How can I bring us back together?

[rock24]

Hi guys. I've been reading a lot of the posts and found some good info, so I wanted to post my issue to hopefully get some help.

 

Here's my story. I was with my gf for 2+ years. Out of nowhere, she drops it on me that she feel her love for me is like that for a best friend...basically that she has fallen out of love with me and no longer has romantic feelings for me. I was crushed since I didnt see it coming. She said she has felt it for about 2 months.

 

I immediately went into panic mode, tried and tried to get her to give us another chance, recommended counseling, self help books...anything to try to fix us. Telling her I love her over and over, being upset.....basically all the things that you shouldnt do to win someone back.

 

This happened around a month ago. We live together, which makes the situation harder. We've been sleeping in seperate rooms, trying to be friends...although its very awkward at times...and other times we get along fine. There is even a tiny bit of flirtiness in there sometimes. I really want to give us another chance.

 

She is going through some life changes right now. She just got laid off and is having trouble finding work. She isnt happy with her life right now, thinking she is not at the point in her life where she should be, maybe she's happier alone, etc. So I sometimes wonder if the relationship is even a problem...or if she just has so many other things making her miserable right now.

 

I have tried to step back, not make myself as available, get back to me, back to the person she fell for in the first place. I get out of the house more to get away from her...I may just go out and drive around, anything to just give her space. She noticed I had pulled back and it seemed to upset her. She was saying things like I made it clear I was ok with us doing our own thing and that I seemed to want to play games with her. I explained I wasnt playing games and was just giving her space. Later on, she told me she wanted me to move on.

 

To me, she just seems confused as to what she wants and she just has a lot in her head right now. I love this woman, I want her back. I do feel like we were meant to be.

 

I need help....

[Geishawhelk]

....She was saying things like I made it clear I was ok with us doing our own thing and that I seemed to want to play games with her. I explained I wasnt playing games and was just giving her space. Later on, she told me she wanted me to move on.

 

To me, she just seems confused as to what she wants and she just has a lot in her head right now. I love this woman, I want her back. I do feel like we were meant to be.

 

I need help....

 

Yes you do.

 

OK:

read this -

 

Only YOU feel you were meant to be.

 

 

She doesn't.

 

Once Love has gone, it's not something that will ever come back.

Even if it did, it would be different, and it's not going to.

 

It may seem an impossible thing to consider, but one of you has to move out.

living under the same roof is just awkward and complicating.

[saturnfell]

Yes you do.

 

OK:

read this -

 

Only YOU feel you were meant to be.

 

 

She doesn't.

 

Once Love has gone, it's not something that will ever come back.

Even if it did, it would be different, and it's not going to.

 

It may seem an impossible thing to consider, but one of you has to move out.

living under the same roof is just awkward and complicating.

 

Hi,

 

I agree and disagree with some of the previous post.

 

I agree that you should probably move out.

 

However...

 

It seems she may just need time for her. You cannot do anything about this, except, give her time. Moving out of the house will assist with this. Only time will tell whether the two of you are meant to be. The best medicine for a situation such is this, is time. I know everything you do will be for this women, just know that everything you do, no matter how much it hurts, is for this women. Time is the best medicine, trust me.

[rock24]

Another issue...she just lost her job and is not really in a financial spot to be on her own. I'm sure as hell not going to just kick her out without her having a way to support herself.

 

I sometimes think it would be easier if we didnt live together....but other times, I think it makes it easier.

 

I do know that a broken heart makes you lost all ability to make sense of anything.

[EmperorR]

Another issue...she just lost her job and is not really in a financial spot to be on her own. I'm sure as hell not going to just kick her out without her having a way to support herself.

 

I sometimes think it would be easier if we didnt live together....but other times, I think it makes it easier.

 

I do know that a broken heart makes you lost all ability to make sense of anything.

 

That's not your problem man, let her move back with her parents. When she broke up you OWE her nothing.

[BCCA]

That's not your problem man, let her move back with her parents. When she broke up you OWE her nothing.

 

As cold as you can convince yourself this is, this is absolutely true. My ex wanted to break up with me and then continue living with me until she could find herself something else. I told her she was leaving that night, and she could go stay with her parents. She did.

 

Bottom line, you live together because you were a couple. Youre not roomates, friends, co-workers or acquaintances. When she decided to end the relationship, unfortunately, everything that comes with it goes, too. She is essentially using you for financial support. Her immediate needs are met, yours are not. Thats not fair or healthy for you.

 

Its actually pretty selfish of her to even consider staying there for any length of time after she broke up with you. Im sure walking home to find the woman who broke your heart everyday makes you feel great inside.

 

Does she have parents/family she can stay with? Sorry man, but her problems are not your problems any longer. And if you continue to deal with them anyway, youll be making an "i got used" post as well.

[rock24]

Thanks guys. She will have unemployment coming in and she does have a bit of money saved that she can live off of. I am not paying all the bills, so technically, I am not supporting her.

 

I do love her and I want her back. Sometimes it helps to see her and sometimes it hurts...because she broke my heart and I do still love her.

 

I'm at an awkward point because it seems anything I do will hurt. I'm hurting enough. If she stays, I have those times where it kills me to see her. If she goes, it's gonna kill me to seperate our stuff, not see her, wonder what she is doing, etc.

 

Our relationship was so amazing and we were so in love. I dont even know how we got to this point.

[Knight_Ctrl]

Thanks guys. She will have unemployment coming in and she does have a bit of money saved that she can live off of. I am not paying all the bills, so technically, I am not supporting her.

 

I do love her and I want her back. Sometimes it helps to see her and sometimes it hurts...because she broke my heart and I do still love her.

 

I'm at an awkward point because it seems anything I do will hurt. I'm hurting enough. If she stays, I have those times where it kills me to see her. If she goes, it's gonna kill me to seperate our stuff, not see her, wonder what she is doing, etc.

 

Our relationship was so amazing and we were so in love. I dont even know how we got to this point.

 

Thats the problem man....YOU were so in love. I use to think that my girl loved me like I loved her, we would even get into those cute arguments about who loves each other more....obviously I won, tasteless victory indeed. My point is that no matter how in love you think you were with each other, it was one sided. Being in love is like having your eyes closed in a dark room, you THINK that you know everything is ok and your thoughts are confirmed by there being nothing wrong, then when you get the lights turned on (or broken up with) it hurts like hell and you can't see a damn thing anymore. You need to stop living together, not see her, not talk to her, take care of yourself and then just see where life takes you.