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Platonic = Friend?


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I was dating a women for two months. Everything was going great. One night when we were making out, I said something that inadvertantly offended her. I asked her about it, but she said every thing was fine, as I was leaving that night. When I saw her next, a few days later, she said she just wanted a platonic relationship with me. I felt very rejected and said no. I called later to talk, she responded by e-mail that she could not tell me what I wanted to hear, and hoped that we could be friends. I left her a note apologizing, and she responded with appreciation, but reiterating that at this time our romantic relationship was over, and hoped that we could be friends. That was three weeks ago.

 

I want to have some kind of relationship with her, and do not hold out hope that we will rekindle what we had, but I do love her (which I have not told her). Is there room in a friendship for one person feeling more for the other? I am not sure how she feels. It was so abrupt, I think she might be acting out of past hurt. Can a "Platonic relationship" mean a love relationship without a sexual component? Should I contact her or leave well enough alone?

 

Thank you for your feedback

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Ask yourself how you're going to feel when she meets someone else and starts telling you how much she loves them, how great the sex is, etc.? If you think that is going to hurt or upset you then walk away now and save yourself a lot of trouble. If, however, you meet someone first (presuming you could love someone else) is that going to change how you feel about her?

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exclusivelyME

What was it that you told her? Maybe by further analyzing what you said and how that might have affected her, you can get a reason for such an abrupt end to your relationship.

 

Also, what exactly did you tell her when she said she wanted your relationship to be platonic? Did you make the sentiment of wanting to continue your relationship with her clear enough?

 

I would urge you to try one more time to get her back. Tell her how you really feel about her--tell her you love her and don't want to lose her. Maybe what you said made her feel as though you felt a different way about her.

 

I'm saying these things because something similar happened to one of my cousins, extremely similar in fact. Her boyfriend of 3 years (they were both 22 at the time) said something along the lines of not wanting to have kids until he was in his early 30's. At the time, they were in a serious relationship and my cousin had made it extremely clear that she wanted to get married young and have children by her mid 20's. When he said that, she took it as he didn't see their relationship as being that serious and that he didn't see her as his potential wife and mother of his children, and hence, she didn't want to continue to waste her time with someone who felt that way. She soon broke things off with him. However, he cleared things up and expressed that he did want to marry her and now they're engaged to be married next year :)

 

Sometimes the smallest of details can change a lot of things. Maybe what you said greatly influenced her rushed decision to end things with you.

 

 

 

 

 

...or maybe I'm completely off and don't know what I'm talking about :o regardless of that, hope everything works out between you guys

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Thanks Quince,

 

I think that I would be happy for her if she was in a relationship. She told me that she had not dated for years before me, and feel bad that she took a rare shot in dating me, and did not have a good experiece. If she did bring up the subject of her sex life (which seems in bad taste) I would want to learn from the details if I could. I do not have much experience or confidence in that area.

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