Jonarsh Posted September 3, 2002 Share Posted September 3, 2002 here's how the storey goes... My ex left me for her ex, but we still keep in touch. She know I still like her a lot, she's just taking it as if I have already treated her as a friend. I really don't know what she feels about me now...Anyway, we have been seeing each other much more then she sees her ex. Yesterday, her ex called her saying that he was 'tired' of their relationship, and wanted to end it, she was devastated and cried...she told me it was partly because of my existance. She seemed pretty sad about it coz it was her ex who dumped her in the first place..before she was with me... Well, I can see a cycle here, what shes feeling now for him, is what I'm feeling now for her..., her ex hurt her, and she hurt me... I know she feels very bad inside, but I feel even more bad inside...Y? Becoz I really envy her ex, I can see that he means a lot to her..which makes me feel sucky inside. How I wish she would feel something like that for me... She asked me what is she suppose to do..I told her I'm the wrong person to ask becoz I still like her..I also very confused.. Need to hear from you all...thanks a million Jo. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted September 3, 2002 Share Posted September 3, 2002 You're a pretty smart dude. Stay away from her. Tell her to take some time off to heal...then to look for a nice guy who she likes as much as the ex who just dumped her. It would be really insane for you to get back witht his gal because it just isn't there between the two of you. Meanwhile, tell this chick to call somebody else with her problems and forget about her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonarsh Posted September 3, 2002 Author Share Posted September 3, 2002 thanks tony, but I still like her very much...I know that my heart tells me not to let go, but I also know that if we ever had a chance to getting back together, she will subconciously take me as a substitute for her ex. , or rather, if her ex suddenly jump back into her life again, I'll be bonkers man.... I really don't know what to do... Jo. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted September 3, 2002 Share Posted September 3, 2002 I speak from experience. It doesn't matter how much you like her. Reality is reality. You can't change that and don't even try. This gal is CLEARLY using you as a reserve or spare unit in between other relationships. You cannot allow yourself to be abused like this. So say she gets back together with you. Once she heals and gets her head together, she will either once again return to the ex...like she would have once again returned to you...or she will find somebody else and ask you to be her buddy again to see if her other deal works. If it does work, she will tell you to kiss her butt. If it doesn't, she'll be back in your arms. I know exactly how this stuff works. If experience and observation was a criteria, I would have the Nobel Prize. She is doing nothing more than using you, either consciously or unconsciously. Don't buy into it. Or maybe you should. You have to learn some way. Print this response out and refer to it in the future when appropriate. Link to post Share on other sites
East_Works Posted September 3, 2002 Share Posted September 3, 2002 Originally posted by Tony I speak from experience. It doesn't matter how much you like her. Reality is reality. You can't change that and don't even try. This gal is CLEARLY using you as a reserve or spare unit in between other relationships. You cannot allow yourself to be abused like this. So say she gets back together with you. Once she heals and gets her head together, she will either once again return to the ex...like she would have once again returned to you...or she will find somebody else and ask you to be her buddy again to see if her other deal works. If it does work, she will tell you to kiss her butt. If it doesn't, she'll be back in your arms. I know exactly how this stuff works. If experience and observation was a criteria, I would have the Nobel Prize. She is doing nothing more than using you, either consciously or unconsciously. Don't buy into it. Or maybe you should. You have to learn some way. Print this response out and refer to it in the future when appropriate. Agreed There's no point in hoping for her to come back to you since you are nothing more than a backup unit.(in my view anyway)There are other fishes in the sea my friend,dun waste your time with this gal.you wanna get burn twice?Maybe you should ask yourself this,"I love her but am i being love back?Am i wasting my time hoping for best when the best is that i can only be friends wif her?" Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted September 3, 2002 Share Posted September 3, 2002 Yeah you are her fall back crutch. In all reality, she probably knew things were going south, and that's why she was spending time with you all of the sudden BEFORE they broke up. She has issues with being without a relationship, and if she doesn't see this cycle (which she probably does), than its good that you do. Force her to re-evaluate her life and her relationships. She probably needs counseling. Link to post Share on other sites
velvet Posted September 3, 2002 Share Posted September 3, 2002 would be over if you would let her go to let her find her life. You act as if she wasn't apart of your life you would be in pain. The hardest part is what your putting yourself through. Think about it, recognize it! You don't have to put yourself through her crap anymore. Unless you choose to continue putting yourself through these cycles you wont be able to heal from this yourself. Better to let her go find her own life. If your afraid let her go than do so slowly. You have to tell yourself over and over, daily the chaos she puts you through and that shes not worth it. Spend less time with her, don't call her and don't be a shoulder for her to cry to about her love life. Link to post Share on other sites
Tod Posted September 18, 2002 Share Posted September 18, 2002 Originally posted by Jonarsh here's how the storey goes... My ex left me for her ex, Wouldn't your ex's ex be you? Link to post Share on other sites
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