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confused breakup


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Old 14th March 2002, 4:29 PM   #1
ak
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confused breakup

my b/f of nine months just broke up w/me..we're on a "break" as he calls it. this means i shouldnt talk to him for the next week at all. but he still loves me?! this is so confusing, can anyone make sense of it? does he love me or not?
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Old 14th March 2002, 4:53 PM   #2
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Re: confused breakup

1. "my b/f of nine months just broke up w/me..we're on a "break" as he calls it."

A break-up is NOT a break, as he calls it. A break-up means it's over and done with, unless there is a reconciliation later on. Consider the relationship terminated if he actually broke up with you.

He may have told you it was just a "break" to make you feel better at the time and to save himself some grief as well. You should have gotten this clear in your mind. Maybe you ought to call him back and ask for clarification. There is not way we here in the forum can know what was on his mind.

2. "this means i shouldnt talk to him for the next week at all."

You should never talk to him again unless you have important business to discuss. If he actually broke up with you, any contact at all with him will impair your ability to heal from this relationship and move on with your life.

Why would you want to talk with a guy who broke up with you? What purpose would it serve at this time?

3. "but he still loves me?!"

So, that and ten cents won't pay the sales tax on $2 worth of cow manure in most states. He broke up with you...so what significance is it if he loves you or not. Hey, I love a lot of people I hardly ever hear from.

4. "this is so confusing, can anyone make sense of it?

does he love me or not?"

Again, if he broke up with you it's over and whether or not he loves you is totally irrelevant. I would say that absent any other extenuating circumstances if a guy who loves you breaks up with you, he's pretty crazy and ought to be committed to a mental hospital for treatment.

It wouldn't be confusing at all if at the time he broke up with you you took the time to get everything very clear in your mind.

Now if he just took a break from you, that's a lot of bull as well. He would have done that to see if he could make it with some other chick. When people take breaks from relationships, they are all but over.

If I were you I would write this off and move on. Improve your communications skills so you will fully understand what people are telling you in the future. Asking people on the Internet to explain to you what's in a guy's mind is not something you want to be doing. How can we know???

Go find a guy who isn't so goofy as the one who may or may not have just broken up with you or who took a one-week vacation from you. There are lots of them out there who would love to be with you and who wouldn't find it necessary to take a "break" from you...if that's what it was.
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Old 14th March 2002, 5:16 PM   #3
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Re: confused breakup

A break means...

They want to break up with you, but don't want to hurt themsevles by making you feel bad. After about a week to a month, they will tell you that the relationship has not worked out, and they WILL leave. My girlfriend of 2 years left me that same way...

From Tony's message

"There are lots of them out there who would love to be with you and who wouldn't find it necessary to take a "break" from you...if that's what it was.

"

I'm one of these guys that DOESN't take breaks. Then again, all the girls in NJ are taken, so I'm really out of luck anymore . Don't date someone if you don't have any intention on getting married. This same rule goes for both genders. I've learned a lot in my past 2 relationships, and I wouldn't change a thing. I've gained the knowledge I need to help me decide if someone is only dating to be dating, as opposed to dating with intentions of getting married. Be careful, and let this guy go... he will only cause pain to you if you continue this.
Quote:
1. "my b/f of nine months just broke up w/me..we're on a "break" as he calls it." A break-up is NOT a break, as he calls it. A break-up means it's over and done with, unless there is a reconciliation later on. Consider the relationship terminated if he actually broke up with you. He may have told you it was just a "break" to make you feel better at the time and to save himself some grief as well. You should have gotten this clear in your mind. Maybe you ought to call him back and ask for clarification. There is not way we here in the forum can know what was on his mind. 2. "this means i shouldnt talk to him for the next week at all." You should never talk to him again unless you have important business to discuss. If he actually broke up with you, any contact at all with him will impair your ability to heal from this relationship and move on with your life.

Why would you want to talk with a guy who broke up with you? What purpose would it serve at this time? 3. "but he still loves me?!" So, that and ten cents won't pay the sales tax on $2 worth of cow manure in most states. He broke up with you...so what significance is it if he loves you or not. Hey, I love a lot of people I hardly ever hear from. 4. "this is so confusing, can anyone make sense of it? does he love me or not?" Again, if he broke up with you it's over and whether or not he loves you is totally irrelevant. I would say that absent any other extenuating circumstances if a guy who loves you breaks up with you, he's pretty crazy and ought to be committed to a mental hospital for treatment. It wouldn't be confusing at all if at the time he broke up with you you took the time to get everything very clear in your mind. Now if he just took a break from you, that's a lot of bull as well. He would have done that to see if he could make it with some other chick. When people take breaks from relationships, they are all but over. If I were you I would write this off and move on. Improve your communications skills so you will fully understand what people are telling you in the future. Asking people on the Internet to explain to you what's in a guy's mind is not something you want to be doing. How can we know???

Go find a guy who isn't so goofy as the one who may or may not have just broken up with you or who took a one-week vacation from you. There are lots of them out there who would love to be with you and who wouldn't find it necessary to take a "break" from you...if that's what it was.
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Old 14th March 2002, 8:32 PM   #4
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Re: confused breakup

Its not confusing, your in denial. If he wants a break, whats the reason? Why does he want a break? Because its not working out?

Its easier for a man to say its just a break to avoid seeing you get emotional.

Hes free! Set yourself free too. He doesnt feel your pain, so whats the use in hurting.
Quote:
my b/f of nine months just broke up w/me..we're on a "break" as he calls it. this means i shouldnt talk to him for the next week at all. but he still loves me?! this is so confusing, can anyone make sense of it? does he love me or not?
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Old 15th March 2002, 1:08 AM   #5
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Re: confused breakup

I wouldn't ever talk to a sob who told me he needed a break from me. But I have self-esteem. Sweetie, find someone else. Don't be a doormat. Good luck.
Quote:
Its not confusing, your in denial. If he wants a break, whats the reason? Why does he want a break? Because its not working out? Its easier for a man to say its just a break to avoid seeing you get emotional. Hes free! Set yourself free too. He doesnt feel your pain, so whats the use in hurting.
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