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Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 7th March 2002, 8:01 AM   #16
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Re: The final decision

Another thing to remember - because she is from Japan, taking a break from each other is not as simple as her going to live with her mom in the next town from where I live - it is an event which will cost $1500-2000 in airfare and probably hundreds more in additional costs. I don't state that she is from Japan as a put-down or to stereotype her or to say that she's any LESS of a person than me - I state it because it's a fact and it adds complications to this situation that need to be considered.

IF she goes back to her country there is a chance that neither of us will be able to afford to see the other for a year or two because of our level of income. Therefore taking a break from each other is a MAJOR issue. That is why I refer to her country of origin.
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Old 7th March 2002, 10:41 AM   #17
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Where are you Tony?

I'm waiting for you to chime in. Your blunt, in-your-face, responses are one of the things I enjoy most about this board.
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Old 7th March 2002, 10:52 AM   #18
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Re: The final decision

I would be careful of someone who in anger can tell the love of their life that they don't love them. Words are important; do you want to be with someone for the rest of your life that can blurt out hurtful things? For me, this would be a big issue and unless unresolved would be a deal breaker. Be careful.
Well I'm back. A few of you can remember my old posts I'm sure. Well today I'm going to break netiquette and post a private email. As some of you remember, my Japanese GF and I have been going through a rough couple of weeks. We were at a point where we thought possibly we needed a break - maybe 6 months or even a year apart. I didn't particularly like the idea, but I heard it enough from enough people that I thought maybe my judgement was clouded by my feelings. Well, yesterday I received the following email (I've changed the names to protect privacy)then when I came home she had put a letter in the mailbox titled "The 50 reasons why I love you" and this has really confused the issue. I really am torn now - I do love her very much and up until 2 weeks ago was ready to spend the rest of my life with her - but her recent temper problems and stubbornness she has shown has put doubts in my head. Please read this email and give me some thoughts on the subject. Thanks I just finished lunch. I hope you are having a nice day. I think you are very tired and sleepy ...

I am sorry. I am going to make some lists to make our relationship stronger. I love you very much and I always want to

be with you. I do not want to lose you. I do not want to think about my life without

you. You are very important to me and I need YOU in my life. Please forgive me that I said "I do not love you" last night. It was not true. (my name), I love you with

all my heart. I am sorry I hurt you so much.

I hope we can always talk things and that

we will have a happy life together FOR EVER.

Thank you for sending me a lot of articles.

I am happy that you love me and care for me so much. You are so sweet and I love you so much. I miss you and want to hug you and want to be hugged by you. I can't wait to see you! I love you! (her name)
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Old 7th March 2002, 12:11 PM   #19
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Re: The final decision

What people write is a bunch of bunk, usually. It represents how they feel (maybe) at the moment they are writing the stuff.

My drawers a filled with love letters from ladies who eventually gave me the boot and wanted nothing to do with me anymore. The letters say how they love me with all their heart and want to be with me forever...yeah, right.

Sometimes people write this love letter stuff to convince themselves of something. I think in her case it's pure and simple manipulation. I promise you, the economy in Japan sucks now, jobs are hard to find, people are miserable and she's smart enough to know she's better off here. She's not smart enough to know she's got to change her ways if she wants to stay with you.

Maybe she's got some sort of medical problem that's causing her anger and other unacceptable behaviors. Explore that.

Forget what she writes. If the two of you don't get along or have serious issues that cannot be worked out, forget it and move on.

Taking a break from a relationship to make it better is like leaving a broken TV in the garage hoping you can bring it back into the house next year and it will magically work. Breaks only drive two people further apart. Well, maybe getting back together in a reunion would be nice for a week or two but that time apart drives people in different directions.

If you have to go to extreme measures to make a relationship work, it's just not worth the trouble.

This gal is jerking you around with her sweet letters. They are a tool of manipulation. Don't take my word for it. Take her back and see just how long she goes right back into her tantrums.

Sure you may have some good times. But if you're not wanting to pay for those by taking the BS that comes with it, spring yourself from this and go find a nice girl you can get along with.
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Old 7th March 2002, 2:53 PM   #20
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Re: Where are you Tony?

his isnt a chat site,and Tony isnt always here
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