Rusty Posted August 23, 2002 Share Posted August 23, 2002 Hi all, just wana hear your opinions. My gf recently left me for her ex...ever since then i've been bothering her, and pestering to come back to me, and it's been pissing and annoying her off. Now she kinda hates me... But to all those who have been in this situation as me, they will know that these kind of actions are sort of inevitable..you know what i mean?.. I mean i cant just stand there and just let her go like that. I know all this pestering will lead to no good...but i dont know why i still do that! Coz i really hope to get her back to me, be making her remember all the good times and not just only the bad times... guess that din really worked out, in fact it only worsened things. Well, i thought about it these couple of days...and finally came through. I guess i should just leave her alone. My question is: Will she miss me if i stop or try not to contact her that often? Coz i've always been available to her right from the start...give her time to realise how much i weigh in her life... Will i get a chance to get her back then? Also, i really hope to hear from the female perspective too. Thanks.. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted August 23, 2002 Share Posted August 23, 2002 If you had been mature about the break up from the beginning, there might have been some potential for getting back in the future. However, you have ceased to be anything but an annoyance and irritant to your ex and it's not very likely she'll want to ever be back with somebody like that. Women like men who respect their decisions. They also like men who don't want to be with women who don't want to be with them. It is utterly insane to want a woman in your life who clearly would prefer to be with somebody else. It simply isn't looking out for your best interests. I hope you will consider pursuing women who, without a doubt, want to be a part of YOUR life and nobody elses. It would also be nice if you stayed away from women who still have emotional connections to past loves. The next time a lady breaks up with you, just give her your love and best wishes and send her on. Yes, to the extent that you can be mature and cool is the extent there will be possibilities of a reconciliation in the future. But if you show your ass, there is just no way any rational woman will want to be a part of your life. This was a good learning and growing experience for you. If you learned something, great. If you didn't and you keep going after chicks after they tell you to get lost, you will live a life of great pain and heartbreak. As a matter of fact, if you are really cool about things it will blow the females' minds. Women are very attracted to men who are understanding and who give them space. Until you get the that point, you will lose every time. I hope you will ponder what I have written here. A lot of men make the same mistakes you have and it never gets them anywhere. People looking on from the outside see them as fools. Don't worry, I've done the same things many times and that's how I can write about it. But I don't do it anymore! Link to post Share on other sites
Ashe Posted August 23, 2002 Share Posted August 23, 2002 It's a catch-22: a part of you wants to do whatever possible so you can win her back, and another part of you wants nothing to do with her. Pestering her doesn't work, as you've found out - it just pisses her off. Reminding her of the good times is a natural thing to do, and I'm sure she has thought about it, but because of your bothering, those actions are a fresh new reason why she might not want to get back together with you. It's so hard to just let her go, but that's what you have to do. Believe me, I know how hard it is - imagine being with someone that you've never had even a slight disagreement with - and in the end you're just left with a sick empty feeling in your stomach. I'm sure she will miss you but might not let you see that. At this point, she needs time to think about things - and so do you. Not having you around all the time might be a good thing for her - or at least help heal any new wounds you've caused from your recent pestering to win her back. So to you, my friend, I say let her go. If she cares about you, she'll get back in touch with you. If not, then there's not much you can do about it - after all, she decided to go back with her ex. If she comes back to you, would you want her again knowing that she tried to get back with her ex? Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted August 23, 2002 Share Posted August 23, 2002 that reads, "How can I miss you if you won't go away?" Tony's got a good point -- women like men who respect their decisions, even if it's not what the guy wants. At this point, all she's going to see is that you were more concerned about pestering her than you were about showing respect for her decision to break it off with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted August 23, 2002 Share Posted August 23, 2002 Last night I went out with some friends and ran into Michael. He wanted to talk. And it doesn't matter how many times I tell him that I'm not in love with him, don't want to be with him, etc., it doesn't sink in. He won't give up. I finally got so mad that I made a scene in the bar and was halfway down the road to my car before my friends caught up with me. Now, I can really see myself hate him. Ok so, I'm in her shoes. I've told him I still love my ex bf, Steven, and Michael just keeps thinking it's his mission in life to get my over the ex bf that I loved with my entire being but wasn't treating me as good as he probably should have been. But there are two sides to every story, and I was pretty bad to him too. He won't get off this "perfect woman" trip. And I honestly don't see how someone can be so in love, when we haven't been together that long, and he hasn't seen my bad sides yet...and I don't want him to, bc I've lost intrest in the relationship all together. Yeah, you are pissing her off, bc you aren't LISTENING to her. Lets say that by some wild twist of fate, she ends up leaving her current boyfriend. Do you HONESTLY think she's going to go to you....a guy who didn't respect her enough to let her live her life the way she wants to live it? You may think you are doing a good thing, but you are digging your hole deeper and deeper and deeper. Absense makes the heart grow fonder, and if you leave her alone, she'll have TIME to remember the good times, but you may have done too much damage for her to want to be with you again. Stop being obsessed and move on. Everything happens for a reason, and ya know...if she is TRULY not the one for you, and actually the one for her current bf in the end....then just imagine who is in store to come your way. She'll have to be WAY better than this one. You probably don't see it now, but you'll realize it soon enough. NOW LEAVE HER ALONE!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rusty Posted August 24, 2002 Author Share Posted August 24, 2002 thanks ally n tony, for all the views and opinions...well, i actually knew that all long, i guess i just need ppl to push me into believing what i had to do was rite, need some brainwashing, if u know what i mean. I suppose whats yours will be yours eventually, no point trying too hard..... Anyway, thanks again... Link to post Share on other sites
velvet Posted August 24, 2002 Share Posted August 24, 2002 I believe underneath all the drama she has probably taken to heart your actions after the separation. Though she doest show it and probably never will than at least she knows. She knows you want her and love her. Maybe on down the road things could change. I doubt it would be anytime soon since she is involved with someone else. Definitely give her space and a whole lot of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Bernice Posted August 25, 2002 Share Posted August 25, 2002 God, she's a bitch... she left you for her ex boyfriend... are you out of ya mind????? Link to post Share on other sites
goofball1362 Posted August 30, 2002 Share Posted August 30, 2002 I don't buy the women like men who respect their wishes stuff, everyone wents their wishes to be respected, but men and women alike want a confidant person who refuses to be a doormat. In order to foster that "in love" feeling you must give enough but not too much, and never compromise who you are. I know it's impossible, hey we've all been there!!! But, you have to try to walk away and keep your feelings to yourself. Better yet, share them with a friend. Or write her a letter, pour out the good and the bad and then throw the letter away. Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted August 31, 2002 Share Posted August 31, 2002 No one wants a doormat. My ex boyfriend would drive across town just to get me something I wanted, and I didn't respect that for some reason....and then they say that women don't want men who treat them "right." I personally, don't want THAT much power over a man, I can't respect him that way. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted August 31, 2002 Share Posted August 31, 2002 There is a healthy balance to this aspect of romance....and if you're able to attain it in your lifetime, you are very lucky indeed. Women always want men, not wussies. Link to post Share on other sites
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