorry for everything. I never meant to hurt you. I feel badly that I did. I am not quite ready to talk about it yet but I will let you know when I am. I hope you are doing well."

 

Doesn't this apology basically mean - I FEEL GUILTY FOR ALL THE SH8T I PUT YOU THROUGH BUT THAT'S HOW THE COOKIE CRUMBLES. BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME.

 

Or am I being to harsh?

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Well.. it's possible that he's beign sincere in an effort to apologize for hurting you. How long has the R been over?

 

Mea:)

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He broke up with me on the 29th of Dec. I found the pictures of him with another girl on Jan 25th or so and sent them to him. He didn't reply. The pictures were taken Dec 12thish... The girl now list that she is in a relationship on FB. He is the only guy in her pictures.

 

His reason for the break up (which was totally out of the blue) was that he wasn't ready for marriage and doesn't know if he will ever be ready and I deserve someone who knows.

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he wasn't ready for marriage and doesn't know if he will ever be ready and I deserve someone who knows

 

 

Ouch! I'm sorry you've had to go through this. But, it's sounds to me like he was beign honest with you about the fact that he is not ready to settle down. That email could have been a true apology for the hurt he caused you. Have you asked him why he sent you a message?

 

Mea:)

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Well he also owes me money... So in the second paragraph he said "I would like to get you the money I owe you. I just want to make sure I have your address right, so please email me back with it." (I recently moved, in case you are wondering why he wouldn't know it after 6 years)

 

So I wrote back - "J - Thank you for the email. My address is ........ - R"

 

I hated how in his email he started with "Hey R" It seemed to casual. And only a month ago we were using pet names and were so close and playful. It is so hard!

 

How was my email back to him????

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How was my email back to him????

 

Sounds like your email was very short and to the point. Let me ask you what is it that you expect from this guy?

 

Mea:)

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Sounds like your email was very short and to the point. Let me ask you what is it that you expect from this guy?

 

Mea:)

 

I am not really sure. I guess there is always the hope that he would come back. Realizing he made a mistake. Profess his love to me. Even if I don't take him back.. It would make me feel better. Like I said in my other thread, I feel worthless and unlovable. I just want to feel like I am worthy enough for someone to be so content with me that they have no desire to go somewhere else. I want to be their "perfect", even though no one is ever perfect. I want someone to love me as much as I love them.

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sounds to me like things might not be going all to well with the new girl and he wants to keep the door open to see if you will consider taking him back. that is my guess.

 

you will have to decide what you want and if you are willing to take him back if that is what he is thinking.

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So I get an email from my ex... who may or may have not left me for someone else after 6 years (although the evidence is leaning towards he did).

The evidence you found on Facebook of he with another girl...how did you find that? Do you have her as a friend, or how did you even think to look for this girl on Facebook? And how did you see her profile and the photos/relationship status? Well, that definitely says it all though. He is guilty.

 

And basically he says - "I am sorry for everything. I never meant to hurt you. I feel badly that I did. I am not quite ready to talk about it yet but I will let you know when I am. I hope you are doing well."

He should be sorry for everything. He strung you along in a relationship for 6 years, and then decided he wasn't ready for marriage yet? How old is this guy? Pretty damn selfish. Did he just out of the blue break up with you one day, or were things heading downhill for awhile?

 

I am not sure why he selfishly states that he is not ready to talk about it with you yet...as though you are just sitting around waiting to discuss it further with him. Have you asked him for answers, and that is why he said this? Because it sounds awfully arrogant of him.

 

What more is there to talk about? He took up 6 years of your life, clearly met someone else, and then used the excuse of not being ready for marriage to get out. Unfortunately for him, he got busted on Facebook. That is why he is not ready to talk about it. He's a sh*t and he knows it.

 

He thought he could walk away from 6 years with you, using some rational excuse like he's not ready for marriage, thinking that would clear his conscience and he wouldn't feel guilty about the real reason he was leaving you. But then his new girly proudly displayed photos of he and she across Facebook. Stupid.

 

I would have written back, "We have nothing further to discuss, and I'm not concerned with whatever it is you want to talk about. You clearly made your choice, so live with it. I would appreciate the return of my money ASAP. Here is my address..."

 

F him.

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Yes, he is relieving his guilt.

 

And by saying he isn't ready to talk to you yet and will let you know when he is, he just wants to know you are ok to feel better and then basically doesn't want to talk to you after that.

 

He will let you know when he's ready? YEAH RIGHT!!

 

So you're supposed to wait until then? He should have been ready to talk when you first broke up, surely that's what you deserve?

When he is "ready" you sure better be "not ready" and "over him" by them!

 

You are already caving in by thinking you are being too harsh, read the e-mail again! I must repeat "when HE is ready" and he feels "badly"

 

I sure hope you haven't replied telling him it's ok!

 

 

-neverlost

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I am not really sure. I guess there is always the hope that he would come back. Realizing he made a mistake. Profess his love to me. Even if I don't take him back.. It would make me feel better. Like I said in my other thread, I feel worthless and unlovable. I just want to feel like I am worthy enough for someone to be so content with me that they have no desire to go somewhere else. I want to be their "perfect", even though no one is ever perfect. I want someone to love me as much as I love them.

 

 

No other person is going to make you feel worthy. Self worth has to come from within side of you. So, if your hanging onto to the notion that your self worth will improve just for the right guy than IMO.. your setting yourself up for heartbreak. You need to LOVE yourself first before you can love someone else. Just my thoughts.

 

Mea:)

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So I get an email from my ex... who may or may have not left me for someone else after 6 years (although the evidence is leaning towards he did).

The evidence you found on Facebook of he with another girl...how did you find that? Do you have her as a friend, or how did you even think to look for this girl on Facebook? And how did you see her profile and the photos/relationship status? Well, that definitely says it all though. He is guilty.

 

And basically he says - "I am sorry for everything. I never meant to hurt you. I feel badly that I did. I am not quite ready to talk about it yet but I will let you know when I am. I hope you are doing well."

He should be sorry for everything. He strung you along in a relationship for 6 years, and then decided he wasn't ready for marriage yet? How old is this guy? Pretty damn selfish. Did he just out of the blue break up with you one day, or were things heading downhill for awhile?

 

I am not sure why he selfishly states that he is not ready to talk about it with you yet...as though you are just sitting around waiting to discuss it further with him. Have you asked him for answers, and that is why he said this? Because it sounds awfully arrogant of him.

 

What more is there to talk about? He took up 6 years of your life, clearly met someone else, and then used the excuse of not being ready for marriage to get out. Unfortunately for him, he got busted on Facebook. That is why he is not ready to talk about it. He's a sh*t and he knows it.

 

He thought he could walk away from 6 years with you, using some rational excuse like he's not ready for marriage, thinking that would clear his conscience and he wouldn't feel guilty about the real reason he was leaving you. But then his new girly proudly displayed photos of he and she across Facebook. Stupid.

 

I would have written back, "We have nothing further to discuss, and I'm not concerned with whatever it is you want to talk about. You clearly made your choice, so live with it. I would appreciate the return of my money ASAP. Here is my address..."

 

F him.

 

Thank you for this post!! This is how I feel with my X. I feel like I've wasted seven years of my life with someone who never really wanted to truly commit. And I let him back in my life with all the promises of how he'd changed and he would stay no matter what and now 3.5 years later he f**ked me over again. I am filled with so much hurt, anger and every other emotion. I feel like I have wasted so much time with someone who never really loved me and who can just leave a note and walk out in the middle of the night and not even talk about working out the issues in our relationship and working things out. It says to me he never really did love me.

 

Thank you!!!!

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Dexter Morgan
So I get an email from my ex... who may or may have not left me for someone else after 6 years (although the evidence is leaning towards he did).

 

And basically he says - "I am sorry for everything. I never meant to hurt you. I feel badly that I did. I am not quite ready to talk about it yet but I will let you know when I am. I hope you are doing well."

 

Doesn't this apology basically mean - I FEEL GUILTY FOR ALL THE SH8T I PUT YOU THROUGH BUT THAT'S HOW THE COOKIE CRUMBLES. BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME.

 

Or am I being to harsh?

 

 

No, you are not being too harsh. I sense the despair you felt in your other post about feeling inadequate and what she did bothers you.

 

To me, she didn't want you, but she is trying to keep you on the backburner. She is using you, trying to get in your head and keep you on a string in case things don't work out with other guys.

 

Cut that string. She doesn't deserve to have you as an option any longer.

 

If she left you for another guy, there is absolutely NO REASON for her to contact you and tell you that she can't talk about things right now, but later on she will.

 

Tell her you don't want her to talk about what she did, that you are moving on, and you don't want to talk to her again.

 

THEN the feeling of being inadequate should shift from you to her. Now SHE will be the one thinking, "he doesn't want me??? why not?? what haven't I got that he doesn't want??"

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