bigmoney9595 Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 Don't know how to handle loosing her, never felt like this before. Feel like a little boy not a man. Just can't handle it, can't stop shaking, getting upset, or this nasty feeling in my stomach. I'm such a wuss, how do you cope? keeping busy i can't focus, being home the lonlieness and silence is killing me, can't even be with friends because I'm such a downer right now..... Link to post Share on other sites
absolution Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 I hear ya bro, and you're not the only one that goes through it. Ive had two devastating breakups in my life, and I hated waking up with that anxiety feeling and then just thinking about that person all damn day every damn day. No other way around it except try to find things that get you to stop thinking about her. Try playing xbox, or going out with friends, anything really. Link to post Share on other sites
LateBloomer Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 Since you last had contact. It really does just take time and you have to hold on. I know it's completely unbearable at times. Cruise around these boards. I have a couple of threads of my own telling my sob story. I've been completely beside myself. If it's only been a day or two, you're just gonna have to tough it out. Your friends shouldn't care if you're a downer. They should be there for you. Same goes for family. The phone is also your friend, as are these forums. If it's been a while, they you need to find a hole in the clouds and do something for yourself. I find massive amounts of exercise to help, a little bit during exercise but moreso over time (like the next day and days following). Trust me, it IS possible to channel the pain into productive things. When you do, you have a secret weapon to transform your life. Why is that good? Because one day (and I know this is impossible to believe right now) you will find someone BETTER than your ex. If you play your cards right you will have more things inside you that can potentially resonate with someone else ... rather than trying to shadow box with things that may or may not be real. Good luck man. Hang in there. The storms do pass and get somewhat shorter over time. But like the monsoon season, it's not like they get shorter every day. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bigmoney9595 Posted August 21, 2008 Author Share Posted August 21, 2008 Thanks, I appreciate it... guess I have to tough it out. Link to post Share on other sites
laars Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 Hey big money you and I are in the same boat. Finished a relationship with my ex 2 days ago because of trust issues (from his side). The day before it ended i was getting messages and emails saying how much he loved me so I feel like I've been hit by a bus. I have no idea what will make things better right now because I'm in the same position as you. i just do a bit of work... have a bit of a cry and hope to god things get better from here. Link to post Share on other sites
Mending1985 Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 I know these sorts of things may not interest you, but in the early stages I found these things helped me: I started making jewellery Started buying as many dvds about strength, and moving on that I could find Started cooking HEAPS (like when I was having a down day, I spent the morning planning, then went and bought food, and then spent the rest of the day cooking until I was exhausted) Exercise is always a good one - I agree - take up boxing! Searching online for free activities around my area like plays, concerts etc My friends were pretty good about it but I didn't get to see them much so I had to focus on doing stuff on my own to get through it. Link to post Share on other sites
ioncebelieved Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 Let me assure you that YOU are NOT A WUSS!!! When you hurt and love someone, you through out all the macho bull**** out the window!! Dude, I broke down like a shotgun many of times in front of ex, on the phone with ex and I just wish I would have been stronger!! Problem was I trusted my heart to her and allowed my emotions to show.... I doubt I will ever do this again because of the hurt and pain I went through. I still hurt, but am getting better each and everyday. Just let experience guide you next time because I sure will. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bigmoney9595 Posted August 22, 2008 Author Share Posted August 22, 2008 Since you last had contact. It really does just take time and you have to hold on. I know it's completely unbearable at times. Cruise around these boards. I have a couple of threads of my own telling my sob story. I've been completely beside myself. If it's only been a day or two, you're just gonna have to tough it out. Your friends shouldn't care if you're a downer. They should be there for you. Same goes for family. The phone is also your friend, as are these forums. If it's been a while, they you need to find a hole in the clouds and do something for yourself. I find massive amounts of exercise to help, a little bit during exercise but moreso over time (like the next day and days following). Trust me, it IS possible to channel the pain into productive things. When you do, you have a secret weapon to transform your life. Why is that good? Because one day (and I know this is impossible to believe right now) you will find someone BETTER than your ex. If you play your cards right you will have more things inside you that can potentially resonate with someone else ... rather than trying to shadow box with things that may or may not be real. Good luck man. Hang in there. The storms do pass and get somewhat shorter over time. But like the monsoon season, it's not like they get shorter every day. last we spoke was a couple of days ago when the incident I mentioned occured.... doing the NC thing but will be hard - its hard in general but we also work together and sit in close proximity Link to post Share on other sites
Author bigmoney9595 Posted August 22, 2008 Author Share Posted August 22, 2008 Let me assure you that YOU are NOT A WUSS!!! When you hurt and love someone, you through out all the macho bull**** out the window!! Dude, I broke down like a shotgun many of times in front of ex, on the phone with ex and I just wish I would have been stronger!! Problem was I trusted my heart to her and allowed my emotions to show.... I doubt I will ever do this again because of the hurt and pain I went through. I still hurt, but am getting better each and everyday. Just let experience guide you next time because I sure will. Sorry you went/going through the same thing, don't wish it on anyone. In retrospect wish I was/am stronger.. now I HAVE to be strong because of NC, and even stronger since we work together. Starting to accept it, but if I find out shes seeing someon I really may go over the edge. I know I'm a grat catch.. just want to be caught by her..still... UGHHHHH Link to post Share on other sites
Shuffty Posted August 23, 2008 Share Posted August 23, 2008 Totally agree with ioncebelieved, you're not a wuss, dude, cut yourself some slack. Everybody has times in their life when they feel vulnerable or weak, i think you're judging yourself too harshly for getting upset over/in front of her, you're only human. Link to post Share on other sites
Aleeed Posted August 23, 2008 Share Posted August 23, 2008 I am going through the same thing. Just tough it out, I know its hard but remember, its one day closer to the day you will finally be over her. If you ever need help, we are all here for you. Its only been 2 weeks since me and my ex split and shes already with someone else, but its her loss. Spend time being positive and live for yourself, your friends and family are always there for you, you are not alone. Stay strong Link to post Share on other sites
nopainnogain Posted August 23, 2008 Share Posted August 23, 2008 This is a good opportunity to test your resolve. Embrace it. You will come out better then ever if you play your cards right. Then someday youll laugh and ask yourself, "damn, I was a heartbroken over that bi&ch :confused:" Link to post Share on other sites
merlin2 Posted August 23, 2008 Share Posted August 23, 2008 Lots of people on here can empathise with what you're going through.Sometimes we dont want to bother our friends with these feelings, thats why this forum is a godsend.people ready to give you some moral support and advice.You are going through a grieving process and its at its most intense right now.Try and think about it like riding a wave, you cant escape these feelings right now, but with every day that passes the pain will lessen, albeit sometimes that pain will again return for a few fleeting moments when you least expect it.Another poster mentioned excercise-cycling, swimming, anything that helps get rid of your nervous energy.beleive me you'll feel a bit better after.one day at a time, try different things and see what works for you.Just hold onto the thought that one day you'll wake up and not feel this bad anymore, it WILL happen. Link to post Share on other sites
df273 Posted August 24, 2008 Share Posted August 24, 2008 ...you cant escape these feelings right now, but with every day that passes the pain will lessen, albeit sometimes that pain will again return for a few fleeting moments when you least expect it. wow, that is so true. some days i believe it more then others, but that is by far the best explanation i have ever heard. it is not going to be easy at times, but listen to people on these forums. they are in a better mind state being a 3rd party looking on a relationship. it's 3 months for me, and i've did somethings i wish i didn't do these past few months, but whats done is done. look forward to tomorrow, not back on yesterday. Link to post Share on other sites
Jono Posted August 24, 2008 Share Posted August 24, 2008 Yeah Im in the same boat. I made the mistake of seeing her the other day and it brought my crashing back down. I have been weak too, calling and talking to her, trying to explain my point of view over and over again. I regret it, but it's a powerful urge, to contact her. The worst part for me is I know she's pretty happy with how it worked out and she's already moved on. Im the one who's devastated. Link to post Share on other sites
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