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-   -   I slept with my ex, now what? (https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/142001-i-slept-my-ex-now-what)

Amharus13 20th January 2008 7:39 PM

I slept with my ex, now what?
 
My ex and I have been broken up for about a month. Everyday he has called me and begged for me back but I always told him no. He was unmotivated, with no real goals and completely took me for granted during the relationship. I told him that if he ever wanted to get back together he would have to make some serious changes in his life! Well, Last night i ended up sleeping with him and like an idiot, I told him I loved him right before climax (I got caught up in the moment :-/ )and afterwards he told me that he loves me and he is going to make me his wife one day. The problem is, I am starting to get over him, no not even starting, I know that I am not in love with him anymore and have even started talking to someone else... well now he believes that we are now working towards something again and that is not what I want. Help! What do I do now?

wizzlebee 21st January 2008 3:58 AM

Hi there Amharus

Something very similar happened with me and the ex. We were also broken up for about a month or so when i slept with him. What happened was we broke up and he took it very hard he left the city for a month cause everything he saw and was surrounded by reminded him of us so he left. He came back a month later but he was still calling me,telling me he is sorry and really wants to work things out during that month. I knew in my heart i was no longer inlove with him BUT when he came back and he came to see me i dont know what came over me. I think i missed him, missed intimacy, IDK. But we ended up sleeping together and immediately i regretted cause i knew he would think we were back together. AND HE DID. He came round the next day kissed me hello like we were back together hugged me kept touching me and all i could think was how to get rid of this guy without hurting him.At the time i was starting to like someone else(my current bf ) but we were still friends. Anyways to cut this story short i stayed with my ex because of this, i think mostly out of guilt , the entire time i was unhappy and miserable and he was still the same , he didnt try to change , ok maybe for a week or so, but the longer i stayed with him i started to despise him. Until the frustration built up so much that i basically told him to f**k off(very bad break up_. Dont do what i did and waste time on being with someone you do not love anymore or out of guilt because of sleeping with him, and be honest with him. Its very hard to do i was a coward to do it myself but now thinking back i wished i did, we dont speak at all now cause he thinks im a cold hearted bitch.

Leia 21st January 2008 4:43 AM

Sometimes we just have to be a cold heartless little b!a7ch!

If you don't want to come across as one, just tell him you were caught up in the moment. At least, you're being honest.

Enema 21st January 2008 6:05 AM

Agreed, don't try to hint or play games... just come straight out and say what you said here.

Tony T 21st January 2008 7:38 AM

Tell him you were thinking about someone else when you were having sex and said "I love you." That ought to completely take care of it.

wizzlebee 21st January 2008 7:50 AM

That is just nasty tony! That will scar the guy for life.

HoustonScrewed 23rd January 2008 11:53 AM

When you break up you can't sleep with your ex no matter what. You are screwing with his head as well as yours. It is better for the both of you to go out and have a one night stand rather than to sleep with each other.

Morya El 26th January 2008 3:58 AM

Tears...tears...spiritual tears from a true sacrificed spiritual Love...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Tony T (Post 1503167)
Tell him you were thinking about someone else when you were having sex and said "I love you." That ought to completely take care of it.

Make cry who loves you and do not a have a better way to reach you.Only in prayers,only in thoughts...but always faithfully.
I never left you none second since I met you in 2005,March.Like your angel of guard,wait by my comming poetries.GCKS,BR.
P.S.: Messages on your name with "M" together my name with "C",oppening on Hotmail,using your year of birthday with four algarisms and mine.I just put it here a lot of times and your investigation is never in function,awake darling!!!!

sandflea 26th January 2008 11:44 AM

I'd say a firm - "that was one night only", and "I was caught up in the moment" will start the process. However, I'm sure he's pretty confused at this point, so I'd say NC from now on, with any accidental contact being cold, brief and polite, if possible. If not possible, time to be a BiAtCH...

Hate to say it, but sometimes you gotta rip the bandaid off.

SF

PS - NO MORE HOOKUPS!

MAYFLOWER 27th January 2008 2:08 AM

Well...confusion,I need a manual like to use asy cd creator to surf on this site...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Morya El (Post 1510515)
Make cry who loves you and do not a have a better way to reach you.Only in prayers,only in thoughts...but always faithfully.
I never left you none second since I met you in 2005,March.Like your angel of guard,wait by my comming poetries.GCKS,BR.
P.S.: Messages on your name with "M" together my name with "C",oppening on Hotmail,using your year of birthday with four algarisms and mine.I just put it here a lot of times and your investigation is never in function,awake darling!!!!

I was answering this like "Tony T" was starting the thing,but was the other,sorry.I am not Usa american and I just have problems before,to understand how to move myself on this site.
Sorry!But if Tony T would say:"I Slept with my EX",surelly I will affirm:"Thanks for God,finally I am free fro my infinity punishment to love a married man during almost 3 years.It is all.GCKS.P.S.:THE MESSAGE LEFT CONTINUES BEING FOR TONY T.

Chrome Barracuda 27th January 2008 2:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tony T (Post 1503167)
Tell him you were thinking about someone else when you were having sex and said "I love you." That ought to completely take care of it.

Nice to know how our mods place honesty and common courtesy when being honest wth people

Real nice Tony!

Smooth.....

Morya El 27th January 2008 4:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amharus13 (Post 1502554)
My ex and I have been broken up for about a month. Everyday he has called me and begged for me back but I always told him no. He was unmotivated, with no real goals and completely took me for granted during the relationship. I told him that if he ever wanted to get back together he would have to make some serious changes in his life! Well, Last night i ended up sleeping with him and like an idiot, I told him I loved him right before climax (I got caught up in the moment :-/ )and afterwards he told me that he loves me and he is going to make me his wife one day. The problem is, I am starting to get over him, no not even starting, I know that I am not in love with him anymore and have even started talking to someone else... well now he believes that we are now working towards something again and that is not what I want. Help! What do I do now?

Dear Amharus,if you slept with your Ex,it happens to follow your destiny.The marriage at the time of my grandfathers,existed by 60 years,but today,by miracle,exists generally 6 months.

It happens cause the spirits who are living their incarnations inside a body of a woman,conquested a place on the world.At the time of my grandfathers,the female was only pratically an object of reproduction.

Today,the females just reached an important position on the world.If you just married a woman you just looked to be your partner on all life,to the rest of your life,so analyse what you felt after to slept with her.

I insist always that a marriage is not a promise of orgasms.A marriage is a reunion of things,mostly about companion,dialogue and both sides needs and understandings.You and your Ex,both you are spirits in evolution and the exit is to do the relationship to be an evolution's school for each other.Without it,the life has no sense,the destiny becomes a hell and the sexual act, a very stron and beautifull gift gave from God,means only some empty seconds of existences.Think over about it,be happy and be high!I Love you and your Ex,you are my brothers,thank you for existing,kiss of peace from GCKS. P.S.:SORRY BY MY MISTAKES IN YOUR IDIOM,I AM NOT AN USA AMERICAN!TCHAU!

Amharus13 6th February 2008 11:29 PM

Thankyou all of you for your very good advice! I had spoken with my ex again about 3 or 4 days after I had slept with him and I had told him straight out that I felt it was a mistake and that we had just got caught up in the moment. I told him that obviously the attraction for eachother was still there but that would not be enough for a relationship. I have spoken to him a few times since then but generally we do not talk... He understands now that we will not be back together and he is starting to move on in his life.

Thanks again to everyone for their advice!

prisonbreak 6th February 2008 11:48 PM

Congrats on telling him the truth. Alot of us on here are in his shoes, so the honesty was a good thing. At least he will understand why there is NC. Do him a favor and don't contact him at all. Unless you really want to be with him.


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