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My Girlfriend, The love of my life left me after 5 years..


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Hi :(,

This is my first post, alittle scared but i have to get my feelings out there somehow and i need to keep my mind distracted. I don't usually do Forums, but this one has been helping me alot, Just from reading them and what other people are also going through lets me know im not alone out there and that other people can relate to what i am feeling. I am 20, i have been with her since i was 15, she was kind of my high school sweetheart, i know i am young but this is the life i want/wanted.

 

My girlfriend left me on Sunday, its Saturday now (6 days ago). Everything was great in our relationship, i love her so much with everything in my heart and just last friday before she went out of town to hang out with her friends and have fun she was telling me things like, "lets get married - when we have a daughter lets name her this" and i just pictured my whole life with her, we have been living together for over 3 years of this relationship and i couldn't have been happier, just the small things like, waking up next to her every morning, seeing her smile, just kissing and hugging her was the best feeling ever.

 

She came home that Sunday after the weekend out of town and i could tell she had been thinking about something and my buddy was over at the time so i asked him to go home, because i could tell something was wrong.

 

I asked her about her weekend and everything was good, but then she said she doesn't think she wants to be in a relationship anymore (i don't think she cheated on me, and she said she never would or has and i believe her). things just went down hill from there.

 

I am way more mature then most 20 year olds and i am really relaxed in life now, i don't go to bars its just not who i am. She doesn't really like bars, but she has been wanting to go more and more out with her friends, and i was absolutely fine with that, i trust her with all my heart. Now i am Single, not a young teenager anymore that likes to get drunk and party at bars. i settled down with her because thats what she wanted in our relationship together and i wanted to do that with her also, settle down and have a life, not rush in and get married and have kids but i mean atleast enjoy the life with her until we wanted to move onto bigger things in life, such as getting married or having kids. i am just so confused because i tried to do everything that she wanted in our relationship, to make it work for the better. I thought i was doing the right things. i don't know if i am putting to much blame on myself?

 

She left and has been staying at her parents house since that night, and i don't have anywhere to go, i am kind of alone in the world when it comes to places to go atleast thats how it feels. I have family that is there for me but i can't just get up and go live with them to get out of this place we have together, they have there own place. so i am stuck here in our place looking at the things we have together.

 

She says she wants to stay friends and keep in touch and even hang out maybe in time, but for now she just wants her space. she says she wants to be single and have a free life again. this hurts me so bad because she wanted this serious relationship, it seemed like this is what she wanted from me and now i want it too, and she got scared and just left it all in the dust like it was nothing.

 

She says she still loves me, and she's not sure if we will get back together, and says only time will tell. She seems to be moving on fast though. I am not sure how to take this but on Tuesday (3 days after) she went to a movie already with a "Family Friend" and my buddy from work saw them out. Would she have told me if he didn't see them out?

 

I want her to come back to me so bad, i have changed, i can admit that i have my flaws and so does she but i thought thats what you work on in a relationship? and not give up! she said she would never give up on us. after all we been through. Her parents not talking to us for 3 years then things got perfect and i was hanging out with them and even sleeping over at there farm in the country where they go on the weekends. things were just getting perfect. I miss and love her so much, im not sure what to do, i feel so alone, i don't want to do the "NC" but if thats what i have to do. i don't know. i can't stop hurting and crying i am so confused on what happened, i love her... and i always will.

 

Thank you for listening, can anyone give me advise please :(:(

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No Contact, sorry about how you feel I was in your shoes jsut a while ago. Go No contact, delete her number don't contact her stay away.

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man thats so hard, thats like putting my heart in the garbage :( i really really don't want to give up on her, do you think NC will work?..

 

she might come back?! i hate this, i feel so alone, i sleep on the couch every night because i can even think about waking up in our bed without her next to me, it would hurt so much.

 

i feel like throwing up when i think about her never coming back to me, i can barely type this without crying over her, 5 years!!!! it just doesn't seem worth giving up over.

 

oh yeah... and sunday (only 7 days later) tomorrow, she is coming to pick up her things from here, so i have to see her and her move all her things out, that is going to be probley the hardest part, im so worried about tomorrow.

 

but thank you for replying, i need all the help i can get right now. i live alone and i don't do much right now, so i need people for comfort.

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Just some advice.

 

When people pull away from you, the very best thing you can do is pull away from them as well. She's unsure of what she wants. If you chase, if you pursue, you will push her farther away from you.

 

Focus your time not on her, but on yourself. Heal up as best you can. Work out, hang out with friends, dive into new hobbies. Your silence will speak volumes to her.

 

If she is to come back to you, if ever, it will be on her own accord. Nothing you do or say will bring her back, but everything you do or say can (and will) push her away.

 

The funny thing about relationships? The one who wants it the LEAST has the most power over it. Being her friend is the LAST thing you should do.

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lol, she wants to bed other guys while she keeps you as a friend.

 

Don't be a sucker, don't be her "friend".

i guess thanks for the comment? .. but i don't really want to be thinking about her and other guys at this moment.

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you don't really need to hear how to handle this. you already know what you need to do, you know your relationship better than anyone who reads it here, you know this girl, you know where you stand.

 

no amount of advice will really change your mind - you'll do what you need to. and eventually, after a lot of pain (either way), you'll be okay again. with OR without her.

 

it is right though - you being at her beck and call makes her the most important person in your life, not you. try and think of all this objectively - if she could walk away after five years, she must have her own reasons, her own problems, her own grievances. but the bottomline is, she's not letting her emotions get in the way of her rationality. you try and do that.

 

and even though it is sooo bleak right now, and even though there's no shortcut through this - you need to take it a day at a time. start investing in yourself, start thinking of things you can look forward to (it may be a pathetic list right now, but as time passes, you'll find your adding more to it, because you are only 20 and you have your heart in the right place and an entire life left to live.)

 

always remember that your friends and family, however alienated htey are right now, want to see you happy. reach out to someone, anyone, who you know cares about you unconditionally and open up to them. this might even help you repair some old relationships that faded.

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Just some advice.

 

When people pull away from you, the very best thing you can do is pull away from them as well. She's unsure of what she wants. If you chase, if you pursue, you will push her farther away from you.

 

Focus your time not on her, but on yourself. Heal up as best you can. Work out, hang out with friends, dive into new hobbies. Your silence will speak volumes to her.

 

If she is to come back to you, if ever, it will be on her own accord. Nothing you do or say will bring her back, but everything you do or say can (and will) push her away.

 

The funny thing about relationships? The one who wants it the LEAST has the most power over it. Being her friend is the LAST thing you should do.

i know, but like i said... i have to see her tomorrow when she comes to get her things. that is going to be so hard for me :( then i should just not talk to her? i need to get out of our place and get a new place soon or this will just kill me being here, i try to get out as much as possible and when i am home, i come on here now because it helps me alot! and i thank all of you for ur support. I am just still confused, it just happened this past Sunday :( i can't even think straight. i don't know what to do.

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you don't really need to hear how to handle this. you already know what you need to do, you know your relationship better than anyone who reads it here, you know this girl, you know where you stand.

 

no amount of advice will really change your mind - you'll do what you need to. and eventually, after a lot of pain (either way), you'll be okay again. with OR without her.

 

it is right though - you being at her beck and call makes her the most important person in your life, not you. try and think of all this objectively - if she could walk away after five years, she must have her own reasons, her own problems, her own grievances. but the bottomline is, she's not letting her emotions get in the way of her rationality. you try and do that.

 

and even though it is sooo bleak right now, and even though there's no shortcut through this - you need to take it a day at a time. start investing in yourself, start thinking of things you can look forward to (it may be a pathetic list right now, but as time passes, you'll find your adding more to it, because you are only 20 and you have your heart in the right place and an entire life left to live.)

 

always remember that your friends and family, however alienated htey are right now, want to see you happy. reach out to someone, anyone, who you know cares about you unconditionally and open up to them. this might even help you repair some old relationships that faded.

i know, but i moved to the city 3 years ago with her so we could be together, and i don't know to many people out here, and my father lives 2 hours away from me and i don't have a car, my mom is close but she is leaving the country for the winter with her boyfriend tomorrow, and i have my brother across the city and some friends around here but i don't like bugging everyone everyday for something to do to keep my mind off things, i don't know if i am bugging people or not. I just feel like **** all the time and lonely :(

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oh honey, i've been there. the last two months were the lowest i've been in my life. it was just a constant ominous feeling of dooooom, dooooooom that went on in my head. i couldn't get out of bed, i stopped reading, writing, watching tv. i'd play music for hours, crying over lyrics written by depressed musicians. i'd wait miserably for him to call... i was committing emotional suicide.

 

i live alone in a country away from my home. i have two flatmates - you could call them "friends" but we are distant. i alienated the two or three real friends i had while i was in a relationship and when it came crashing down, i didn't know where to turn.

 

it was horrid, and i know where you are right now. but one day, i woke up and realized i didn't feel THAT badly. i started having good days again, days when I felt like picking up on my hobbies, or calling friends in other countries to talk, or skyping with family or whatever. Of course, I still have bad days, I still feel absolutely alone. But you have to start believing in yourself. And the sooner you start, the better.

 

Call your brother up, do some stuff together. You needn't talk to him about her if you don't want to, but being around people will force you to put on a brave face and get on. If for nothing, then to just stop from getting embarrassed. Trust me, it'll get better. It ALWAYS does.

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i know life goes on, but i don't want to have this sh**ty life for a long time till it gets better, i don't want to wait for another relationship that it could just happen again, i know i have to move on in time and everything, but its hard when i don't have that many people in my life anymore, i was fine with that while i was with her, i didn't make plans for the "what if" we weren't together anymore because i didn't see it happening so i didn't mind not having that many friends because i seemed complete with her. So its going to take me a long time to get started again with my life. i need to find people that are like me or something, but how can i find people like me? when i don't go out much :( im used to being at home with someone. thats me now. maybe when i get my own place i will learn to go out more and possibley go to bars? ew. lol i just don't like the whole bar environment. small town my whole life, i like the relaxing life.. thats why i was so happy with settling down kind of early and she made me feel like she wanted to also. she kind of rushed things in my view, and got scared and instead of working on it, she left :(

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Redmeda I feel your pain ... I truly do. Its been just over a year since the love of my life walked out on me.

 

I've been coming to loveshack eversince - every single day : S

 

I very rarely post, but your story called out to me ... the situation reminds me of the one I found myself in a year ago.

 

Redmeda you must change ...

 

I presume your ex is of a similar age to yourself?

 

Sounds to me she got bored of the life you two shared - Intially the idea of settling down and being in a secure loving relationship sounds good, but after a while EVERYONE at that AGE will become bored with that philiosophy to life.

 

The two sayings "You're only young once" and "You're a long time dead" spring to mind ... it sounds to me like your ex has realised these things ... she wants to have fun.

 

Now this doesn't necessarily mean she's going to be sleeping around with every Tom, Dick and Harry, and it doesn't necessarily mean it's game over for you guys.

 

It does however mean if you want a second chance of getting her back YOU'VE got to change. I'm almost certain, you are very different to the guy your ex first fell in love with, dare I say it ... a guy not half as exciting as the one she fell in love with.

 

Although It will be the most difficult thing you've ever been through I believe if alongside strict NC and other changes to your life you will have a chance of getting this girl back ...

 

DO NOT CHASE, DO NOT BEG, DO NOT CRY, just let the girl be.

 

You WILL without doubt get very STRONG urges to some how make contact with her. These urges will however subside when your body releases seratonin - So work out - as much as your body will let you.

 

CHANGE YOUR LIFE, move out of the flat - If you cant move redecorate, move around the furniture, do anything you can just to make it different. Buy new clothes, get a new haircut, go out with friends. Take up hobbies, not only will they take your mind of things but they will add a string to your bow.

 

Now ... this isnt a short term plan nor is it full proof. It is however your best chance. It might take 3 months, 6 months, who knows. Just follow the NC rule as long as it takes - Don't worry about her forgetting about you - she won't - You not being in her world WILL make her think about you.

 

Remember Redmeda "The faster you chase after a horse, the quicker it shall run"

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This post might seem harsh but I feel it's needed.

 

Reading that post I couldn't help but think "How pathetic". Yeah, 5 years is a long time to be together with someone and your probebly going to be feeling like this for a long time. But you can either submit to the pain and sulk about it or get out there and fight it. Easier said than done ofcourse and I can guarantee that for the next 6-12 months (possiblly longer) you will constantly be feeling like this. So the best thing you can do is self-improve! Bury yourself into little pursuits i.e learn a new sport, subject, driving, get to a gym, go to clubs, volunteer, go on holiday, go to a foreign country. How does this help? It takes your mind off her...and don't start with the "but I can't, I love her too much" track of thinking :sick: That is a defeatist attitude (I just reliased someone posted much of the same above but I took a long time to write that so balls to it)

 

Honestly mate, I wasn't joking when I said that I thought your post was pathetic, it seems to me that this girl is your whole life. Don't you have a life of your own? I know this is going to be hard for you buddy, I imagine your feeling like something valuable has been snatched away, afterall 5 years is a long time but try a see this break-up as a good thing.

 

She says she still loves me, and she's not sure if we will get back together, and says only time will tell. She seems to be moving on fast though. I am not sure how to take this but on Tuesday (3 days after) she went to a movie already with a "Family Friend" and my buddy from work saw them out. Would she have told me if he didn't see them out?

 

Yeah, you may get back together but your goal should be to get over her completely before you even think about getting back together. Your relationship ended for a reason, personally I think its because you were too comfortable with your situation and being comfortable things got too routine? I mean its funny you should mention that your 20 and apparently more mature than most 20 year olds? Maybe she isnt? Come on 2 years of adulthood and your wanting to "settle down"? Fair play but you must have understood that you guys were going to miss out alot. She may have reliased this?

 

NC is a good way for getting over someone. It will be a hard road but you can take it and become stronger for it. Anyway I really think you need to work on yourself mate, hell it can't hurt?

 

Good luck

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i know, i have to do the NC at all after she moves her things out Today. I may have a roomate that i talked to this morning ( i just got up, bad dream woke me up) (yes about her).. (and another guy) i shouldn't be thinking like that, but i just couldn't amagin that right now. it would kill me. i need to stop hurting and move on if this is the end. i have to get out of this place of ours. :(

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She said she was coming today early in the morning to get her stuff and i been waiting all day for her to call and say she is coming to get it. So i called her and asked her whats up? and she says "i will be there maybe after 5PM" i told her no because my mom is leaving for the winter tonight so then she says i guess i will come over tomorrow after work. This is so messed up, and she went out of town last night and now she is like "busy" or something on her day off... im thinking its another guy, i don't want to care but i really do so much and it hurts, this website is helping me just try and forget but it was only 1 week ago today. Should i let her just come and get her stuff when she has time?! i don't know what to do. i still don't get how she sounds so... like nothing is wrong on the phone and almost like a "whatever" voice. when she tells me she still loves me when we did talk a couple days after the break up. Was she just being nice about it? i am alot stronger now then i was before i came on here, but it is still very very hard :( any answers with the things i am saying here? is she seeing another guy? she says she would never and didn't do this to look for other guys. what can i believe?! so many things playing the Cycle GAME in my head, over and over and over again, what if?! how come?! why?! does she not care at all?! :(

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I can't imagine what you're going through. I've been thinking about a possible end to my 1 year relationship and it kills me to think about it. I know I would be doing the same exact things in your situation. Do you think it's possible that she met someone else on her trip? Just a thought. It does sound like she moving on much more quickly than you..... And it doesn't sound like she wants you back :(. I know that sucks beyond belief, you feel hopeless and like you lost something you can never get back........ But I guess you've gotta keep living right? What else is there to do? Please try to focus on other things just like she is doing. You'll be better for it in time.

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I dunno, seriously it's like your not listening here.

 

Ok, you spent the whole day waiting for her to come by and get her stuff. Fantastic, look she broke up with you, your relationship is over, you really need to accept that fact because the longer you keep those defeatist thoughts; "is she with another guy?" "does she still love me?" "why is she being so cold?" just delays the inevitable healing process.

 

So let me lay it down for you, yes it is very likely there is another guy involved. Infact she probebly was spending time with this guy when she was supposed to get her stuff.

 

Should i let her just come and get her stuff when she has time?!

 

Simple answer, no :mad: She f***ed around with your time, a whole day might I add. She will now have to make time herself and work around your soon to be busy life.

 

i don't know what to do. i still don't get how she sounds so... like nothing is wrong on the phone and almost like a "whatever" voice.

 

Because she is over you and is likely fixing up her next relationship, it's hard for you yes but to be honest you seem content to keep pinning after her. Personally I think you are't ready for a relationship, I mean this girl has turned you into an emotional wreck in the space of a week. Look at all those questions your asking! I counted freaking 10 in the last post alone? She has confused you GREATLY and you are having alot of trouble dealing with it.

 

Now to answer all those questions in one; it doesn't matter! What is knowing the answers to those questions going to give you? Peace of mind? Hardly

 

Please listen to this mate, you need to get over her. YES she may turn around and say "lets get back together" but frankly, you need to sort your life out and pull yourself together before you even think about it. Your relationship broke up for a reason and I beleive that you two got too comfortable but that doesn't matter either. This is about you! STOP waiting on her hand and foot! STOP thinking about those questions that ultimately mean nothing! START living for yourself!

 

Also, when she does creep into your head think about this instead;

 

She said she was coming today early in the morning to get her stuff and i been waiting all day for her to call and say she is coming to get it. So i called her and asked her whats up? and she says "i will be there maybe after 5PM"

 

i still don't get how she sounds so... like nothing is wrong on the phone and almost like a "whatever" voice.

 

when she tells me she still loves me when we did talk a couple days after the break up. Was she just being nice about it?

 

Right there mate, shes over you and theres a bunch of evidence to support it.

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Dude, I'm exactly where u are right now. My ex GF of about 2 years, all of a sudden broke it off with me. Same thing a week before she broke up with me, we talked about marraige, kids, and all that other stuff. I just broke the NC rule today by going to her house and hanging out with her. I had a 2 day streak goin and I broke it. Now I got to start over.

 

When your ex says she loves u, it's because she does, unfortunately love isn't always enough to keep a relationship together.

 

I know u said u alienated ur friends, but it's the only way to get her off of your mind. I'm still thinking about my ex constantly, and it's killing me. 2nite my buddies and I are goin to TGIF to watch the football game. It's not gonna take the pain away completely, but it take my mind off of her for a few moments.

 

If she is seeing someone else, as hard as it is, be happy that she found someone she ejoys being with. Before I left my ex's house today, I told her that I hope that one day she will find someone that she loves and wants to be with, as much as it killed me to say.

 

As for chasing her, all I can do is quote Adam Sandler in The Wedding Singer :Why would you want to dance with someone that doesn't want to dance with you

 

I know it feels like the end of the world, but as hard as it is to believe right now, you will get over it. Trust me, your not the first to feel this way and sure as hell ain't gonna be the last to feel like this. Just keep on, keepin on.

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Yes, you should let her get her things, its not gonna make a bit of diffrence, if you hold her off from getting her things the only thing shes gonna do is say your trying to hold her back.

 

She once acted like she loved you so much and is now acting cold and distant like whatever' is because shes over you, one thing that everybody at LS can agree on is that the dumpers seem to move on emotionally before they let you know about it, its kinda cowardly but the truth.

 

Theres 2 reasons why she could be feeling this way.......

 

1. Her friends, this happened after she hung with her friends right? So her hanging out with her friends thats single and doesnt have any type of commit' might make her feel older than she is, and make her feel like shes settling at a young age. Her friends probably put the doubt in her mind to begin with, them flirting or dating numerious guys could make her feel left out or like shes missing something.

 

2. She has a new interest or may we say new BF, if this is the case, shes been dealing with this for weeks or months due to her not feeling safe with him, not feeling sure of her self, but now that she is shes coming to the light with it. Hes new and is interesting to her so therefore shes caught off guard. Hes like a new car, you might have a good running car, but if you see something new and fresh, your gonna wanna try it out, and thats the best way to put it. 92% of the time its a new guy.

 

The last thing you wanna do is be friends with you ex, shes already said the worst thing that can be said in your case "I want to be single" being on LS for many years I've seen that turn into badness.

 

Shes gonna swear that she doesnt want a new BF, and soon shes gonna lie to you, or she might already have one, at this point and time you cant believe anything that the dumper tells you.

 

Being friends with her is gonna only bring you hurt, the last thing you wanna hear about is her and the new BF and what there doing, ya know.

Your probably feeling like you know her better than anyone here on LS and that you shouldnt listen and if so I understand where your coming from because I was the same way when I was new on LS, and I wish I would have listen to the things people were telling me because they've been thru it before and when it came true I was left feeling like " I told you so".

 

To all of the other questions it doesnt matter, but alot of people need closure from a ex before being able to move on, in that case youll get that in a couple of months if she has a bf, but still the best thing you can ever do for yourself, is never know whats going on to her.

 

And when she comes over do try to get sympathy and pity, act the opposite, act happy and like your going on with yourlife, im serious! I did the same thing with my ex and she wanted me back, it only lasted for a couple of hours though until I started to act sad again, but seriously the last thing you want to do is let her see you down, act like your on cloud 9 when shes there, hell even lie about a date if you must.

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i know how u feel and what youre going through. i just broke up with my gf of 7yrs. all your thoughts and questions came across my mind also, you are not the only one. i am on my emotional roller coaster ride right now being confused, happy, and sad. i read your post saying you dont like the bar scene. you should really try giving things you never did when you had your gf because it does help a little and gives you space to not think about her. i wasnt into bars either when i was with my gf but last night i went my friends and i had a great time even tho my ex popped into my head it wasnt tha bad. i wanted the exact same thing as you, to settle down and slowly move to bigger things. you gotta realize thats not gonna happen with her. its time to start something new and do new things. the way your ex treats you is the same way mines treat me, the "whatever stage". they do this to piss you off and the best thing you can do is ignore it and let it go. i admit my ex was the love of my life and i did alienate all my friends just for her. but theyre still friends and they will help. talk to them, vent it out. remember youre not the only one im going through the exact same thing as you right now.

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hey guys, thanks so much for all your help.... NC works, i feel alot better already.... im actually talking to a new girl that is going through the samething and we are getting along really well, my ex came over today and got some of her things and it didn't hurt as bad. I am almost sure that she is seeing someone else already just the way she is but.... i really don't even care at the moment, i will make it and only time is left for me now. i am getting my new place at the end of the month so i will be alot better once i move out. LOVESHACK saved me, i thank you all again so much you have really helped. :) life goes on!

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Really I can`t believe that, what is happening with you is almost the same as what is happening with me, while reading the sequences of your story I thought your are talking about me.

 

beside I have daughter from her and she prevent me to see her,everything else you are talking about is almost done for me.

 

I can`t tell you any advices because I'm passing in the same situation you have and I need for urgent advices.

 

what is you and me are thinking about those women are love us as much as we love them and need for us as we need for them, and we don't want to believe that they are with other men in spite it could be the logical truth.

 

bro I feel your emotions completely and I wish for both of us to heal from our disease which destroy or live badly.

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It's powerful to see you all going through the same as me.

 

On November 4th, the girl who said she'd be with me forever-- the girl who said she loved me so, SO much... said she wanted to be single.

 

I wouldn't say it felt like a knife through the heart.

I'd say it felt like a jackhammer laced with acid and spikes, slowly drilling through your chest and ripping apart your heart into little shreds.

 

Losing loved ones is by FAR the hardest thing you go through in life-- it really is.

 

You are not over it yet. I know you think you are, and I don't want to rain on your parade. But I want you to face the oncoming pain so that you aren't blindsided and end up in a slump worse than you already are, my friend. It's going to hurt more-- you are by far just beginning. But that's ok, don't let it get you down.

 

Because I am right here with you. There are millions with broken hearts right now-- more than you can even imagine.

 

I am 21, and have been blessed in a lot of ways, but this rips me to shreds as much as it rips you to shreds too. I know your pain, and I know this pain-- it's not the first I've felt it.

 

But I share your mentality my friend-- I want that girl to settle down with. Never was into promiscuity or one night stands, which a lot of people found interesting since they think I'm pretty high on the looks scale. Forgive me for bragging, I'm really not. Just trying to post one of my positives for my own benefit.

 

In reality, it's a dark tunnel you're stuck in... everything on earth reminds you of her, and nothing you hear or do immediately will fix anything. You think her jumping into a new relationship will help her? F no. She's gunna be devastated in like 2 months.

 

No contact is a powerful tool. Unfortunately, last night I broke down and txt her, and she didn't even reply. I sent her a text full of positivity and that I do love her and miss her and I know she does me too. But the girl who said she loved me and planned to marry me, never replied to me.

 

The moral of the story certainly can be to find things about YOURSELF you love-- find strength in yourself. Rely on yourself. Because you can NEVER lose yourself! Take salvage in that... you will be around forever. You can't ever leave yourself-- so seriously, take some refuge in that. You've ALWAYS got you, at the very least.

 

Let the girl burn. In my honest opinion, girls are nuts. Just when you really trust in one, they let you down. Sounds depressing, but it will make you stronger. You will recover, but it won't be immediate. It will take you months. But you DO meet someone else. You ALWAYS do.

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Yes, you should let her get her things, its not gonna make a bit of diffrence, if you hold her off from getting her things the only thing shes gonna do is say your trying to hold her back.

 

She once acted like she loved you so much and is now acting cold and distant like whatever' is because shes over you, one thing that everybody at LS can agree on is that the dumpers seem to move on emotionally before they let you know about it, its kinda cowardly but the truth.

 

Theres 2 reasons why she could be feeling this way.......

 

1. Her friends, this happened after she hung with her friends right? So her hanging out with her friends thats single and doesnt have any type of commit' might make her feel older than she is, and make her feel like shes settling at a young age. Her friends probably put the doubt in her mind to begin with, them flirting or dating numerious guys could make her feel left out or like shes missing something.

 

2. She has a new interest or may we say new BF, if this is the case, shes been dealing with this for weeks or months due to her not feeling safe with him, not feeling sure of her self, but now that she is shes coming to the light with it. Hes new and is interesting to her so therefore shes caught off guard. Hes like a new car, you might have a good running car, but if you see something new and fresh, your gonna wanna try it out, and thats the best way to put it. 92% of the time its a new guy.

 

The last thing you wanna do is be friends with you ex, shes already said the worst thing that can be said in your case "I want to be single" being on LS for many years I've seen that turn into badness.

 

Shes gonna swear that she doesnt want a new BF, and soon shes gonna lie to you, or she might already have one, at this point and time you cant believe anything that the dumper tells you.

 

Being friends with her is gonna only bring you hurt, the last thing you wanna hear about is her and the new BF and what there doing, ya know.

Your probably feeling like you know her better than anyone here on LS and that you shouldnt listen and if so I understand where your coming from because I was the same way when I was new on LS, and I wish I would have listen to the things people were telling me because they've been thru it before and when it came true I was left feeling like " I told you so".

 

To all of the other questions it doesnt matter, but alot of people need closure from a ex before being able to move on, in that case youll get that in a couple of months if she has a bf, but still the best thing you can ever do for yourself, is never know whats going on to her.

 

And when she comes over do try to get sympathy and pity, act the opposite, act happy and like your going on with yourlife, im serious! I did the same thing with my ex and she wanted me back, it only lasted for a couple of hours though until I started to act sad again, but seriously the last thing you want to do is let her see you down, act like your on cloud 9 when shes there, hell even lie about a date if you must.

 

I recommend you listen to what this person has to say as i have been through almost the exact situation as you have!! my relationship lasted for 7 years then bam shes gone into the arms of another man (which i found out later) we were both young she was 23 i was 24 we were each others first loves, a year has past now and i really am over my ex and have not heared a thing from her atall although i am confident in time we will talk again one way or another as the curiosity never disapears!!. but trust me you will look back in time and be able to smile about this!! look at my story!! good luck to you mate i know how you feel.

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*i understand what you are feeling! believe me i know i was dumped October 23,2008 we were together for 5 years we lived together for 3 months and were happy as could be but that day it ended there was nothing i could say or do about it. I was like you hoping and hoping this could change but i finally understand she wasn't happy(right or wrong) . I have the exact same feeling you are having i need help as well so if anybody can email me or reply on here for me it would help.

 

anyways i know you gave her everything and put everything into her and now its gone just try and focus on you i know everyone says to do that and i know how you feel you probably say if i do this then maybe she will and that how i am right now

i broke no contact and begged yesterday don't do that to your self you will only feel worse. I am like you kinda lay back not really a party kinda guy and not many friends or family in my life so i understand email me maybe talking to someone with the exact or almost same problem will help i am young too 22 so i know were you at in your life just email me if you need someone i can relate and maybe we can help each other through this f-up time

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