nylah Posted May 29, 2008 Share Posted May 29, 2008 Hey Guys, I need some advice. Some may remember my situation, I was in an ongoing, uncommitted relationship for 3yrs or so. He was much older than me, and he said "he wasn't ready to settled down"...(???) Because I was in love with him, I went along with the crap, and I never really pushed the issue; but then I reached the point where I didn't want to be a "booty call" or "fwb" (advice given to me on ls).... long story short I left the area about 8 months ago, and I have spoken to him a few times since then, but my mind was made up that I would not give in to him. He was pretty upset about me just "up and leaving" as he puts it. I called his house on sunday and left a message saying.."Hey, it's me and I was just thinking about you, so I called..how are you, hope things are good, and I will talk to you later, maybe.... bye" I have not heard from him..... I'm thinking if he was thinking any about me he would of called by now... what do you guys think?.. Thanks, Nyh Link to post Share on other sites
sunshinegirl Posted May 29, 2008 Share Posted May 29, 2008 Hon, I'm sorry to say that if he was thinking of you and wanting to be in contact...he would. I did something similar 10 months after my breakup in 2005. Hadn't talked to the ex in 5 months by then and I wound up calling and leaving a friendly message for him at work ("hey, give me a call if you'd like to catch up"). He never called me back. I highly doubt he's punishing you, sweetie. The sad truth is that he's moved on with his life. Be extra good to yourself right now. You will get through this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nylah Posted May 30, 2008 Author Share Posted May 30, 2008 I hate to admit it but I think you may be right..... ouch, it hurts but I won't call him again... (and he's getting cussed out if he calls me..LOL) Thanks for telling me what I already knew.... I will make it a point to be "extra good" to myself. Take Care, and thanks again for responding... Link to post Share on other sites
t_veron Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 There could be a whole other side to this. What if you did something wrong to make him feel you're not relationship material and so this is his way of leaving you in the past? I don't know you and your situation to say that is the case but that is another theory. If you did do something wrong then to fix it a nice hello message won't cut it. You have to leave a message with an apology and the reason you are apologizing which lets him know you realize the mistake you made. Assuming you didn't do anything wrong then he's just not interested in you like you are with him. In that case you deserve better so just keep it very casual and match his move. If he writes you once a month then match his move. If he writes you weekly then match his move. In some cases men like to do the chasing and by you being overly available and chasing him it's turning him off. Link to post Share on other sites
serendip Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 I have not heard from him..... I'm thinking if he was thinking any about me he would of called by now... what do you guys think?.. I am in the opposite situation as you. My ex(we broke up a yr ago) text me 3 weeks ago... "How r yu doing was just thinking of yu today" ...and I never responded. I can only offer you my reasons for not responding.. -at the time she text me I was on a solid month of NC (it's been 2 mths now) and was starting to feel good and didn't want to risk feeling bad -every time I respond in the past...I feel good for responding then after a day I feel bad for a while -I just want to heal -She sometimes didn't respond to my texts and emails in the past -She has a boyfriend so I don't understand why she is contacting me -We had a terrible drama filled breakup (infidelity on her part and me not being able to walk away) -We talked face to face in late March for the first time since the breakup(LDR) and it was pretty harsh(we still had a lot of negative emotions towards each other) So those are my reasons for not responding...don't know if that helps or not. For me I don't really understand why she is texting me...wanting to know how I was and telling me she was thinking of me. She is in a relationship....so what is the point? I also wonder how she is feeling that I didn't respond? If you can give me any insight I appreciate it. Link to post Share on other sites
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