20 months, and yet another strange relationship disappears..

[Chris1479]

Hey guys,

 

I suppose I'm just asking for some kind of outside perspective on this, I'm no newbie to getting dumped in the most horrible manner, or cheated on and such... which is why this most recent turn of events just confuses the hell out of me, I'm almost unable to make heads nor tails of it. So here's the story.

 

Around 2 years ago my last gf shagged her 30 year old teacher, left me, then came back again, and then dumped me again (just so she could be sure I presume ) and very very shortly after that, a girl I'd met once before ages ago just starts talking to me online. Before I knew what was happening I was really in the deep end again.

 

So, 20 months after THAT, around a week or so ago, now she leaves me too. She was a lovely girl, a bit strange, prone to hissyfits and temper tantrums, incredibly paranoid too e.g every girl I talk to wants me in bed (I wish).

 

Now that this is over, I feel... very lonely, and quite sad... it's no overstatement to say that she did understand me incredibly well and vice versa. But....... where the hell is the gut wrenching, you-put-my-heart-in-a-blender-B*TCH response? Did I just never really love her? What? Is the reason I'm not pissing my pants because I secretly believe she'll come back? Or have I become so used to getting really screwed with, that it doesn't really get to me any more? Almost as if.. hey this is a walk in the park in comparison to any of the other stuff, but really guys, any ideas?

 

After the initial emotions, I was very emotional and said a lot of really nice stuff, and then feeling very f*cked up, and then asked her if she was sure - and now..... I feel I vaguely miss having someone text me, or to talk to, to go out with, but not much else.

 

What the hell guys? Some life experience is definitely needed here - I'm almost wondering if the thing that scares me the most is that I never loved her in the first place, and yet went along with it.

 

Ideas anyone?

 

Sorry it's a bit long too,

 

Regards,

Chris

[critter909]

Hmmm. I would say you are desensetized from being dumped and cheated on. You said that has happened several times. And maybe you really didn't love her, you were still getting over the previous relationship when you met her, it may have been the dreaded "rebound." Or you may freak out a week from now, you know yourself best.

[Chris1479]

any other feedback anyone?

[teejsd2008]

Hi Chris,

 

There could be any # of reasons for why you're not feeling depressed or beating yourself up over this. How recent was the breakup? You could be in a state of denial and feel numb to what happend and could feel it later on, or maybe those negative qualities you described (tantrums, insecurity, etc...) have caused something inside you to agree that the breakup was the right thing for u. Most importantly if are content don't force yourself to feel sad because you think it's something you're supposed to be feeling. On the other hand, if you are in denial, I do believe in grieving and it might be helpful to set one day to reflect on it and think about the loss, cry and let it out, and move on. Just so you don't repress it and it comes out bad later.