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I didn't even see it coming


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I was dating this girl for the past month, we were really happy, both of us were, but a week ago today, she dumped me, after telling me she loved me the day before. we never even fought, we had just had a great date less than a week earlier, then i went home for winter break from college, and I thought both of us were so happy and in love. I had just gotten her a christmas present, and then a week ago she TEXTED me that she didn't feel it was god's plan for us to be together, even though she still loved me. I cant understand why she feels this way, she never really explained why she felt it wasn't god's plan for us to be together, and never has, but she told me she needed to marry a pastor, which threw me for a loop. I just can't deal with it, one day I meant the world to her, the next she doesn't want anything to do with me. She broke my heart, and I can't stand the thought of her being happy right now, but I know she must be. I wan't to think that she just had doubts and wanted to pin it on God so I would'nt argue with her, but I couldn't let her go that easy so I did, I tried to get her to think about it and give us another shot, but she wouldn't even consider it. I just thought she loved me, but she is willing to throw away everything we had on a whim, wether from god or no. The girl I feel in love with wasn't this rash, this isn't the girl I feel in love with.

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I know how I fell, thanks. but I don't necessarily know if it was real full strength love, but as terrible as I felt after she ended it, I don't know...but it was the most I ever cared about a person, it just still hurts. What hurt me the most was the unexpectedness of it all, I thought we could go further.

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No, actually her church had some by-law where she wasn't even supposed to date outside her denomination. Honestly I thought this might be a problem all along, I even considered ending it, but I couldn't I cared about her too much.

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So you did nothing wrong? She seriously just said out of nowhere for seemingly no reason that God didn't think you two were meant to be?

 

That's some weird **** brother I think you may have just dodged a BIG bullet. Like not a 9mm bullet.. a freaking like tank machine gun bullet.

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No I didn't do anything to her. I had actually just bought her a christmas present, she knew that too. our first real fight came after we broke up, like when I was trying to change her mind.

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Dude.. its only been a month that you were seeing her ... come on man........try spending close to 16 years with a woman and have her dump you...... You wil get over this as soon as the next skirt walks by and smiles at you.... you will be fine... hang with your buds and keep your eyes open.... some skirt will be checking you out before you know it...

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Dude.. its only been a month that you were seeing her ... come on man........try spending close to 16 years with a woman and have her dump you...
I know that...I didn't say I was worse off than anyone else. But thanks for the advice.
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Im starting to think she met someone, because after some prodding she told me she needed to be with a minister, which I was like...okay...It killed me to think I wasn't good enough. But I put some of what she said together, and maybe im crazy here, but the way she didn't feel it was god's plan for us to be together...she had to have a reason to feel that way, and feelings for another guy makes sense, and the way she dumped me so quickly, like she wanted to get out of it as soon as possible...I just think maybe a guy with minister potential cropped up and she wanted to lock it down, regardless of how I felt, or even the way she felt about me.

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Dont analyse things, it won't help. The cold hard truth is that she just doesn't want to be with you, that's all there is to it. Look at it as her loss, not your's.

 

And in 99% of breakups the dumpee doesn't see it coming. Though I'm not sure dating someone for a month and then things going no further counts as a breakup, but it's understanable you feeling hurt.

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I know, it's only a month and I know I'm probably stupid to feel this hurt, but things were going so well, I thought we were going forward, and it was like my legs got clipped out from under me...it just sucks, I cared about her so much, and I thought she felt the same. And I know I've got nothing on some of the people here, but she was still important to me, and I'm still hurt.

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Most of you probably don't understand why I feel this way after only a month...honestly I don't either, I wish I didn't. I hate her for this...

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Man I am religious but what's all this talk of ministers and God and all this and that? That's some bs right there. She needs to get her head out of the bible.

 

I go to church every week and I think this girls a freaking nut bag.

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I think she has some fantasy she can't let go of. I thought she might be like this when I first met her, but never saw it, I've known her since august and never she never acted like this before. I mean she was always religious, but this is ridiculous.

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I just thought she cared about me. Now I don't know if I meant anything to her at all. She called our relationship rebelling (against her church). I didn't know she felt this way about us.

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It's easy to see all the good in a person upon initial meeting. That's what your situation is... initial stages of a relationship. Things are usually great then. Be happy you are out so early. It only gets harder as time goes on. Try not to focus so much energy on this one. I'm sorry.

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I feel stupid for getting so upset by the end of such a young relationship, and I told myself I wouldn't, it's just her lack of explanation which is driving me insane I guess. Plus everything felt really good about our relationship, like it was going somewhere. I was happy, She was happy (or at least I thought).

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It's easy to see all the good in a person upon initial meeting. That's what your situation is... initial stages of a relationship. Things are usually great then. Be happy you are out so early. It only gets harder as time goes on. Try not to focus so much energy on this one. I'm sorry.

 

 

I agree, you were still in the honeymoon oh she's so great stage, you haven't met the real her yet, be hpapy you got out while it's good

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I know what you mean, I just thought I would get the chance to know the real her...I guess I'm starting to see the real her though.

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See, now I know why some of my friends have turned into heartless dogs.....Some of these women cannot be trusted, they cannot be put on a pedestal. One of my friends always has more than one female.....go figure I can't blame him nowadays.

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After our first date I she told me the way her church was about dating, I remember thinking this could be a problem, but I thought it would be me backing out, not her. Now I'm crushed, trying to figure out what I did wrong. She kept saying she will always choose god first, but I was like, who asked you to choose? She never talked about how she felt about us being a sin against her church (as her church believes), so I thought she was ok...obviously not.

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I just think that while she was content about us she had no problem with us, but as soon as she felt any doubt at all about us she backed out and called it God's will.

 

It's probably stupid, but I want her to change her mind more than I want anything in the world.

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See, now I know why some of my friends have turned into heartless dogs.....Some of these women cannot be trusted, they cannot be put on a pedestal. One of my friends always has more than one female.....go figure I can't blame him nowadays.

 

True. I've noticed this too.

 

For the OP, is this woman attempting to get you to change vocations? You should stick with what you want and not with a girl whom could be pulling you out of your true calling ;)

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I think you dodged a bullet too. If she's willing to ignore your connection over her church's opinion and some weird fantasy about being with a pastor or preacher then better off without her.

 

if I really loved someone there is nothing that could come between me and him being together.

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