here_I_am_again Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 When your ex starts dating within 2 weeks of ending what was really special, how do you deal with it? How they can move on so quickly? It's almost as if you get compartmentalised, put in a box and are completely forgotten and it hurts like nothing else. Link to post Share on other sites
Truly Lost Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Unfortunately, your ex had long since come to terms that your relationship wasn't working. Thats why your ex was able to move on so quickly. Believe me, your ex probably had played out the break up in their mind many times. Being the dumper is really, really hard. Sometimes it takes a bad event to happen for them to gain the courage enough to finally declare that its over. Some people will wait till they have found someone else before dropping the break up bomb. And some people will simply turn their back and walk away with no explination. Thats the most dispicable thing to do to someone. Those people are cowards and don't deserve to experience love with anyone. I'm sure your ex still thinks of you. You both were, after all in a relationship. But you can't lose sight that your ex is no longer in love with you, so why be with her/him. You shouldn't settle for anything less. I know you are hurting and the quickest way to get over it is to keep your self as busy as possible and don't try to contact your ex. Link to post Share on other sites
OCCDAVE Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Truly is right from what I have learned here they disconnent themselves way before dropping the its over bomb.I still sometimes find it hard to believe I gave my ex and her kids the world yet a week later she had a new bf sigh. Link to post Share on other sites
HappyAgain Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Unfortunately, your ex had long since come to terms that your relationship wasn't working. Thats why your ex was able to move on so quickly. Believe me, your ex probably had played out the break up in their mind many times. Being the dumper is really, really hard. Sometimes it takes a bad event to happen for them to gain the courage enough to finally declare that its over. Some people will wait till they have found someone else before dropping the break up bomb. And some people will simply turn their back and walk away with no explination. Thats the most dispicable thing to do to someone. Those people are cowards and don't deserve to experience love with anyone. I'm sure your ex still thinks of you. You both were, after all in a relationship. But you can't lose sight that your ex is no longer in love with you, so why be with her/him. You shouldn't settle for anything less. I know you are hurting and the quickest way to get over it is to keep your self as busy as possible and don't try to contact your ex. This is so absolutely true. Some stop loving for a very long time and don't have the courage to leave until the other person is forced to end it. But by whichever means it ends, these people stopped caring about the relationship a long long time ago - they just didn't bother informing you until the end (chicken****s.) Then you're left with the shock of it "coming out of the blue." They may think about you but only as a memory of a person they once knew. Sorry to say but their hearts are not hurting anymore so you have to be strong and slowly deal with the emotions but do not let it control you. Link to post Share on other sites
Zammo25 Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Unfortunately, your ex had long since come to terms that your relationship wasn't working. Thats why your ex was able to move on so quickly. Believe me, your ex probably had played out the break up in their mind many times. Being the dumper is really, really hard. Sometimes it takes a bad event to happen for them to gain the courage enough to finally declare that its over. Some people will wait till they have found someone else before dropping the break up bomb. And some people will simply turn their back and walk away with no explination. Thats the most dispicable thing to do to someone. Those people are cowards and don't deserve to experience love with anyone. I'm sure your ex still thinks of you. You both were, after all in a relationship. But you can't lose sight that your ex is no longer in love with you, so why be with her/him. You shouldn't settle for anything less. I know you are hurting and the quickest way to get over it is to keep your self as busy as possible and don't try to contact your ex. AS weird as it sounds I would actually like to find out my ex is seeing someone so soon as it would make she realise she is a worthless piece of trash and not worth my life in on hold and in hell over. In a curious way I think it would be the pusj I need to say , f*ck her, its her loss and move on and hope he is a useless shag and ends up threating her like sh*t and cheating on her. Link to post Share on other sites
irishsimon Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Its helps me if i know an ex is seeing someone. That is the end game for me..never going back. but i dont feel any malice towards them. They are only human. I've done it. I might get upset and jealous but the anger and bitterness would just mess me up for longer. Different strokes for different folks I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
EmperorR Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Because they emotionally detach beforehand, eh at least you weren't dealt the double blow I was, I was cheated on dumped and then she ran to a new guy. And people like this disgust me, puttig on a oscar performance still reaping the benefits until blam. My ex told me how she began tofeel different in February yet there were no signs still said I loved you still reaped the benefits still used me until she opened up her legs to some joe blow and I guess that gave her the courage. Wanted to Be one to think about us but a week later found some jabroni who bought her a donut and started to date him eww. Link to post Share on other sites
lonelygurl Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 basically because many of them are jerks who have already been chatting or seeing ppl to line themselves up before they leave you. They only care about themselves and aren't honest about it all, and then they lie when you question them. then they could be a coward like my X and just sneak out in the middle of the night and leave a note. His past has always been he always had a new girl lined up before he left so I'm quite sure he did this time too. It hurts to have people trample on your heart like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Turkish delight Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 Well, an out-of-the-blue breakup with no notice, and with no explanation, happened to me as well, and everything seemed to be going so well. I was shocked and devastated, and for months I tried to figure out what I have done wrong. The worst thing about this kind of people is that they are so selfish, that they leave you with hundreds of questions and you begin hitting your own self and self-blaming because he/she does not provide you with the reasons of the breakup. This way they don't have to face any responsibility and questions, whereas the very reason the relationship ends is their weak personality and selfishness, and, more importantly, their state of mind "I don't know what I want". These people do not care about the other person's feelings whatsoever. So they do not deserve to receive any feelings, they deserve people like themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
Tryng2Trust08 Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 Even if he knew the breakup was going to happen, there are still feelings there, whatever they are. People needs time in between breakups, and it's very irresponsible to put themselves into a new relationship soo quickly. The best thing you can do for yourself, is just be honest with yourself, emotions, etc...It's ok to be angry and upset, take some time to heal and better yourself now. Forget him. Link to post Share on other sites
scoot Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 Valentines weekend my wife told me she wasn't into our marriage of ten years. I gave her an ultimatum of work to rebuild the marriage or get the hell out. she left . one of the very 1st things I did to separate myself from the pain machine was to pull myself off the cellphone contract . I do not need to know what she does or who she talks to. It doesn't matter how fast or slow she finds comfort in another man. She wanted out and the longer crap drags on together the more disruptive it is. today I don't know where she lives just three weeks after a ten year marriage and I am not looking for her. If she wanted to be home with me she would be, case closed. In my 1st marriage I asked all the questions about all the nasty details and I got just that , all the details. If deceptive things have been done to me only she has to answer to that, it's none of my business anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Gingerboom Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 This thread has hit a bit of a raw nerve with me... Over the last year or so, Ive been in a relationship with a guy i met online. We have had big ups and biiig downs. And yes, a lot of it has been related to my insecurity. One of my biggest insecurities related to the fact that a) I found out he met his previous ex on the same dating website and b) he had cheated on her with other girls on the same site. He seemed to be a serial onliner. God knows why I took a risk and gave my heart to this guy, but hey I did. I went through the year waiting to speak to him every night on msn, never knowing the truth and always presuming he was chatting to other girls on line, never feeling good enough or that he was there for me as I was for him. He maintains that due to his lifestyle (i.e. he works abroad 3 months and then home for 2 weeks) he finds it hard to meet anyone and it is a connection to the outside world etc. But all the while I suspected and would get angry with him, he always told me that he cancelled his account. Anyhoo 2 weeks ago we were pretty much at the end of the road...got to the point where we were talking about giving each other our things back etc. And one night, probably in my sad desperation wondering what he might be feeling, thinking, I found his profile online again and it has torn me apart. He said he hid the profile as he still wasnt sure what was happening with us... but he must have reactivated it literally within a week of us not speaking!!! We are emailing again now, but it seems we are both filled with such doubt, can it ever work? As long as he is away and uses that website as an emotional crutch to fall back on or hedge his bets with every time he rebounds from a relationship, it's NEVER going to work is it??? PLEASE someone talk sense into me! lol Link to post Share on other sites
miss-jem-bishop Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 yeah i agree it dose hurt and feel horriable! but maybe thier way of dealing with it is to find another person's company ... they are more than likely not planning out to hurt you at all and i know it does but you got to be strong keep smiling your worth alot more and there will be somone out there for you! X Link to post Share on other sites
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