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What do I do... Please I need some advice

Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 17th April 2002, 12:40 PM   #1
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What do I do... Please I need some advice

I have been dating a girl for 3 and 1/2 years. We are both 22 and for the last 3 months she has been in Denmark. Things were going really well until we both took our spring breaks, she came home and told me we needed space (ironic isnt it) and within one week (on her birthday no less) ended the relationship. I have never loved someone so much and I know it is ignorant for me to think we would be together forever straight out of highschool, but I just dont know. I know when you are away that sometimes you have such new experiences and meet so many new people that you tend to feel as though your life at home isnt as important and it's like when someone is on vacation they don't miss people they care about cause they're having so much fun. But I never thought I would have to hear her utter the words "it's over" and "I don't feel the same way about you anymore. I know that she has another 2 months there, maybe longer if she chooses and that in this time I should try my best to get on with my life but I just love her so incredibly much and this has devistated me more than anything. I have given her time, space, and love through out our 3 years and every time we have wavered she has come back. I am just scared to be in a world with out us... What should I do?
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Old 17th April 2002, 1:46 PM   #2
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Re: What do I do... Please I need some advice

You need to show her that you're a man and that you'll be just fine without her. To women, that alone is very attractive.

So I urge you to get over her as quickly as you can. Cease all communication. No email, no phone calls, no snail mail, no messages through friends, NO NOTHING. Get on with your life.

Yes, it's painful and it will take some time. But there is nothing less sexy or attractive than a lovesick man whining to some chick about losing her. Just don't even go there.

I think maybe now you have learned how risky and unpractical long distance relationships are. People grow apart, particularly with a lady as young as yours. In time, maybe the two of you could get back together. But love is as much about timing as it is about feelings. If the time isn't right, nothing else matters.

Stay busy, don't run out and start dating right away. Go through your feelings and process those. Do things you enjoy doing. Stay home or go out with friends. Be kind to yourself.

From a guy who has been where you are many, many times...listen up. There are dozens of loves ahead for you if you want least a few more for sure. When the time is right for BOTH of you, you'll remain with that person. Until then, just have a great time, love a lot, eat some nice dinners, watch some super movies, and root for your favorite teams.
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