Truly Lost Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Well, now that I'm single, yet again. I'm thinking about who my next guy will be and when I should start dating again. But is it a good idea to do it now while I'm still harboring pain from my previous relationship? Its only been a month, so I don't know. I don't want to waste anyone's time in a rebound relationship just to cure my emotional distress. That wouldn't be fair, but I know someone who was dumped and started dating someone about a couple weeks later, and is now engaged after 6 months!! I've also heard people say the best way to get over an old love is to get a new love, but I'm not sure I'm there yet. My sister said to do myself a favor and don't date anyone for awhile because with dating can come quick rejections because thats what comes with dating. She thinks I'm too vulnerable, right now and wouldn't be able to handle rejection right now since I'm already hurting. Link to post Share on other sites
SRV Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Truly Lost, you know yourself better, but in most cases it is suggested to give it a little time. If you are out dating and thoughts of your ex cross your mind you might not be ready. It may also be unfair to you and the OP. Wouldn't you want someone's undivided attention when doing that? It will come around and when you can go out and not question whether you should or shouldn't might be the right time. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Well, now that I'm single, yet again. I'm thinking about who my next guy will be and when I should start dating again. But is it a good idea to do it now while I'm still harboring pain from my previous relationship? Definitely not. Its only been a month, so I don't know. I don't want to waste anyone's time in a rebound relationship just to cure my emotional distress. That's precisely why you shouldn't start dating. You date someonme because you like them for who they are, not for healing your emotional distress and what they can do for you. That wouldn't be fair, but I know someone who was dumped and started dating someone about a couple weeks later, and is now engaged after 6 months!! That is them, this is you. There are no guarantees that any of this would go for you too...... I've also heard people say the best way to get over an old love is to get a new love, but I'm not sure I'm there yet. if yoyu're not sure you're there yet - you're not. My sister said to do myself a favor and don't date anyone for awhile Listen to your sister. because with dating can come quick rejections because thats what comes with dating. She thinks I'm too vulnerable, right now and wouldn't be able to handle rejection right now since I'm already hurting. Not to mention the fact that you'd be jerking a guy around and potentially setting him up for pain too, when you realise it doesn't actually mean anything to you, because you keep comparing him to your ex-. Give yourself a year. Be on your own. Get to know yourself, build up your self-esteem, confidence, dignity and self-worth. being alone isn't as taboo as jumping from one pair of arms to another just to try to get over it..... Link to post Share on other sites
EmperorR Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 don't take your time. It took me 4 months to even just casually go out with a girl as I knew if I tried earlier it would be really unfair. There is no rush it's not like there won't be any single guys when your ready. Work on yourself get over your past relationship before you enter your new exciting one. Link to post Share on other sites
BLONDIE1000 Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 I'm newly single again too, after 7 yrs with a narcissist! so definately no dating for me till im totally healed. I think dating again really depends on how you feel about your ex, if there are still strong feelings there then dating too soon might not be a good idea. The worse thing that could happen is that you meet someone who youre not really that into and then start feeling even worse about your break up...sometimes dating too soon after can actually set back the healing process... You mention a friend who started dating really soon after their split and were engaged 6 months later, wow! lucky them, but unfortunately i don't think good luck like that happens very often. All the best whatever you decide to do x Link to post Share on other sites
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